


Will the Pain Ever End?

by carolelained



Category: The X-Files, mulder/ Krycek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 11:43:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 85,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5495843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolelained/pseuds/carolelained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulder/Krycek Slash.This story is made from Alex's point of view, also his life so far. It  is set at the end of Requiem with Alex in a Tunisian prison.<br/>This is a slash story and rather violent so only read if it interests you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mulder/Krycek Slash. This story was wrote by me and all mistakes are mine, I live in a mad house with seven kids x

Will The Pain Ever End?  
By CarolelaineD

  
God, I want to scream out and punch something, it’s that black lunged bastards fault I’m here. Some shitty fuckin prison cell, in a shitty fuckin hot country. Death would be preferable to this; I also perhaps now have every goddamn disease known to man.

I can see them and the way they look at me, fuck it’s like I’m just some piece of meat to them. Well, I guess the number of times they’ve had my ass, that’s perhaps all I am. It’s hard trying to fight off huge men one-handed, that’s something I also need to thank Agent Mulder for.

So here I am getting raped about five or six times a day, the guards are useless and some have even joined in. I can still remember coming to this shithole, Spender had known I stole from him and was making me pay for it.

Well, he had better hope that I never get out of here, that’s two people I now have on my hit list. I’m not sure who I’ll do first Spender or Mulder as they are both as bad as each other. I was Spenders lapdog, if he said jump I’d ask how high.

Then I realized I had to put myself first, that was when Spender learned that I wasn’t that easy to control. I bet the cancerous bastard loves the thought of me somewhere like this, well he can laugh for now, but it won’t last.

Then there’s Agent Fox Mulder, self-righteous prick that he is. I actually liked him at first, no that was a lie as I thought he was sex on legs. However, over time Mulder showed his true colors, do as Mulder says or suffer.

The bastard would have left me in that car, just stuck there at the airport cuffed and locked in. But no he realized I could speak Russian, which was when he decides to take poor little me with him.

 Let’s see, what I got out of this little trip to Russia. Nothing that’s what I fuckin got. Shit actually I came back with less than I went with, I came back minus my fuckin left arm that’s what. Losing an arm was bad enough, but to have it hacked off while you were awake, no aesthetic just agonizing pain.

I will think of some sort of revenge for both of them, I just need to figure a way of getting out of this fuckin dump first. The night is fast approaching, with night comes more pain and torture for me.

I can see them watching me but there’s nowhere to go, I’m stuck inside this cell with six other men. They all decided that I was to play the bitch while they just got to rape me over and over again.

I guess that’s the joy of having only one hand, it makes you more vulnerable to others. I know that deep down I’m trying to forget that night is approaching, maybe I’ll just fantasize about Mulder and what I’ll do when I get hold of him.

Maybe I’ll make him eat my gun, that’s when I get another of course. I could shove it down his throat until he gags on it, make him throw up from the taste of gun oil.

Maybe I might decide to rape him and make him my bitch, make him pay for all I’ve suffered while here. Then again I might have contracted some fuckin disease, wouldn’t it be nice of me to share it with Agent Mulder.

All thoughts flee as darkness falls, I’m grabbed and shoved face down as two of them hold me in place. I can feel them tugging at what’s left of my pants, I know what to expect and don’t even fight back. I learnt some time ago that there’s no point, what sort of odds are six against one anyway.

As the first one manages to pull my pants down I remember things, my mind goes back to the very first night here. I was stupid and naive, I thought I could take on the world and win. Yeah, I’d fought back when they grabbed me, I did whatever I could that night to get them off me.

They beat the crap out of me, I ended up with cracked ribs and a severe concussion. The pain became agony as they kept on hitting me, I’d nearly blacked out and wished I had. Once I was beyond fighting back, shit I was even beyond standing on my own.

They took it in turns and were brutal to teach me a lesson, I was finally just left in a corner to suffer the abuse alone. You see they taught me what they wanted me to learn, I couldn’t win with the odds stacked against me.

I lay here now as the second takes his turn, at least it gets easier after the first forced his way in. I am now lubricated from his cum, shit I can feel it inside my ass. I want to be sick, but that would just make it worse, also I’ve hardly eaten for days now.

At least this one seems incapable of lasting long, a few minutes and it’s all over, two down four to go. The third one is the worst, he has a tendency for wanting your full attention.

Me I’d just rather pretend I was somewhere else, somewhere far better than here. He grabs my hair and forces my head up, it’s then that I feel his hot breath as he whispers in my ear.

“Come on you little bitch, you know I want you conscious while I rape you.”

“Fuck you.”

I mouthed back at him on purpose as he hated that, sometimes he would hit my head on the concrete floor, at least that way I was out of it.

“It won’t work this time bitch; I’ve fallen for all your tricks before.”

“Whatever.”

“Maybe I get turned on by that mouth of yours, have you ever thought about that.”

“I don’t give a fuck either way.”

“You still think you’re so big and hard, hell even after all this time."

“Well at least I’m better than you are, you’re nothing but a dirty uneducated brainless fuckin animal.”

“I’ll show you, you little fuckin shit.”  
With that he grabbed my hair slamming my head down, blackness came once more and that was one up for me. However, darkness was not to last for long, at least I’d missed out on two of them, five down one to go.

That’s it, maybe I should choose six people to get revenge on. Six people to pay for what these men have done to me. Well, I already have two on my list, there was already Spender and Mulder.  
Maybe I could use my time here planning who else there was, there was also Skinner who’d pissed me off a lot. Shit I can still remember the night at his condo, the night on the balcony   
freezing to death.

Well, now I had three on my list, just three more to go and all the time in the world to think. Well, I got a reprisal, it seemed the sixth man was too sick to bother with me. 

Who was I trying to kid anyway, all I was doing was dreaming about revenge. I’d never be free or get out of here, I crawled back into my corner licking my wounds until next time.

Soon the guards came and took the sick man away, it was then I realized I’d most probably die in here. It was however only two days later when the guard came, he also had brought someone else with him.

“You have a visitor, also it looks like you’ll be leaving us.”

Shit, I looked past the guard, at first I thought I was just dreaming and couldn’t believe my eyes. 

“Why are you here Marita?”

“To save your sorry ass, Alex.”

“Why you and why now?”

“It wasn’t my choice Alex, Spender sent me here to get you.”

“Well, he can go to hell.”

“Fine you stay here then Alex if you like the company that much.”

“Point taken, he put me in here so why free me now.”

“He’s dying; he wants you to restart the project.”

“Well if it will get me out of here.”

“He wants you fully cleaned up and testing, then we will need to go meet with him.”

“Fine whatever, can we just leave now.”

Yeah, I bet the bastard wanted me cleaned up, I’d be too dirty to go near him otherwise. Well that was fine by me, I cleaned up while Marita went to get me some clothes. 

I had no problem facing the old man, this time it would be my own agenda and my terms. I had to admit it felt good to be clean, however, I would never forget the rapes and how dirty they made me feel. I thought I’d feel better once I was away from that place, however, my first night turned out really bad.

I lay there in a bed in my motel room, also I kept throwing up really bad too. Sleep refused to come for quite some time, also my brain wouldn’t stop working in overdrive. Marita just wanted me well enough to travel with her, it was hard as very few people here spoke English even the Doctors.

I heard the knock on my room door, there stood Marita looking as perfect as ever.

“How are you feeling this morning Alex, I hope you’re well enough to travel.”

“I feel like shit, but thanks for asking.”

“Well, I have to admit you’ve looked better.”

“Great so when do we leave here.”

“One hour Alex, it’s a private plane so you should be okay once aboard.”

“Why are you doing this Marita, why are you helping me?"

“It’s a job Alex, so don’t go reading anything into it. If Spender hadn’t sent me I wouldn’t be here now.”

“Yeah I guess I can’t blame you for that.”

“Well come on get moving, I am on a very tight schedule here.”

“Why what’s the hurry.”

“I have to get you to Spender within a week.”

“Great, I can’t wait.”

I dressed and before I knew it we were leaving, soon we were on the private plane heading to D.C. Did Spender really expect me to just roll over, shit it was his fault I’d suffered all the abuse.

Once we arrived in America Marita took me to a clinic, I was well aware that it was one Spender owned. So here I was just stuck here, well until Marita came back to collect me.

I was led to what they called my quarters, there was a bedroom along with a small bathroom. At least I was safe for now, also it felt far cleaner than that prison cell. I was left and told to rest before tests began, as soon as they left I fully checked the room out. 

It was no surprise at all to find the door locked, shit I also noticed the small camera in the bathroom, great that was all I needed. I’d planned to cover the camera with something however, every single thing was fastened down or bolted.

I guessed I’d escaped one prison for another, as that was what it felt like at the moment. So they would get to watch me sleep and shower, I wouldn’t even be able to take a piss in peace.  
Two hours later someone came for me, I was led into a white sterile room.

“Please remove all your clothes Mr. Krycek.”

“Like hell I will.”

“Your choice Mr. Krycek, you move them or we will.”

“Why do I need to remove them anyway?”

“I’m just following orders; so can you please just remove them.”

“Who ordered this?”

“Mr. Spender as you’re to have many tests while you’re here. He made it clear that you are to be cleaned and whole once more.”

“Ha like I’ll ever be whole again if you haven’t noticed I only have one fuckin arm.”

“I think he meant whole as in fully functional, now please just undress.”

“Fine whatever.”

Shit, I didn’t like this one bit, I felt a bit safer with my clothes on but had little choice. I slowly started to remove my clothes, it was hard enough doing anything with only one arm.

“Can you also remove your underwear Mr. Krycek?”

“Like hell.”

“I only have so much patience Mr. Krycek.”

“Why do I need to remove everything, just tell me what the point is to all of this?”

“Spender wants you to be checked for any sexual diseases, along with any mental or physical damage you might have received.”

“I don’t give a shit what the fuck he wants; Spender can go rot in Hell for all I care.”

“Fine have it your own way.”

I watched as the Doctor pressed a button, within seconds two extremely large men entered the room. I had no chance at all to react, I soon found myself on the examination table. Oh shit, that was when I noticed the leather straps, soon I was strapped down and unable to move at all.

“You fuckin bastards, I swear here and now you’ll all pay for this.”

“Please, I will also be forced to silence you if I have too, please just behave yourself.”

“So why not just put me to sleep then, at least I wouldn’t know what you were doing to me.”

“Sorry but my orders are to keep you awake, you’re meant to be fully aware of anything that’s done to you.”

“Yeah I bet Spender took great pleasure issuing that order.”

I noticed the Doctor then pick up a pair of scissors, soon my whole body was on show for all of them to see. The bastard had cut my underwear from my defenceless body, I now lay here unable to stop whatever they had planned for me. 

I was wheeled into a chamber, the Doctor then just left the room and locked the door behind him. Fuck it was like been inside that silo all over again, I really hated confined places ever since that time.

That’s something else to thank Agent Mulder for, he was the bastard that had brought me back from Hong Kong.

Soon the room started to fill with some smoke like stuff, I started to panic as I realized it was like some gas chamber. They left me there for over an hour, that was when the smoke cleared and I could see once more.

Suddenly there were lots of water jets turning on, shit I was now covered from head to toe in freezing cold water. Finally, I was taken out and was back in the lab, I was then given a thin sheet to cover up my modesty. Shit, I was frozen to the fuckin bone, hell even my teeth wouldn’t stop chattering.

  
“That’s one part over with Mr. Krycek, I’ll return shortly so we can start the next step.”

“I’m fuckin freezing, what the hell was that anyway.”

“It’s just to decontaminate you of anything, Spender has said that he wants you a hundred percent clean.”

“So can’t I at least have a blanket or maybe some clothes?”

“Sorry Spenders orders, you get a sheet and that’s all. He said you were to have no luxuries no matter how much you moan.”

With that the Doctor left the room leaving me alone once more, I just lay here wondering what the hell they had planned next. I knew if Spender had his way it would get worse; he would be taking great pleasure watching me suffer.

I bet all the cameras were recording everything, I also bet Spender would be getting off on them.  It would be okay as I’d make him suffer, he’d wish he’d never been born.

However, at the moment I was freezing, hungry and tired. I was fed up and was drifting off to sleep, that was when I heard the room door open once more.

“Come on Mr. Krycek wake up, it’s now time for step two.”

“Great so what’s it to be this time?”

“First we need to take some blood from you.”

“Why what’s that for?”

“We need to see if you caught anything from your sexual encounters.”

“How the fuck do you know what happened to me?”

“It’s none of my business, however, I do believe Spender had you watched all the time.”

Great now I felt really sick, knowing Spender he’d paid the fuckers to rape me. I watched as the needle went into my arm, they sure took plenty of blood just to test for sexual diseases.

“Great so now that’s done what’s next, what great things do you plan to subject me to now?”

“I’m sorry to say it, but you’re not going to like the next step at all.”

“Why just what do you plan on doing to me.”

  
“I’ll just talk you through it as we go, then that way you won’t get too distressed.”

“Why is it that I don’t like the sound of this?”

“I will be removing your restraints from your ankles, don’t worry I will be changing your position that’s all.”

“Don’t worry, yeah right are you taking the piss.”

“It’s a simple rectal examination Mr. Krycek.”

“So why strap my legs up then.”

“You may have suffered some tissue damage; I don’t want to make it worse if you suddenly jump.”

“Well it’s not like I have a choice in the matter, so can we just get this over with now.”

I’d expected him to turn me onto my side or something, hell I didn’t know anymore. One thing I knew was I didn’t expect this; he’d unfastened my ankles just to fasten them up in stirrups.

Here I was with my ass up in the air on full show, I wasn’t even allowed to use the sheet anymore. I lay there unable to move as the Doctor put clean gloves on, he then used some lubricant and stood between my legs.

I knew what was coming yet I still moaned, I felt his finger slide deep inside me and move around. I shut my eyes and willed for it all just to end, shit this was happening far too soon after all the rapes I’d suffered.

“Does it feel sore or painful Mr. Krycek?”

“You have your finger up my ass and you want to fuckin talk.”

“Please calm down, I’m sorry, but I need to know.”

“Shit, I’m fine so you can give it a rest now.”

“Okay you seem to be handling it, I don’t think there’s any serious damage.”

“Great does that mean I can leave now?”

“No sorry, now it’s time for the second part of the test.”

“What the fuck do you ...... shit that isn’t fuckin normal, what the hell are you doing?”

“This is the second part of the test.”

“What this? Trying to fuckin rape me and turn me on.”

“I just need a sperm sample Mr. Krycek.”

“You can go to hell before that happens.”

I could feel his fingers moving around and I willed myself not to come, all I had to do was think about the rapes and everything else.

“Fine have it your own way once more, you will now be taken to your room for the night. However, I guarantee that we will be starting where we left off, you will come for me in the morning and give me what I need.”

As he came over I spat in his face, they were as much monsters as the men in that cell. I was led back to my room and the door locked, there on a small table someone had left food for me. 

Fuck them as maybe if I refused to eat I’d get sick, ha then their tests would have to end for now. I threw myself on the bed exhausted, soon morning came once more and I was brought breakfast.

“Good morning Mr. Krycek, I hope you managed to sleep well.”

“I’ll sleep when you let me go.”

“We need to get you ready for your medical.”

“Is that what you call it nowadays, I call it rape and sexual abuse.”

“This could have been avoided, all you had to do was willingly give me the sample.”

“I don’t even see why you need the sample.”

“It’s not my job to question them, can you please shower and eat?”

“I’m not hungry, however, I’ll shower to get rid of your stench.”

“Fine I will be back shortly.”

Suddenly I had this bright idea, life had been cruel and I was getting older now. Basically, I wasn’t a teenager anymore, hell I would be lucky to get it up more than once a day.

While I was in the shower I would do some thinking, I would think about a certain F.B.I Agent and what I could do to him. I imagine myself bending him over his own desk, fucking him hard in front of his beloved poster and him begging for more. 

Soon he would be begging me to make him come, soon I myself came all over the tiles in the shower. I wash away the evidence knowing they will be here to take me soon. I enter the examination room willingly; it feels so good to have just a bit of control once more.

“Right Mr. Krycek come on, let's have you back in the correct position.”

“Is there any chance of clothes after if I behave?”

“Sorry, that would be against Spenders orders.”

“Well fuck you then.”

I lay back while he fastened my ankles once more, then I also suffered the humiliation of his finger up my ass once more. I just thought of my life and all the bad things, the Doctor soon noticed that I wasn’t getting hard no matter what.

“Do you have a problem in this area Mr. Krycek?”

“Sorry, what was that?”

“You know, problems like erectile dysfunction.”

“No I’m fine, I just left it for you earlier in the shower.”

He stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind himself, I was just left alone to wait for my punishment. It felt like quite some time had passed when he returned, shit this time he also had two orderlies with him.

“Right, Mr. Krycek I’ve watched the video from your shower earlier.”  
“It has a name you know.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s called voyeurism.”

“I am a medical Doctor that is all, however due to your actions I had to await a phone call.”

“How nice for you.”

“Don’t be smart, I was waiting for Mr. Spender to call and tell me what to do.”

“He can go to hell for all I care.”

“It’s okay as I have new orders now.”

“Great, I can’t wait.”

He then turned and ignored me, he spoke to the orderlies like I wasn’t even there.

“I want his ankles strapping back down on the bed, then I want one of you to go and get me a catheter.”

“What the fuck, shit you’re not coming near me with that.”

Soon I found myself flat on my back, the Doctor loomed over me as he inserted the tube to my bladder.

“This is the first part of your punishment, you will now remain here strapped down until tomorrow morning. You see you won’t have your hands to masturbate with, so at the end of the day we will win Mr. Krycek.”

“Ha, that guarantees nothing.”

“Its okay Mr. Spender said the second part of your punishment would arrive by morning.”

Then they all proceeded to leave the room, I was now here all alone strapped to the table. I couldn’t even take a piss without them knowing, also it was still fuckin freezing cold in here.

The morning felt like it had taken days to arrive, shit I ached so much from the table and the cold. The bastards had turned all the lights off at night, the room had become really cold and dark just like that fucking silo.

I knew it was business as usual when the Doctor arrived, he also brought his two henchmen with him.

  
“Let’s see if you’re willing to cooperate today, the sooner you do the sooner you get out of here.”

“Go to hell all of you.”

“Fine, you don’t learn do you Mr. Krycek, right let’s get him moved and in the correct position while he’s too stiff to fight back.”

The bastards had known they could strap me up with ease, shit my body was too stiff to even try fighting back. We went through the usual routine, he even tried once more by inserting a finger inside me. As for me, well I just thought negative thoughts so it remained flaccid.

“Right I can see that’s not working, let’s open the box and see just what Spender sent.”

I watched as the Doctor opened the rectangular parcel, I had to wonder just what Spender would come up with now. I couldn’t believe my eyes as he pulled the object out of the box, he even held it up to make sure I could see it.

“This is interesting, shall we give it a go and see if it works Mr. Krycek?”

“Like fuck, you can stay the hell away from me with that.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Krycek, but I only follow orders.”

I looked on in horror at the large vibrator he held, shit the end was covered in a lot of large spikes. I knew this was Spenders way of humiliating me, he would also get his kicks out of watching the video.

“Fine, I’ll just use my hand then and jerk off.”

“Sorry, but it’s too late for that now.”

“You’re nothing but a bunch of lousy bastards.”

“You could have avoided this if you’d just followed orders.”

“What and end up like you, like a fuckin door mat.”

“Just remember Mr. Krycek, you’re the one suffering for your lack of discipline, not me.”

“Fuck you, I’d rather suffer the pain than end up like you.”

“Good you won’t have a problem with us starting then.”

“Fuck you, fuck you all.”

There was nothing I could do as he prepared the torture device, he then also started to prepare me too. He slowly inserted the tip into my ass, then he suddenly forced it deep inside me. Fuck I wanted to scream, it felt like I was being torn apart as he turned it on.

Fuck I became instantly hard, nothing I did or thought about would make it go soft. Jesus Christ the thing had many settings, every time he turned it up the pain got worse. His torture method was forcing an orgasm out of me, I just felt exhausted and like jelly.

“Great you’ve got what you want now, just get the fuckin thing out of me.”

“All in good time Mr. Krycek.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean.”

“Mr. Spender said to get a few samples, just so he can make sure you’re healthy.”

“Like fuck are you doing that again."

“Sorry, but you don’t get a say.”

I became unable to talk as he turned it back on, the second time was worse as my body was now more sensitive. 

“And you thought you could only come once a day Mr. Krycek.”

“You bastard, I swear if I get out of here I’ll kill you all.”

“I guarantee here and now, once you leave here you won’t be able to find any of us.”

Shit, I started panting heavy, I knew my orgasm was fast approaching once more. Fuck my ass ached along with my cock, finally, however, he removed it from my backside.

“Right Mr. Krycek I’ll leave you alone for an hour, an orderly will come and wash you and give you some water.”

“Why what do you plan to do to me in an hour.”

“Start all over again.”

“Are you taking the fuckin piss?”

“No I’m sorry, now just get some rest while you can.”

God I had to get the hell out of this place, it would have to be soon or I would end up going mad. Soon the orderly came and sat me up, he also gave me some water to drink.

“Please I can’t feel my hand; I think I’ve got cramp or trapped a nerve.”

“Here let me have a look.”

“Please hurry, God I can’t stand the pain.”

He unstrapped my hand to take a look, to see what exactly was wrong with it.

“It’s perhaps the circulation, I’m sure it will be fine soon.”

Fuck that I’d had enough of all this shit, also I was sick of all the abuse. As soon as he went to refasten the strap I moved, I grabbed him hard by the hair and pulled him forward.

Within seconds the orderly smashed his head on the table, he then fell to the floor as the blood flowed from the wound.  
At that moment in time I was passed caring about anyone or anything, I couldn’t even care less if he was dead or alive.

This was about me now and my survival, I worked fast at removing all the remaining straps. It was just as I removed the final one they came, the door flew open and four men grabbed me then I felt the needle. For fucks sake I came around back on that table, also strapped back down.

“You fucking bastards, I swear you’re all dead men.”

“Calm down Mr. Krycek.”

“What’s the matter, you worried I might just get free and kill you all?”

“Listen to me, I’m going to make a call and put it on loudspeaker. I have someone who’d like to talk to you, he would like to discuss your behaviour.”

“Let me guess, Spender I take it.”

The Doctor never answered me, he just dialled a number and waited for an answer.

“Mr. Spender Sir, yes I have Mr. Krycek here as you asked.”

“Very good, now Alex dear boy let’s talk.”

“I have nothing to fuckin say to you, you fuckin black lunged bastard.”

“Alex you would be wise to pay attention and listen to me, otherwise you’ll be back in that prison cell by the end of the day.”

“What difference would it make, since I’m nothing more than a prisoner here too?”

“Yes but you will have your freedom back soon, you won’t have that Alex back in Tunisia.”

“How do I even know you’re telling the truth?”

“Alex we only had a couple more tests to do, however, you’ve now put a man in hospital with head injuries. You will spend the remainder of your time here sedated or strapped down unless they need you functional for some reason or other.”

“You mean so they can abuse me and rape me again.”

“Alex two days that’s all, then you will be out of this place I promise.”

“Well it’s not like I have a lot of choice is it.”

“Good boy now just behave yourself.”

“Can you answer me just one question Spender?”

“That would depend on the question dear boy.”

“Why all the tests, also what the hell do you need my sperm for.”

“Firstly Alex I need to make sure you’re clean, you never know what you might have picked up in that prison cell. Also the sperm is just a way of checking your general health, there’s work to be done soon Alex.”

“Yeah right, you had me put in that cell in the first place.”

“Yes to teach you a lesson Alex, you stole from me and it’s not the first time is it.”

“But everything’s okay now because you need me.”

“I’m ill Alex, I have no one left to run the project for me. I need you back in Oregon very soon so please try and cooperate.”

“Fine I’ll do it if it gets me out of here.”

“If you behave it will only take a couple of days, I will then send Marita with some clean clothes and to get you.”

“Then what?”

“She will bring you to me, then Alex we will be able to discuss everything together.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Right Alex goodbye for now, also make sure you lose that attitude before you come to meet me.”

The bastard was still pulling all the fuckin strings as usual, also I had to wonder why the hell Oregon once again. I’d thought it was all over after El Rico airbase, shit I’d thought they were all dead except Spender.

I realized that Oregon and U.F. O’s would also mean one other thing, it would mean Agent Mulder would also be there.  Mulder heard everything, one mention of a ship or alien and he was there like a dog in heat.

As I lay here I decided getting out would be good, good to get my fucking revenge on them all. I behaved myself and held my tongue, believe me that was extremely hard at times. I’d suffered the semen collections four more times, now I was just so weak and exhausted.

Spender kept his word, Marita showed up with lots of new clothes for me. Shit, I was even allowed a gun, Marita informed me I’d be meeting with Spender in two days. I was to spend a couple of days in a motel to get healthy again, also I had to eat more than I had been as I’d lost weight.

Spender would want me in tip top condition, soon he would have me running around after him once more. It felt good to be clothed and armed, I felt a bit like my old self again.

The room was spacious with a comfortable bed, I ordered some hot food first then I’d sleep. I just wanted to stay here forever, food and comfort without Spender or any aliens.

It was then that I remembered I also had a cell phone, it was now time to amuse myself just for a change. I dialled the number I knew by heart, then I just waited for an answer.

“Mulder here.”

I just remained silent listening to his voice.

“Mulder here can I help you.”

I was laying in this huge comfortable bed, so it was only natural that my hand went beneath the cover. Part of me just wanted to know if I was still capable, what with the rape and abuse I’d suffered.

Also Mulders voice had always done it for me in the past, just imaging it was his mouth around my cock instead of my hand.

“Right one minute and I hang up."

“Don’t do that Mulder.”

“Krycek.”

“You guessed it.”

“Give me one good reason not to hang up on you?”

“Because I’m about to come, Mulder just thinking of you and listening to your sexy voice.”

“Your sick Krycek.”

“You love me really Mulder.”

“Like fuck do I.”

“Hey you’re still on the phone Mulder, you could have just hung up on me.”

“Fine well, I’m hanging up now.”

“Yeah okay you’ve done what I wanted you to do, I hope it was as good for you too Mulder.”

“Next time I see you your dead Krycek."

“In your dreams Mulder as I have great plans for you.”

“Goodbye, Krycek.”

“Alex.”

“What now.”

“My name’s Alex, you even called me that once.”

“Fine Alex then, I still think you’re sick and beyond help, though.”

With that Mulder hung up on me, I guarantee that there will be a next time. I got an early night, I wanted to be refreshed and ready in the morning. For tomorrow would be the day I came face to face with Spender.

The man who’s responsible for the last few months of my life, also all of the rape and torture I suffered. I had to admit to myself that I looked good, I also felt a lot better in my smart clothes just like my old self. I knew I was still a little underweight, however, it didn’t make me unhealthy.

Marita arrived and even commented, she said it was hard to believe it was me, also the same person she’d collected from that prison.

“Alex can you just take off your shirt and jacket.”

“Marita we haven’t time for this, also before was just a spur of the moment thing.”

“Yes tell me about it, Alex I want you to remove it for your new arm that’s all.”

“What arm, I guess I’d just expected Spender to leave me like this.”

“He wants you to be as whole as possible, come on I’ll help you fit it.”

Marita helped me with the straps, once I was dressed it was hardly noticeable to anyone, well except me that was. I knew I was no longer whole and it made me sick, how the hell would anyone want to look at me now.

Marita threw me a set of keys, apparently the car was now mine to use. It was now time to go and see the cancerous bastard, the man I despised and wanted dead. He never gave me the clothes gun and car for myself, everything he did was just to serve him.

We finally arrived and I got the biggest shock of my life, shit Spender already looked like he was half dead. No that was a lie, he looked more like he was already at death's door.

I despised the man more than anyone in my life, my mind kept coming up with images of him dead.

“It’s good to see you Alex dear boy.”

“I’d say likewise; however I’d just be lying.”

“Still your usual self I see Alex, well I assure you this is bigger than you or me. We need to rebuild the project Alex, you must go to Oregon and find the ship.”

Great the bastard sends me out on a wild goose chase, there is no fuckin ship out here. Also, I have seen Mulder and Scully, apparently they are searching for some missing deputy. I phone Spender who says it’s there somewhere and to work harder, he says to find the deputy then I’ll find the ship.

  
I’m sick of all this fuckin bullshit, so I arrange for Marita to meet up with me. It’s time to go face a few people, ha people who’d love to see me dead. I will discuss my plans with Marita as I’ll need help, especially if I want to come out of this alive.

I knew coming to F.B.I headquarters would be risky, however at least Skinner managed to hold Mulder back. I still had control over Skinner, he seemed to also have some sort of control over Mulder.

I explained to Mulder that the ship was there, I also explained how Spender wanted to rebuild the program. If he had his way, the consortium would be alive once more.

I had no idea if Mulder truly believed me, however, I knew Mulder’s curiosity would lead him there. I made my excuses to everyone, I also told Marita that I just needed some space and time alone.

I’d just wanted to go back to my hotel room as I felt so weak, I’d arranged to go with Marita later to see Spender. I’d actually lied to them all as I had other far more important things to take care of first.

I only went back to my room to change clothes, once that was done I went back out. I went to a van hire company, they had just what I needed to get the job done. I then went to a grocery store and bought provisions, within a couple of hours I had everything I would need.

I had made some plans for the near future, I knew I’d be going underground for some time. I go back out to the woods knowing where the ship is, however, I don’t care about it anymore.

Shit I see the car and realize Mulder’s not alone, I’m quite surprised he managed to talk Skinner into coming out here. Well, I’d planned this with Mulder alone, so I guessed I’d just have to lure him further away.

I watched as they both set up some laser beams, soon Skinner got up and returned to his car. I knew that I’d have to move now, I had to take this chance as I might not get another one.

I grabbed Mulder from behind and covered his nose and mouth, as soon as the chloroform worked his body went limp. At least the new arm Spender gave me was strong, 

I dragged his body to the van and threw him inside. I needed to get far away from here as soon as possible, I could always get some rest later on.

Once I was far enough away I stopped to check my hostage, I opened the rear doors to find Mulder still out of it. I used cable ties and fastened his hands in front of him, I also then placed a blindfold on him.

After that I placed a gag on the Agent, personally I would eventually want him without it so I could hear him scream. First I had things to do and people to see, as it was now time for me to go meet Marita.

I parked the van in a deserted place, I then drove back to the hotel in my own car. Soon I was back changed and ready to go, I phoned Marita to tell her I was ready now. Once we got there Spender was looking rather pissed off.

“I take it we failed Alex, perhaps you never meant to succeed.”

I wheeled him towards the top of the stairs, it was just then his nurse shouted out.

“What are you doing?”

“Sending the Devil back to hell.”

“As you do to Mulder and me .. You do to all of mankind Alex.”

I think about what he says, well for all of about thirty seconds before pushing the wheelchair forward. Once that cancerous bastard was dead I felt better, I calmly walked down the stairs and stepped over his body.

Marita followed me, however, I told her I would see her later as I had to be somewhere. At the moment, I had far more important things to do, back at the hotel I packed all that was mine, just a few clothes that were all.

Soon I was back on the road heading towards the van, also towards Agent Mulder. Upon opening the van door I knew he was awake, he tried moaning so I removed the gag. I transferred my bag from the car into the van, I got behind the wheel leaving Mulder restrained and alone in the dark.

Not that it took him long to get that mouth of his working, it was just so typical Mulder.

“Who are you, what the fuck do you want with me.”

I just totally ignored him, otherwise I knew he’d recognize my voice straight away. Deep down I wanted him to suffer as I had done, I wanted him to be scared and start panicking. 

“You do know it’s a serious offence to kidnap an F.B.I Agent.”

Okay, I guess that Mulder thinks his kidnapper is stupid or something. However, he did have a valid point, there would be no chance of redemption now after this.

I planned to make them all suffer just like Cancerman, however, Mulder was mine and would suffer in a far different way.

I drove for over another two hours, finally I pulled up outside my destination. I then went to get Mulder out; he was hesitant but knew he had no choice in the matter.

“Where are we, please just tell me what you want with me.”  
I led him inside and towards a bedroom, might as well make his stay a comfortable one.

Soon I shoved him backwards onto the bed, I then used the chloroform once more. I worked fast while Mulder was out of it, then I left him in the bedroom alone.

I went to get a stiff drink; I knew it was only a matter of time before the fireworks started. I was on my second vodka when I heard him, let’s just say he sounded really pissed off with it all.

“Where the fuck am I, shit where the fuck are all my clothes.”

I guessed that Mulder was not happy waking up naked.

“Whoever you are I swear you’re dead, what’s the matter are you too scared to show your face?”

Great I knew the time had come to reveal myself, might as well just get it over and done with. I walked towards the bedroom and waited, I then took a couple of deep breaths and walked in.

“Krycek you fuckin bastard, shit I should have known it would be you.”

“Hello, Mulder.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare hello me, come on be a man and untie me Krycek.”

“For fucks sake it’s Alex, my name is Alex okay.”

“Oh yes, how the hell could I forget your little-perverted phone call.”

“Yeah it was good for me, was it good for you too Mulder.”

“You’re sicker than I thought Krycek, I think you need to get some help.”

“Well I have all the help here that I need, God if it was good over the phone it will be even better now.”

“Touch me and I’ll kill you.”

“Why Mulder you should be flattered.”

“Yeah right, flattered that I have the attention of some psycho.”

“Really Mulder you know me better than that.”

“Yeah right like how you killed my Father.”

“Mulder that was like four years ago, also I never did it anyway.”

“Yeah right, you’re nothing but a liar Krycek.”

“It never stopped you listening though did it Mulder. Fuck you, I’ve taken enough shit of everyone over the years. You Mulder have been the biggest pain in my backside of all, not the kind of pain I’d like in the backside I might add.”

“Has anyone ever told you Krycek, shit you’re nothing but a pervert?”

“Yeah whatever.”

I was sick of the comments; he spoke like he was far better than me. I opened my pants and revealed my hard cock, his face had a look of sheer terror. 

“Krycek what the fuck are you doing.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Mulder, I’m only having a wank that’s all.” 

“My God have you totally lost it?”

“You see you turn me on Agent Mulder, so it’s either this or I can rape you if you want.”

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

I moved my hand up and down my cock, soon I had a good rhythm going.

“You never told me to go away before.”

“Krycek what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Tunguska Mulder, shit you were quite cosy in the back of that truck.”

“We were in Russia and it was fuckin freezing.”

“You keep telling yourself that, also I lost a fucking arm because of you.”

Soon I was coming all over his naked body, Mulder was like a sacrifice on an altar.

“Shit you’d better be cleaning that up.”

“Make up your mind Mulder, you just told me not to touch you.”

“Well I don’t want you, hell or any part of you near me.”

“You never said that the night I kissed you on the cheek.”

“I was out of it that night.”

“I’ll tell you what’ I’ll kiss you now and see what happens.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare?”

I stripped out of my clothes so I was also naked.

“Alex please don’t do this.”

“Ha so its Alex now, what’s the matter are you scared of me now Mulder.”

“Please Alex just leave me alone.”

I started by kissing his nipples, then I would put them in my mouth and suck on them hard. I then kissed his stomach slowly moving down, soon I kissed him on his inner thighs. I could feel his cock against me, shit he was rock hard.

“You want me don’t you Mulder.”

“No never.”

“You’re the liar here Mulder not me.”

“Yeah right, I can’t stop my body from reacting.”

“Mulder are you crying, I bet you don’t even know how it feels to be raped. To have old dirty men force themselves onto you, shit day after day you’re just their toy.”

“I take it you know how it feels, however it wasn’t me that did it to you Alex.”

“Treating you like a piece of fucking meat, forcing their hard cocks inside you no matter how much it hurts. Actually the more it hurt the harder it became, making you too scared to even sleep.”

“But that’s how you’re making me feel right now, do you want to be as bad as them Alex.”

“It’s too late for me Mulder.”

“No it’s not too late, are you the one crying now Alex.”

“What would you know about anything Mulder?”

“I know more than you think.” 

“Stop trying to fuckin profile me.”

I couldn’t help it as I backhanded him, however when I saw the blood I fled the room. What the fuck was I myself becoming, was I prepared to do the things that had repulsed me. I knew I’d need to see him again, even if it was just to let him go.

“Alex come here now, shit you can’t just leave me here.”

Great now Mulder was starting to get rather restless, I knew I’d have to go and see too him.

“What do you want Mulder?”

“I’m thirsty and I need the bathroom.”

I went over to the chain on the floor, one end was attached to the floor and unmovable. The other end had a cuff attached to it, I placed it around Mulders ankle and locked it tight.

“Shit Alex is there really any need for all this.”

“I plan on removing the cable ties Mulder, don’t attack me unless you want to die here.”

“Fine just get on with it then.”

“You will be left with just the chain, you’ll be able to reach the toilet and I’ll bring water.”

“Alex how long do you plan on keeping me here?”

“I don’t know yet Mulder so just shut up.”

I removed all of the cable ties so he could now move, I then went to get him some food and water.

“Is there any chance of some clothes Alex?”

“No sorry Mulder I like the view, I will give you a blanket at night time if it gets too cold.”

“Alex you really need help; you need to deal with what’s happened to you.”

“Fuck off Mulder, do you want me to hit you again.”

“No I was just making a suggestion that’s all.”

“Stay the fuck out of my head Mulder.”

“Have it your way, I was only trying to help that was all.”

“Read something Mulder, hell there’s plenty of books on the shelves. I have some things to plan so just leave me alone will you.”

“Fine I won’t offer you any help then.”

“Mulder if you were free you’d kill me straight away.”

I walked away as I had plans to make, some plans regarding some very nice Doctors. Unless Spender had a new lab I’d find it, I knew where every single lab was, I just needed to find the right one.

 I opened the large map out onto the table, I then marked on it the location of five of his labs. After that I marked the ones close to an airstrip, I was looking for a place the private jet took off from.

I found only two within fifty miles of an airstrip, well at least I’d managed to narrow it down to two. Next I wanted the driving distance between the labs to the plane, one was over an hour drive so was really doubtful. The other turned out to be only a twenty-minute drive, which was about the same time it had taken Marita to drive me.

Bingo, I now knew I had the location of the lab, all I had to do was check it out and make some plans. It was late now, after I’d had some sleep I’d decide when to go.

I’d checked on Mulder to find him asleep, however I was unlucky and sleep refused to come. Shit however once sleep finally claimed me it never lasted, I woke up screaming and once again in the dark. In my dream I’d been back in that silo, it had felt so real and now my throat was sore.

“Alex come here.”

Shit I’d forgot about Mulder, now he’d know just how fucked up I really am.

“Alex.”

“Go back to sleep Mulder.”

“Come here Alex, you might feel better if you talk about it.”

“No Mulder so just shut the hell up.”

I slammed the bedroom door shut on his voice, however it took some time to calm down and sleep once more. Worse was to come later on that night, the nightmares came back to haunt me once more, however this time it was my arm.

I had tried so hard to fight them; I’d even tried running away from them. I never knew that I walked in my sleep, well that was until I found myself in bed with Mulder. Fuck no, I opened my eyes to find Mulder fully awake, also he was holding me in his arms.

“Mulder let me go.”

“Why Alex you’re okay here.”

“Mulder I mean it, shit how come I’m still alive anyway.”

“Alex if I killed you who would feed me, killing you would be like killing myself.”

“Thanks’ I feel so much better now.”

“You suffer with really bad nightmares don’t you?”

“Just drop it Mulder.”

“Why won’t you talk about it Alex.”

“Maybe because no one fuckin cares.”

“Alex I.......”

“Shut the fuck up Mulder, don’t you dare pretend that you care about me. Shit I could take it from anyone else, just not you.”

I couldn’t lay here any longer, I shoved Mulder away and fled the room. I prepared plenty of food for him and water, then I showered and dressed.

I shoved all my plans into a hold all, along with my gun and phone. Now it was time to tell Mulder I was leaving, he was going to be on his own for a while.

“Right I’m giving you enough food to last a day or so, I’m off out as I have things to do.”

“When will you be back?”

“I’m not sure yet Mulder.”

“Shit what if you don’t come back Alex.”

“If I don’t come back you’re dead, no one will find you and you’ll starve to death.”

“God you have no idea how comfortable that makes me feel.”

“Just knock it off Mulder and behave yourself.”

“So are you going to tell me where you’re going, or are you just going to leave me in the dark.”

“The dark Mulder, just how you left me that night you visited Marita.”

I left Mulder alone wondering if I’d even come back, I then drove for a few hours to the lab. I thought it would be safer than taking a plane, especially as I didn’t want to leave a trace.

Spender was so fuckin stupid, I knew all the secret back ways in to the labs. I had also been here many times in the past, as an assassin or prisoner.

I wanted to get inside, I wanted to know how many people were actually here. I had no intention of killing anyone unless I had too, especially if they were receiving the same treatment I had while here.

 I found my way to one of the rear doors, all was silent including the corridors. Shit I was starting to think the place might be abandoned after all. Fuckin great, I turned the corner and walked straight into the Doctor. 

“Good afternoon Mr Krycek, I heard that you went back to work for Mr Spender.”

Shit I knew I’d need to think fast, he obviously hadn’t heard about Spenders death yet. 

“Yeah he has me running all his errands for him.”

“So what brings you here?"

“Spender wants a list of all employees, also a timetable of the hours they work.”

“Fine would you like to follow me to my office.”

“Yeah okay, no problem at all.”

I sat and waited while he printed off the information, I was trying to keep my cool and look natural. 

“Right there you go Mr Krycek, is there anything else you require?”

“Yeah he said he also wants a list of all the projects for the last month, and how many people are still here.”

I didn’t want to ask how many were here at the moment, I thought it might look suspicious so I asked about the last month. 

“Very well I will also print that for you.”

“Yeah okay thanks’.”

“Is that everything.”

“Yeah that was all he asked me to get.”

I then went back to my car, I drove to the nearest motel and got a room for the night. I would grab something to eat, then I’d make my plans for tomorrow as it would be a busy day.

I lay the printouts upon the table, according this there were only two patients there at the moment. As for the staff, well six would be there at the time I planned to destroy it. The Doctor and two orderlies where going to be at work, they were the main ones I wanted revenge on.

 As for the other four members of staff, well they never treat me but they still worked for Spender. I’d just get their addresses and deal with them later on, it would also depend on their whereabouts.

I got everything I needed ready and decided on some sleep, my biggest concern would be worrying about Mulder all alone.  
I woke up feeling rather refreshed, maybe it was the thought of getting some justice. I grabbed a quick shower and dressed, I then made a drink from the complimentary coffee, and it tasted like shit but woke me up.

I just wanted to remain very alert today, also I’d be glad when I was finally on my way home. I took a slow drive out to the lab, well at least Spender had them isolated from the public. It meant that at least my job would be easier, well I hoped it would be anyway.

Once I arrived at the location I prepared myself, I put the silencer on my gun and checked it was loaded. I got out of the car leaving it unlocked, it was now time to go find the Doctor once more.

  
I headed towards the Doctors office to find him there, well he would be the first one to go. I acted as normal as possible, I just knocked and waited. 

“Come in.”

“Mr Krycek back so soon, was there a problem with the information I supplied for Mr Spender.”

“Yeah you could say that, only it’s not Spender with the problem.”

“What do you mean.”

“I’m the one with the problem.”

“Why what seems to be the problem Mr Krycek?”

“After what you did to me, hell you shouldn’t even need to ask what’s wrong.”

“That Mr Krycek was just business.”

“Yeah well this is business too, so don’t worry about it.”

I pulled out my gun and released the safety catch, I then pointed it at his chest. 

“Can’t we at least talk about this, maybe I can help you with your problem.”

“I only have one problem and that is the fact you’re still breathing.”

With that I fired a bullet straight into his chest, I just stood and watched as he dropped to the floor dead. I kept my gun in my hand now as I searched the place, I managed to find four more members of staff along the way.

My work would not be done until they were all dead, at least that was another four down. In a room I found the patients, they were both strapped down but capable of walking. I gave them directions on how to get out of here, I told them to find my car and wait in it for me.

I searched everywhere for the other orderly without luck, it would be another twenty minutes before I located him. Or should I say he found me first, also this one had to be fuckin armed.

I was a trained Assassin and very fast, however before he died he pulled the trigger. Shit I knew I’d been hit in the leg, even walking fuckin hurt. I knew had he also been a trained killer I’d be dead now, however lucky for me he was just a thug with a gun.

I managed to make it back to my car, I then drove closer towards the building to finish the job. I jumped out of my car and popped the trunk, there sat the six cans of petrol I’d brought with me. I walked around and poured it all over, soon I retreated towards my car leaving a trail.

Once inside the car I removed my own belt, I then used it to make a tourniquet for my leg. My jeans were starting to turn red, I knew the wound was bleeding a lot. I grabbed the bottle I’d prepared, I then lit the rag and threw it onto the trail.

Soon I was speeding away from the scene, I just needed to get my passengers to safety first. 

“Are you both Okay?”

“Yeah fine, you do know Spender will kill you when he finds out.”

“Spender’s dead.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I’m the one that killed him.”

“Wow now that is good news.”

“Look I will drop you off at the nearest town, It’s just I have some place to be.”

As soon as I had them somewhere safe I drove off, I found a secluded place to park up for a few hours. It was now twenty four hours since I’d left Mulder, I’d planned to go straight home, however I had to deal with my leg first.

I lay a blanket on the back seat and removed my jeans, I then grabbed the first aid kit along with my penknife. I knew I was taking a risk doing it by myself, yet I had no choice or I’d bleed to death anyway.

I had a bottle of vodka in the trunk for emergencies, well I am Russian after all. I drank enough to numb a small amount of the pain, I couldn’t drink too much yet as I needed steady hands. I put my belt between my teeth, the last thing I wanted was to bite my tongue off.

I pressed my finger slightly against the bullet hole, well at least I could feel the bullet so it should be okay. I flicked open the penknife and prepared myself the best I could, I had no intention of pissing around now.

When I had enough courage I took the knife and cut, I cut deep enough so I could pull the bullet out. I’d had to stop a couple of times to scream, shit it fuckin hurt. I put some sterile stitches on it and covered it up, that all done I then downed the rest of the vodka.

Soon I passed out from the vodka and blood loss, at least this way I didn’t have to suffer the pain anymore. When I came around it still hurt, just not as bad as before. I limped out of the car and put my jeans back on, I then fastened the belt back around my leg.

I’d noticed that it was still bleeding through the bandage, I guess all that vodka was not helping the blood to congeal. I’d slept for about six hours, I also knew I was legally over the limit to drive, yet all I wanted was to go home.

I decided that I’d just take it slow, hopefully that way I wouldn’t get stopped by the police. Worse would be not making it home at all, shit that would be the equivalent of me murdering Fox Mulder.

I ended up having to stop twice on the way back home, once to grab some sleep also once to throw up. Maybe been sick had cleared my head somewhat, I was hoping to drive the rest of the way without stopping at all.

After another hour I was struggling to keep my eyes open, I also realized I’d drank the vodka on an empty stomach. I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d have to stop, I needed some food to give me some energy back.

I found a garage and decided to buy more gas, I also bought a couple of chocolate bars and parked up. I entered my house and went to the bedroom, Mulder was still there on the bed laughing. I realized that he was laughing at me, yet I had no idea why. I decided to turn around and see what was so funny, that was when I saw Skinner.

Fuck it was too late to do anything as he grabbed me, he then released Mulder from his restraints. Soon I found that I had taken Mulders place, I was now cuffed and strapped to the bed.

Skinner bent down and started cutting away at my clothes, he then used the knife along my nipples making them bleed. I wanted to scream however I refused, soon though I found myself completely naked.

Skinner stood and started to remove all his own clothes, shit he even started talking to me. 

“Your ass is mine boy, I guess you never learnt your lesson after that night you spent on my balcony.”

Soon he stood there in only his boxers, I really had a feeling this was going to fuckin hurt. However as he removed his boxers I saw them all, his cock was covered in little spikes.

However once Skinner came near me I screamed, I couldn’t stop screaming at the thought of it going inside me. Shit it was then that I sat up and realized where I was, I was still safe and still in my own car.

 I’d had a bad nightmare that was all, there was no Skinner here planning to rape me. I ate both chocolate bars to settle my stomach and set off, this time I was going home without stopping at all.

My first thought when I got home was Mulder, it was late and the place was in darkness. It turned out Mulder was still just lying on the bed, I turned on the light and he sat up looking at me.

“Where the fuck have you been Krycek.”

“Stop moaning Mulder, I left you food what more could you want?”

“My freedom would be nice.”

“Look Mulder I’m tired and I’m pissed off, if there’s nothing you need tonight I’m off to bed.”

“I want some fuckin answers, shit you just leave me here chained up in this room. Just to top it off you might not have come back, shit I could have died here.”

“Jesus Christ Mulder talk about melodramatic, you’re alive and I’m going to bed.”

“Yeah that’s right you run away, you’re good at doing that Krycek.”

“Mulder just drop it I’m tired.”

“Yeah well you look like shit.”

“Thanks’ for that, goodnight Mulder.”

“Bastard.”

“Sticks and stones Mulder that’s all.”

  
With that I left the room and Mulder behind, I needed some sleep and collapsed on my bed. My head hurt and I felt sick, shit maybe I should cut my loses and let Mulder go. As the night went on I felt worse, I didn’t even remember going to Mulders bed that night.

It was his voice that made me realize where I was, shit I tried to sit up but the room just spun. 

“Alex what’s wrong with you, why are you here?”

“I don’t know.”

“What the fuck do you mean, you don’t know?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Come on wake up properly Alex, oh shit have you been taking something?”

“Leave me alone Mulder.”

“Shit you’re burning up, come on you bastard talk to me.”

Everything was turning black, shit then the slap brought me back to reality. 

“Don’t you dare die on me Alex.”

“Mulder get off me, shit what are you doing?”

“Be quiet Alex.”

“Get the fuck off me then.”

“I’m removing your pants that’s all.”

“What the fuck do you mean, that’s all.”

“Shit Alex your leg’s bleeding really bad.”

“Yeah I got shot that’s all.”

“Shit you could have died.”

“Yeah well I didn’t.”

I lay there as Mulder removed my pants, I was just glad that I was too ill to get hard. Any other time I’d have given anything to have him take them off. 

“Shit Alex it’s infected really bad, that will be why you have a fever.”

“I’ll take some meds and go back to bed, I’ll be fine after I’ve had some sleep.”

“Alex if you die I die too, just bring the first aid kit and some water, you can sleep in here tonight.”

“Since when was you in charge Mulder.”

“Since you were stupid enough to get shot, I don’t suppose there’s any chance of you bringing the key back too.”

“I’m not that stupid Mulder.”

“Come on move your ass before the fever gets worse.”

I got off the bed minus my jeans now, thanks to Mulder I was left in my boxers and a tee shirt. I made my way towards the kitchen for some supplies, soon I had everything and went back to Mulders bed. I felt really shit now and just made it, I collapsed down on to the bed. 

“That vodka had better be for medicinal purposes Alex.”

“Yeah whatever, some of it’s to get rid of the pain.”

“You will be sick.”

“I don’t care, all I want at the moment is to get some sleep.”

“Fine let me clean your leg first, then you can sleep Alex.”

“Fine however I’m drinking some of the vodka first.”

I had to lay there as Mulder worked, he cleaned my leg with warm water and used some more sterile stitches. Soon it was all clean and bandaged back up, I was surprised by how tender he’d been with me. 

“There you go Alex, some meds should also reduce your temperature.”

“Thank you Mulder, it just surprises me that you care at all.”

“I care about getting out of here alive, not you Alex.”

“Gee thanks’ for that.”

“What do you want me to say, shit you kidnap me and abandon me.”

“Yeah big bad Alex, I’ll just drink myself to sleep and things might be okay.”

“You can’t drink all that.”

“There’s only one way you’ll stop me drinking it all.”

“What would that be?”

“Drink it with me Mulder.”  
“Fine why the hell not, it’s not like I’m working or anything.”

“Very funny, well come on then let’s get started.”

I was sat here on a bed with Fox Mulder, I was half dressed and he was totally naked. Also we were planning on getting drunk together, just what the fuck was I thinking. However I no longer cared as the drink took effect, I could also tell that Mulder was becoming rather drunk too. 

“Alex where did you go.”

“To deal with some bad people.”

“But your bad too Alex.”

“Yeah right, I’m a Saint compared to some.”

“Did you kill anyone?”

“Mulder what’s with all the questions.”

“I thought we were getting drunk and becoming friends.”

“You want to be my friend.”

“Yeah.”

“Since when Mulder.”

“I don’t know.”

“Mulder answer me just one question.”

“Go on then.”

“Did you ever like me?”

“Yeah Alex until you killed my father and betrayed me.”

“I never killed your Father Mulder, Lois Cardinal did. While I was away I killed some really bad people.”

“Why were they bad then?”

“They worked for Spender, they hurt me along with many more people.”

“So you will have pissed Spender off now Alex.”

“Spender’s dead.”

“How do you know?”

“Look Mulder I killed Spender along with six of his staff.”

“That many.”

“Hey I saved his test subjects.”

“You do have a conscience then.”

“Mulder do me a favour.”

“What...”

“Just drink some more and shut up.”

“Fine whatever.”

I was too drunk to care now, Mulder could have asked me anything and I’d have answered him. There was also the chance he wouldn’t remember anyway, hell he was drinking just as much as me. 

“Alex why do you have some clothes and I don’t?”

“I don’t know Mulder, I’m sure there was a reason why you have none.”

“Take yours off then Alex, that way it’ll be fair.”

“Fine Mulder if it makes you happy.”  
I undressed and became as naked as Mulder.   
“Shit Alex.”

“What.”

“Your arm, shit it just dropped off.”

“Don’t worry about it Mulder as it does that from time to time.”

“Can I touch it Alex?”

“Why?”

“Because I did it.”

“Mulder it wasn’t your fault, please just forget about it.”

“I can’t God you were so gorgeous Alex, hell you’re still gorgeous. Fuck what have I done, shit Alex why are you crying?”

“Because your been kind to me.”

“Alex can I kiss you?”

Shit even drunk I’d not expected that, especially from Mulder.

“As long as I get to kiss you back.”

Within seconds Mulder was on me, trouble was it wasn’t just my mouth he was kissing. Soon he reached my nipple and started licking it, shit the effects were going straight to my cock. Fuck here I was in bed with Mulder, also with a hard on. 

“Mulder you’re going to have to stop.”

“Why don’t you like it?”

“Hell yes I like it, that’s the problem.”

“Well I don’t see how it’s a problem.”

“Mulder I’m not into rape, but hell there won’t be any going back soon.”

“Who said I want to go back Alex.”

“Maybe it’s just the drink talking Mulder.”

“I know what I want Alex, shit I’m not that drunk.”

“So what do you think it is you want Mulder?”

“I want you to fuck me.”

“Shit ask like that and how can a guy refuse.”

“So you agree then.”

“Yes I agree then, just lay on your back Mulder.”

“God what a romantic you are Alex.”

“You asked me to fuck you, not make love to you Mulder."

“Alex you’re stalling.”

“And you’re a demanding slut, come on lift your ass up for me.”

I grabbed a pillow and shoved it under Mulders backside, great all I had near was some spit and pre-cum. I slowly inserted a finger inside Mulder and moved it around, soon I managed to get two in there. I used a scissor motion to stretch him, god, the man was tight. 

“Shit Alex God don’t you dare fuckin stop.”

“Do you like that Mulder?”

“Fuck yes.”

I hadn’t expected Mulder to be so responsive, I knew I had to fuck him soon though. 

“Do you want me inside you Mulder?”

“God yes Alex.”

“Okay, I’ll take it easy lover.”  
I slowly slid my cock into Mulders warm tight ass, fuck I felt like I was in heaven now. I worked up a rhythm and knew I wouldn’t last long. 

“Mulder, you’re gorgeous, do you know that?”

“Shut up Alex and fuck me.”

“I’m not going to last long, shit Mulder I’m going to come soon.”

“Alex you talk too much.”

I worked my cock in and out a few more times, soon I couldn’t stop myself from coming. It was only a minute later that Mulder came all over me. 

“Shit we really need to do that again Alex.”

“Yeah tell me about it, I’ll just need some time first I’m afraid.”

“What’s the matter Alex, are you getting old.”

“Hey that’s not fair, you’re older than me Mulder.”

“Yeah I bet I’m good to go within the hour.”

“Time will tell Mulder, come on let’s finish the vodka off.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

We drank the vodka until it was all gone, we also talked a lot more too. Jesus if that was all it took; hell I’d have got the man drunk years ago.

Soon we were both asleep in each other’s arms, I ‘d no idea how much time had passed before I woke. It was still dark out so must still be night, I lay there wondering what had woken me up.

It only took a minute to realize it was Mulders hard cock, it appeared to be sticking into my back. The man really had got hard again and fast too, I rolled over to find him still asleep. I crawled down the bed until I reached his cock, soon I was sucking on it like a mad man.

I carried on until it was totally wet, it was only then that I climbed back up the bed. I straddled over the sleeping man, soon I had the tip of his cock against my tight hole. I took a deep breath or two, then I slid down onto his hard erection.

 “Jesus Alex what are you trying to do to me.”

“I can stop if that’s what you want.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare.”

“Do you like it Mulder?”

“Yeah who the hell wouldn’t, shit watching you move up and down on my cock. God, you’re so gorgeous Alex, shit I could watch you all day.”

“Mulder I’m about to make you come, so you would say that wouldn’t you.”

“I’ll say it to you anytime Alex.”

“I might hold you to that one day.”

“Whatever you’ll see.”

“Come for me Mulder, I want you to come deep inside me.”

With that I worked up as rhythm, in the meantime Mulder jerked me off. Jesus, I’d never had an orgasm like that before in my life. 

“Come on now Alex sleep, you need to get that leg better.”

“Yeah I bet we’ll have a hangover in the morning.”

“Yeah me too.”

The next time I woke I’d sobered up a lot, I could also sense that Mulder was awake. I just lay there not wanting this dream to end, I knew that Mulder would regret the drinking and sex from last night. 

“Alex you’re really quiet.”

“What do you want me to say Mulder?”

“The truth would be good.”

“The truth about what Mulder?”

“Everything, tell you what I’ll ask the questions, however, I want no lies at all.”

“Some things I can’t tell you about, for your own safety Mulder.”

“Okay answer as many as you can then.”

“Fine, I’ll do my best Mulder.”

“Firstly, do you regret last night at all Alex?”

"Shit I should have seen that one coming, what do you think the answer is Mulder.”

“I don’t know that’s why I’m asking you.”

“No Mulder I have no regrets at all, do you?”

“No Alex I have no regrets; I just wish we’d dealt with our feelings years ago.”

“What feelings Mulder?”

“The next question Alex, was it just sex or was there more?”

“Are you having fun humiliating me, no it wasn’t just sex okay. So now you can go and have a laugh at my expense.”

“Alex I’ve known for a long time; I could never figure you out that’s all.”

“Yeah well I hadn’t planned it at the beginning.”

“Alex why are you keeping me here anyway.”

“You’re safer here Mulder that’s why.”

“Shit, Alex you have me chained like a fuckin animal.”

“It was the only way I could keep you here.”

“You can’t keep me here forever.”

“I have things to do then I’ll decide Mulder.”

“Does it involve killing more people?”

“You’re better off not knowing Mulder.”

“So that’s a yes then.”

“They have to die Mulder, you don’t know what they’ve done to me and thousands more.”

“Will the killing ever end Alex?”

“I’ve only killed men that deserved it Mulder, Spender has four more labs that I need to destroy to end this.”

“Why Alex?"

“Spender made me into the person I am now, he even had me locked in a fuckin silo and left to die.”

“Alex come on calm down now.”

“He also had me locked in a prison, I was raped repeatedly every single day and you want me to calm down.”

“I’m so sorry Alex, but keeping me here won’t help you.”

“There are records Mulder, records on nearly every single person. I need to find them to see what was done to me, I also need to see what your tests revealed Mulder.”

“I was never tested on Alex.”

“Mulder every time you had your mind wiped, every time you had a medical they got the results, the black oil was also their doing.”

“I thought the black oil was your doing Alex in Russia?”

“I didn’t create the black oil, also I never took myself to Russia you did.”

“So you’re saying everything you do is for mankind; you really expect me to believe you’re a saint.”

“I never said that Mulder, I’m just as much a victim as anyone else.”

“Let me go then and I’ll try and help you.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t or won’t Alex, come on which is it?"

“Both.”

“Alex please.”

“I want to protect you Mulder, also if I’m here alone I’ll go mad. All I do is have nightmares, nightmares about aliens the rapes, I also have them about the silo and my fuckin arm. I have nightmares about everything, there now you can take the piss and have a laugh.”

“Alex I’m not laughing.”

“Yeah right.”

“I’ll prove it to you, just unfasten the cuff.”

“I’m sorry.”

With that I walked out and left Mulder alone, I knew the man was trying his hardest to profile me. I just felt so confused at the moment, I just needed some space and time alone.

I went into my own room and lay down, however after a while I got up to find a pen and some paper. I then returned to my room to write the note, I knew it was wrong to keep him here.

Mulder I’ve left the key within your reach, you’re free to leave here now. You will have to take the car as your miles from civilization. I had no right keeping you here against your will, even if it was to keep you safe.

All I ask is that you just go, please leave me alive to finish the work I started. I promise I’ll only come to you if I learn something, I truly never meant to hurt you.

Meeting you Mulder was the best thing to happen to me, I only have one regret and that’s not been able to see you again.’  
Please forgive me.  
Alex xx

I folded the note and waited until Mulder was asleep, I then placed the key on the side for him to reach. As for the note, I left that on his pillow alongside my heart.

I went back to my own bed, I took a couple of sleeping pills and lay down. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to hear Mulder leave, unless he decided he wanted me dead.

  
I woke a few hours later and got a big shock, there in my bed beside me was Mulder.

 “Shit Mulder, why didn’t you just leave while I was asleep?"

“I told you if you removed the cuff I’d stay.”

“I just don’t understand why?”

“Because, Hell I don’t know, many reasons I guess Alex.”

"Like what?"

“I believe you okay and want to help, also I need you too Alex and its hard explaining my feelings at the moment.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Alex does Scully and everyone think I’m dead?”

“No I hear things now and then; they believe that you were abducted.”

“I bet you had all that planned didn’t you.”

“Yeah, I just hadn’t expected you to show up with Skinner.”

“Hey, I was even surprised he wanted to come with me.”

“If you really want to help Mulder, shit I don’t know but we’ll have to do something.”

“What do you mean?"

“All the abductees are being returned one by one.”

“Shit so what do you suggest?”

"You need to go back too Mulder; I have people who can help me if need be.”

“What about me?"

“You will be returned, then I’ll get Jeremiah to fake your death. Once they all believe you're dead you’ll be free to help me.”

“So when do you want to do this Alex?"

“If you agree to it I’d say about two days, we will be okay until then. But you have to be one hundred percent certain, there won’t be time to back out Mulder.”

“I’m sure Alex, when will you need to make the arrangements.”

“I’ll talk to Jeremiah tonight and see what he suggests.”

“Yeah sounds good, what do we do until then.”

“I guess you can do what you want, it’s not like you’re my prisoner anymore.”

“Fine if I get a say then, well I think we could both do with a good shower.”

“Yeah true we do need one, you go first Mulder I can wait.”

“Alex I meant together.”

“Really!”

“Yeah really, come on then move.”

“If you’re sure Mulder.”

“Yeah I’m sure come on babe.”

Shit now I'm starting to wonder, either the real Mulder had been abducted, that or I was dreaming it all. I sat on the toilet lid as Mulder turned the shower on, it seemed strange watching him do normal things with me.

“Come on Alex are you ready?"

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

He came over to me and held out his hand, I looked up at him and he took hold of it. It was hard to explain my feelings as part of me felt ecstatic, the other part was waiting for the knife in my heart.

If this was just revenge I knew it would finish me, yet I knew I had to take a chance with this. What if just for once someone really did want me, also even better that it was Mulder? Unless I was willing to give Mulder a chance, well I’d never know. 

“Alex you’re miles away.”

“I still can’t get my head around you wanting to stay, especially after I gave you the chance to leave.”

“I’m here now because I want to be, that’s all that matters Alex.”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“Come on then let’s get rid of some of your clothes.”

Mulder was so gentle as he pulled my tee shirt off. 

“Mulder, can I ask you just one thing?"

“What’s that?”

“Does my arm make you feel sick, or should I say the lack of an arm?"

“No Alex it’s part of who you are, it reminds me of the strength you must have had to carry on, I love you as you are Alex no matter what.”

Did Mulder just say what I thought he did, he loved me. Well, I was too scared to ask just in case it was my hearing. I knew I loved Mulder, however, it was insane to believe he felt the same way.

I was still daydreaming as I stepped under the shower. It was heaven to feel Mulders hands upon me, especially with pleasure and not pain. He soaped up my hair and started washing my body. 

“Fuck you turn me on Alex, Jesus my cock’s rock hard already.”

It was then that I felt Mulders soaped finger enter my ass, soon it was joined by another one. After a couple of minutes, I was slammed against the tiles, then suddenly his fingers were gone. 

“Alex.”

“Oh God.”

“Alex pay attention to me.”

“Jesus Mulder.”

“Alex I won’t rape you as you’ve already suffered enough, I want to make love to you. For that I need you to agree, Alex do you understand me?”

“Yes I understand, God yes I want you to fuck me Mulder.”

“Not fuck you, I want to make love to you.”

“You mean it don’t you?”

“Yes and I want you to understand the difference.”

“I do understand, please make love to me Mulder.”

I felt his cock enter me and shove home, his other hand reached for my rock hard cock and I came within minutes. Mulder was kissing me all over and I was so turned on. As I’d come I tightened my ass muscles, then I felt Mulders hot come shoot deep inside me. 

“I love you too Mulder, I always have.”

“Yeah, I just think were as fucked up as each other, in a good way that is.”

“Yeah true, come on we’d better get dried off so I can call Jeremiah.”

Jeremiah agreed to come over the following night, he would then explain a few things to Mulder. Also how it would affect his own life for the next few months. I put some music on, then we just lay on the couch together. 

“Alex I really don’t want to upset you now or in the future, I told you in the shower that I won’t rape you. I just need to know some things about you, just so I know how to act near you.”

“Fine Mulder I’ll grab a bottle and we can talk, I’ll also explain why I had to kill the people I did.”

It was a few hours later I’d explained a lot to Mulder, also a lot about my own past.

“To be honest Alex I don’t know how you survived.”

“I had to survive and keep the fight going, mankind has to win this war.”

“Yet you’ve suffered so much at the hands of mankind Alex.”

“Not all are bad Mulder just a few, mainly the ones that worked for Spender.”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Do you know what kept me going?"

“What Alex?"

“You, yet at the time I couldn’t decide if I loved you or hated you. Every time I jerked off it was to the image of you, I worshiped you at times."

“I’m not that special Alex.”

“To me you are.”

“Did you really dream that Skinner was here waiting for you, hell waiting to rape you?”

“Hell, I had nightmares, shit he could be brutal when he wanted to be. Remember before Russia I spent the night on his balcony, which was after he punched me full on in the stomach. I spent that night praying he wouldn’t come back outside.”

"And did he?"

“No, the next morning he just left like I wasn’t even there, but I’ll never forget just how strong he is.”

“Yeah I remember when my water was tampered with, I hit him and he grabbed hold of me. Yeah, the man had one hell of a choke hold.”

“That’s why he can’t know that I took you Mulder, shit you’re his friend and he would kill me.”

“I know about the nanotechnology Alex; did you really need to do that to him?"

“It was either I control him or Spender, but Spender had just wanted Skinner dead. He would only let me keep him alive if I had control over him.”

“Why did you care Alex, what did it matter to you if he lived or died.”

“Skinner’s a good man Mulder, he’s the type of man you need on your side. Plus he is also your friend, I couldn’t do it to you or Scully.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me everything at the start Alex?"

“Because that wasn’t Spenders way, I would have been dead had I spoke while he was alive.”

“That bad hey.”

“He left me to die in a silo, he also tried to kill me with a car bomb. That Mulder was back in the time when I hadn’t even said anything.”

“I guess I’d had you all wrong Alex.”

“Don’t worry as most people do.”

“Come on do you fancy an early night.”

“Mulder, I thought you were never going to ask me.”

We ended up having an early night, we didn’t do anything apart from hold each other. Mainly it was perhaps because I’d spent the night crying, I had to trust Mulder and take his word on things.

So far he’d stayed, let’s see if he still would after I reveal my plan tomorrow.

The next morning, I woke early, I just spent most of the day going over the maps. I planned how we’d destroy the remaining four labs, also how we’d get there and away fast.

I also learned how many people worked at each one, also how many still had patients. Out of the four only one had patients at the present time, there were three people kept there against their will.

I decided that we should destroy that one first, otherwise they might get spooked and kill the patients. Soon I’d done all I could for now, Mulder brought me a coffee then we heard the door. 

“Mulder this is Jeramiah; you have met before.”

“Yeah I remember, you saved those people in the fast food restaurant.”

“Yes Mr. Mulder that’s correct, however, I’m here today because Alex wants me to talk to you. I will explain everything, then the final choice must be your own.”

“Yeah that’s fine, however I’ll do anything to see Spenders empire crumble.”

“Very well Mr. Mulder.”

“Just call me Mulder.”

“Fine Mulder it is, this is hard to explain and I don’t want to scare you.”

“I’m a big boy, just give it to me then.”

“You won’t be in control of your body for the next few days. Everyone believes you have been abducted, so you will reappear the same way as the rest. However, I won’t be there to heal you, as Alex will tip of the F.B.I to my whereabouts."

“So why won’t I remember any of this.”

“Effectively you’ll be dead, I’m sorry, but it has to look real. You will be marked like all the other abductees, but without me they won’t be able to help you. They will class you as dead and bury you.”

“Are you for real?”

“I will have people dig you back up as soon as everyone’s left, I will then personally heal you fully.”

“I really won’t remember any of this, I don’t actually like the idea of been buried alive?”

“No nothing at all, your last memory will be of you just falling asleep. Afterwards, it will be like waking up after a good night’s sleep.”

“Fine when do I do it?”

“If you’re sure we’ll do it tomorrow; we need to get things moving.”

“Fine I agree.”

“Very good.”

Shit, I was wondering if I really wanted Mulder to do this, I knew it would help the cause immensely. Maybe I was just being selfish, I decided I also needed to talk to Jeremiah while he was here. 

“So Jeremiah, I guess it’s up to us to start while Mulder’s gone.”

“No, you will stay here and make plans Alex, arrange all the transport and provisions. I am guessing it will take a few days until Mulders funeral.”

“That’s it?”

“I have my reasons Alex, I’m sorry, but I’m unable to explain at the moment.”

“So I spend a week doing what I’ve already done?”

“Yes, I’m sorry.”

“Fine, Whatever, I guess it’s going to be a boring week then.”

“Right I have to go; it’s been nice talking to you both. Someone will come tomorrow at Eight so be ready.”

We said our goodbyes and I see Jeremiah out, now it was just Mulder and myself once again. 

“Mulder you don’t have to do this, you’ll be putting all your trust in myself and Jeramiah.”

“Yeah I know Alex.”

“Mulder you would never have trusted me before.”

“I trust you now Alex, isn’t that all that matters.”

“You really trust me with your life?”

“Yes Alex I really trust you, it will be easier this way if they think I’m dead.”

“God I love you Mulder, we have one night together then that’s it for a while.”

  
“So what do you want to do Alex.”

“I’ll let you decide.”

“Do you know what I really want?”

“No not unless you tell me Mulder.”

“I want to spend the night drinking and talking, like we did the night we shared the vodka. After that I want to hold you, then I want to make love to you.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

“Come on then you must have some vodka somewhere around here.”

“Yeah, that’s something I have plenty of Mulder.”

We drank for most of the night, soon we were both out of it. I just hoped that Jeremiah didn’t have a problem with us drinking, as we were both pissed now. It got to the point we just fell asleep on the couch, moving was totally out of the question.

When we finally woke the sun was bright, shit I didn’t even know what time it was. 

“Mulder you’re on my arm.”

“Yeah I’m comfy.”

“I can’t see my watch.”

“Why does the time matter Alex?”

“Because you promised to make love to me, also I won't see you for a week.”

“Yeah okay point taken, right Alex I’m moving now.”

I managed to move my rather numb arm from under Mulder, it turned out to be nearly noon. 

“Shit we’ve been asleep ages Mulder; we now only have eight hours left together.”

“Eight hours for now Alex, things will change in just over a week.”

“Yeah I know, also I should be grateful that you’re still here, ha and that I’m still alive.”

“I told you that we’ve moved past that, I guess that ‘I’ll have to prove it again.”

“Yeah I think so too.”

“Come on then let’s go to bed babe.”

“I’m ready when you are Mulder.”

We went into the bedroom and made love, it was really slow and sensual. We just wanted to be together, deep down we were both worried that something might go wrong.

Afterwards we just lay together until evening, soon we had to move to use the bathroom and eat. We then had a shower and just waited until it was time, however eight o clock soon came around fast. 

“Alex if anything goes wrong, well just remember I do love you and we realized before it was too late.”

“I know and I’m grateful, it’s just I don’t want to lose you now Mulder.”

“Yeah I know; it will be harder on you though Alex.”

“Why will it?”

“Alex I’ll be out of it for a week or so, where you’ll be aware of everything and time.”

“Yeah I know and it will be hell, I plan to work and just hope the time goes fast without any distractions.”

“Thanks’ Alex is that what I am.”

“You know what I mean, the faster I work it will be time to see you again.”

“God I can’t even say I’ll be thinking about you Alex.”

“Yeah I know Mulder; all I ask is that Jeremiah protects the memories you have now. Also that you return to me as soon as you can.”

“Yeah I promise Alex.”

“Come on then we’d better go wait outside.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Well Mulder you wanted to meet aliens, hey you even get to travel in a space ship.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look up Mulder, as here’s your ride.”

“Oh God, wow its amazing Alex.”

“Yeah come on just give me a kiss.”

Mulder gave me a long passionate kiss; I was forced to end it as we now had company. 

“Good evening Alex, Mulder I take it you’re ready.”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, goodbye Alex I love you take care.”

“I love you too.”

With that Mulder was gone, shit it felt strange already. 

“Alex come on, you’ll see him again soon.”

“How come you’re still here Jeremiah.”

“Because we need to talk.”

“What about, I’m doing the best I can?”

“You’re not at full use, well not to us anyway.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“You got caught before Alex, Spender had you sent away to a prison in Tunisia.”

“Yeah I’m well aware of that fact, so what I can still do my job.”

“You’re a good soldier and a true fighter to the cause, yet you refuse to listen or see reason.”

“I’ve listened to you Jeremiah, so what do you want now.”

“I’m sorry Alex, all I ever wanted was for you to see reason. Then that way it wouldn’t have come to this.”

I collapsed onto the floor and couldn’t get back up. 

“You fuckin bastard, I did so much for you and even killed Spender.”

“It has to be this way, just sleep Alex.”

Soon I fell into a deep sleep, well that was until the nightmares came. I was in the silo once more, I was cold tired and starving. I was just left there all alone, left to die in that horrible place. It didn’t matter how much I banged, my hands bled yet no one still came.

I’d puked that fuckin alien out of me, the bastard had taken me back to Spender so it could get its ship. Now my stomach hurts so much, I know it’s from the lack of food and water. I didn’t even have a gun, or any other way whatsoever of ending it all.

The ship had gone and the alien was happy, as for me I screamed until I could barely talk. However, that was just the beginning, the nightmares became worse and I had to live them over and over again.

I was still cold, yet I knew I was no longer in the silo as here was a window. Then it suddenly hit me where I was, shit also that I wasn’t alone. I was trapped in an old gulag in Russia, God it was so cold and my fucking hands were numb.

I also had Mulder for company, great all he wanted to do was keep hitting me. I’d warned him not to touch me again, yet when night came we only had each other for warmth. Mulder must have hated having to rely on me, he would need me to get him out of here.

Soon I was running for my life, I was in the woods and just wanted to get away. I was tired and cold when I was found, the peasants offered me food and warmth. The heat from the fire lulled me to sleep, yet when I woke I just screamed and screamed.

Shit they were cutting my fucking arm, it burnt like every single nerve was on fire. I just wanted to die, also for the pain to finally end.

Yet it didn’t end, my arm feels like it’s there and tingling, now I knew what they meant about phantom pains. I could also smell; burnt flesh, shit it was my arm just going up in smoke. I can hear voices in the distance, yet I’m unaware of who they are or where I am. All I know is it hurts, it feels like I have hundreds of insects crawling all over me.

I ask for help but the voices never come near, all I want is for someone to come and wake me up. I don’t want to end up in another nightmare, shit just believing it to be real.

However, I’m now hanging from a balcony, I soon remember whose. My arms so numb from hanging here, shit it’s also so bloody cold here too. Yet it’s not Skinner who comes for me, Mulder appears and gets me out of there and he plans on taking me back to Russia.

Mulder can’t do that; I try telling him that I’ve already lost my arm. He tells me that they plan to re grow my arm, then they will be able to cut it off all over again. I start screaming, shit no anything but that again.

The heat’s back again from the huge blazing fire, shit I can already feel the heat against my skin. I just make it away in time as the car explodes, shit now I really want Spender dead. I fall at first hitting my hands hard on concrete, now the pain is back worse than before.

I can hear voices once more, no matter how hard I try I am unable to distinguish the voices. Shit I’m strapped down once more and unable to move, fuck no anything but this, I realize I’m back in that god dam lab.

What the hell have I done to deserve all this, I’ve lived all this once before at some other time in life. Now they were going to abuse me again for their own amusement.

They keep screaming at me that Spender needs my D.N.A, yet no one will tell me the reason for this. All I know is that if I’m good I can work for Spender; I will be able to rebuild the project once more.

I’d rather kill Spender than work for him, shit suddenly I have an image of the black lunged bastard, he’s lying dead at the bottom of some stairs. However, it still doesn’t stop them shoving that thing in me, fucked and forced to come by a vibrator.

They keep me here and humiliate me over and over, yet all I feel is a burning pain once more. Well just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I now find myself face down on a bed.

It’s not consensual as he forces himself on me. The man is brutal and only concerned about himself, he doesn’t care that he’s ripping me apart as long as he comes.

I lay there on the bed afterwards felling dirty and sick, however within minutes another man is on top of me. He was whispering dirty things into my ear, the things he’d like to do to my body.

I try to push him off, it’s a bit hard when you only have one arm... Yet in return he shoves my head into the pillow, he then fucks me even harder than before.

No guards ever came, or anyone for that matter to help. I guessed they were all glad that it was happening to me, at least that way they knew they were safe.

Six prisoners all taking it in turns to fuck me daily, I had it up my arse and down my throat. Day after day I had taken what they dished out, trapped and unable to escape.

I started to realize I was trying to fight against the sleep, it was as if part of me wanted to finally wake up. I think the other half of me was scared to wake up, not knowing just what I might see.

I would have sworn I could hear Mulder, but that must have been a dream between the nightmares. I’d kidnapped him and he’d shot me, no I knew that wasn’t quite right. I had kidnapped Mulder however he wasn’t the one that shot me.

  
Mulder had helped me when the wound became infected, afterwards he’d just left me. He’ never came back like he promised he would, so now I seem to just live my life over and over again. I don’t see the point to any of this, I’m just alone and in pain so I keep asking why?

My arm has gone numb yet again, shit then the pins and needles kick in. After a while the burning returns and is unstoppable, yet I remain a prisoner trapped here. It’s cold and dark once more, why won’t anyone hear my screams and come to help me.

I realize the voices are becoming clearer now, also that one of the voices belongs to Mulder. I try talking but find it hard to swallow, god my mouth is unbelievably dry. Maybe that’s what the problem is, they don’t hear me. So I start screaming as loud as possible, they will hear me now no matter what. 

“Alex please come on, you’re okay now.”

“You’re not real Mulder.”

“Alex try and sit up, Jeremiah wants to talk to you.”

“Get him away from me, you don’t understand and it’s his fault I’m stuck in this nightmare.”

“He tried to help you Alex.”

“What by taking me against my will and for what, just to totally fuck my life up.”

“He tried to make things easier for you, I want you to survive and not get yourself killed.”

“Well, I was doing okay.”

“You’ve come so far and survived so much, we’re so close to the end now Alex. Four more labs that will be dangerous, I’m not willing to lose you now babe."

“Fox you won’t lose me.”

“Alex take a look at your arm.”

I took a look under the covers, shit all I wanted was to throw up. 

“What the fuck has he done?"

“He gave you your arm back babe.”

“I saw it in a nightmare, shit they just want to cut it off again.”

“Alex it was a bad dream that’s all.”

“I remember everything.”

“Jeremiah said the dreams were because of your new arm, you subconsciously dreamt situations to fit the pain.”

“How long have I been here.”

“It took two weeks Alex, but at least you’re whole again.”

“So that’s it, you just wanted me to be whole again. Shit was I that much of a turn-off.”

“Alex please don’t think like that; I’d still love you even if you still had just one arm. I ‘m glad you have two now you can fight if needed, survive the things we still have to do.”

“Do you really mean that Fox.”

“Yes I mean it, Jeramiah said they’d offered to give you your arm back before, yet you just kept refusing.”

“Yeah I didn’t want anyone to go near it, also I never believed it would work. So yeah I refused, yet the bastards went ahead with it no matter what.”

“It will take time, but you’ll get used to it, you’re a fighter Alex and always have been.”

“Enough about me, what about you Fox how did it go? The last thing I remember was you leaving, now you’re telling me it’s been over two weeks.”

“Yeah I’m officially dead and buried, it went perfectly then Jeremiah brought me back.”

“So you’re okay, no after affects or anything?”

“I’m fine Alex, I’d just expected to be with you afterwards that’s all. I came back to find you unconscious, then you’d just start screaming.”

“I think my whole life flashed before my eyes, everything imaginable, well I imagined it and worse.”

“It’s over now Alex and you came through it, I’m just glad we’re together again.”

“So am I Fox for now, it’s not totally over just yet.”

“Yeah true.”

“Four labs Fox, they have to be destroyed and the files recovered. We have to know about ourselves and what they did, it’s the only way we can have a future.”

“I know Alex; however, it will have to wait a few days.”

“Why will it?”

“You need to practice using your arm again, also you’ve been in bed for two weeks.”

“I’ll be fine, so don’t worry about me.”

“Alex I do worry; you have to accept that we’re in it together.”

“I just don’t want you worrying.”

“Right let me explain Alex, we are in this together and I’ll worry. My guess is that you’ll worry about me too.”

“You know I worry Fox.”

“So you accept that I do love you, we’re a team Alex in and out of bed. It’s either that or I might as well leave now.”

“God I’m sorry, yes Fox we’re in this together in and out of bed as you put it. I’m just so tired, it feels like I’ve been in hell for the past two weeks.”

“Judging by your screams I’d say you were in hell, that’s why you need a few days Alex.”

“We have things to do Fox, I’ll be fine once I’m up and moving.”

“Right Alex as your lover partner and friend, do it for me then and not yourself. I’ll even let you carry on calling me Fox if you want.”

“Fine, I guess it will also give us some time together, plus I like calling you Fox.”

“Yeah we might as well make the most of our time together, soon we’ll be back fighting the war.”

We spent the next couple of days together, things were good apart from the nightmares. I’d spent both nights waking up screaming, everyone was trying to cut my arm off again.

Fox was good and put up with me, however things needed to move on and we had plans to make. We worked hard and made all the necessary plans, we planned for the next two labs we were going to take out.

We’d planned to hit them only a day apart, if all went well it would end soon. Tomorrow morning we’d pack up enough stuff for two days, we wouldn’t be coming home until the next two labs were brought down.

We would sleep in the car, or maybe find a cheap motel for one night. This would be our last night together for now, we just didn’t want it to be our last together permanently. I felt so alone, yet here was Fox trying his hardest to make me happy. I was withdrawn and quiet, I also knew the lack of sleep wasn’t helping. 

“Alex are you okay?”

“Yeah just tired Fox.”

“Why don’t you take a sleeping pill; it might help a bit babe.”

“Because I’m too scared to sleep.”

“I will be here for you Alex; you need to be wide awake come tomorrow morning.”

“Please, Fox I’m trying so just drop it.”

“Fine okay Alex I’ll drop it for now, how about we go to bed and I’ll tire you out.”

“Yeah sounds good to me.”

“Come on then lover.”

Fox took me by the hand and led me towards the bedroom. 

“Strip Alex and lay down on your stomach, I plan on giving you a massage first babe.”

“It better not take long Fox.”

“Alex has anyone ever told you, shit you’re really impatient.”

“With a lover like you who wouldn’t be?”

“Flattery will get you everywhere babe.”

I lay down on the bed, I had to admit the massage felt good. He even massaged my neck and shoulders with oil, I swear it felt like I was floating. 

“Fox keep it up and I’ll be asleep soon.”

“It will do you good babe to get some sleep.”

“Fuck that Fox, I’m not off to sleep before the main event.”

“So you presume we’re having sex then.”

“No Fox dearest, I presumed you were going to make love to me.”

“Soon Babe just relax for now.”

I lay there just relaxing and it felt good, shit I nearly came as Fox slipped his fingers into my ass. 

“Jesus Fox, what are you trying to do to me?”

“Just getting you ready for me that’s all.”

“Okay don’t stop then.”

His fingers glided in and out from the oil, if he didn’t move I’d come. God, then he started kissing his way up my back and neck. That was when I felt the tip of his cock, then with one forward motion he was in me. 

“Oh fuck.”

“Yeah that’s what I’m doing Babe, I’m not going to stop until you come screaming.”

“Fuck that’s going to be about now then.”

“Go on the Alex, come for me Babe. I love you and love been inside you, God you’re so fuckin sexy.”

Within minutes I came all over the bed, the next thing I knew it was morning. 

“Take it you slept well Alex.”

“Yeah like a log, what did you do as I’ve never slept like that before.”

“I don’t want there to be any lies between us Babe.”

“Okay Fox that sounds a bit dubious.”

“I gave you a sleeping pill before we went to bed, all I wanted was for you to sleep without the nightmares.”

“Okay then.”

“What you’re not angry!”

“No, I’m not angry Fox, yeah it felt good having a good night’s sleep.”

“Yeah well we need to pack, once everything’s in the car we can leave.”

“Yeah let’s get this show on the road then.”

Soon we had everything we needed packed in the car, we kept the maps and information in the dashboard. It was going to take us four hours to reach the location, but it was a very quiet pleasant drive. I knew deep down we were both scared, scared that something might go wrong.

This perhaps would be the easiest out of them all, we only had to deal with four members of staff. We believed that Spender had been cleaning up, only two of the labs remained fully active. We finally parked a couple of fields away, we would be going on foot from here.

We grabbed our rucksacks and prepared for the hike, our guns now remained in reach until this was over. We managed to get to the rear of the lab, we then remained out of sight while we prepared.

Soon we were ready all dressed in black, we also had helmets and bulletproof vests. I locked the silencer into place and was ready, however, I lifted my helmet and went to Fox first.

 “Kiss me Fox.”

“Anytime Babe.”

We gave each other a lingering kiss, then we knew the time had come to move. 

“I love you Fox.”

“I love you too, come on babe let’s get it over with.”

“Yeah, then we can go back home.”

We placed the explosive on the rear door within seconds we had the door open and was inside. I went left and Fox went right, I searched a few of the rooms and soon found two workers.

Within seconds, both of them had a bullet in the head, two down two to go. I wondered how Fox was doing, in my search I came across another body.

This must be one Fox killed, at least I knew I was going in the right direction. I finally came across the last body, there stood my Fox just waiting for me.

“Fox you have the map; which way is it to the records office.”

“Right up here then we turn left.”

“Come on then let’s go.”

We took the next right then turned left, I went in and then started opening the filing cabinets. 

“Great all fuckin empty.”

“Do you think they were expecting us Alex?”

“No they’ve been cleaning up that’s all, don’t worry Fox we’re safe for now.”

“Come on then let’s get out of here.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

“Are you okay Alex?”

“Yeah, I just hate Spenders labs that's all.”

We went back the way we came, we then grabbed our rucksacks as we passed. I was just happy when we were back in the car, it was good to take off the vest and helmet. 

“What do you want to do Alex?"

“What do you mean?"

“Are we finding a motel or sleeping in the car?”

“Let’s just get away from here, we can call at a drive in and get some food.”

“Sounds good, I also need a coffee Babe.”

“Then I think we should find a remote location; we’d be better off sleeping in the car Fox.”

“Yeah, that’s okay with me.”

  
We found a McDonald's just a few miles away, after our food and coffee we moved on. We drove for a few more hours and it was getting dark, it was time to park up somewhere. Things were starting to catch up with us and we were tired, Fox drove off the main road until there was just darkness.

I knew this wasn’t good, shit it was too dark out here and like the silo. However, we had to remain off the grid and out of sight. 

“Alex, shit you don’t look too good babe.”

“I’m fine, just a bit nervous that’s all.”

“I suggest we grab a few hours’ sleep and move on.”

"Yeah we might as well drive to the other lab later tonight, the sooner it’s over the better.”

I was as nervous as hell, I was even finding it hard to sit still. Shit now I was even afraid to sleep, on the other hand I was also afraid to stay awake. 

“Alex let’s move to the backseat, at least that way I’ll be able to hold you.”

“I’d like that Fox.”

Fox held me in his arms until sleep claimed me, then the nightmares came once more. I had to have my body controlled by an alien, to have it in my head and unable to do anything. Then worse still having to puke it out.

I can’t take this anymore and just lay on the space ship, I’ve given up as I know there’s no way out this time. Time passes and I’m on the ground, the alien has gone and just left me to die.

Shit then they come, the peasants carrying a red-hot knife with them, fuck I know they want my arm once more. All I can hear in my head is screaming, then there’s a voice talking to me. 

“Alex I’m here, come on Babe wake up for me.”

Shit, I realize that I am the one screaming, God my lungs are on fire. 

“Shit, I’m sorry Fox.”

“Jesus Alex you shit me up, just keep taking a few deep breaths Babe.”

“I’m fine, I think it was just because of how dark it is out here.”

“I can move somewhere else if you want?”

“No I’m okay now as I’m awake, what time is it anyway.”

“It's four A.M Alex.”

“Let's just stay here for another hour, then we can move if that’s okay.”

“Yeah that’s fine, but you really need to see someone Alex about the nightmares.”

“Fox I’m fine, Hell I‘ve had nightmares for years.”

“What as bad as this.”

“I had them a lot after they cut my arm off, however they’d become far less frequent.”

“I take it that it’s the new arm that’s made them worse.”

“Yeah I keep dreaming that they want it back.”

“What the aliens.”

“No, the peasants, somehow they know I’ve got it back, they want it back to save me from the tests.”

“Come here Babe and let me hold you, I want you to promise me something Alex.”

“I will if I can.”

“If we get out of this alive…”

“You mean when we get out alive, not if we do.”

“Fine when we get out of this alive I want you to get help.”

“Fine okay Fox I promise.”

“Good now do I get a kiss.”

We spent the next hour holding each other, now the time had come to leave here and move on. We drove to the location and prepared ourselves once more, this time though there were nine members of staff here at the moment.

We’d known things would get harder, we estimated by the third lab they would be expecting us. I went one way and Fox the other, I managed to take out three within minutes. The fourth was in a room where the records were kept, I should have just shot the man, but I didn’t. 

“I want certain files now, that or you get a bullet.”

“Fine what files do you want, I’ll get you what you want just don’t shoot, please.”

“I want any files labelled Mulder or Krycek.”

I watched as he started searching the cabinets, I just wanted to make sure he didn’t pull out a gun. 

“Come on hurry up, you’re taking way too long.”  
“I’m going as fast as I can.”

I heard someone else approaching, I wasted no time as I shot the fourth man. 

“Right that will be you in a minute, you’re just taking the piss now.”

“Okay calm down.”

“Get out of my way, I might as well just look myself.”

I walked over and pulled draw after draw open, then I turned and shot the bastard in the head. Every fuckin cabinet was empty; this was the second lab they’d managed to clean up.

I now went in search of Fox, also there were four members of staff left alive. The next few rooms were totally empty, no furniture or anything. I then turned a corner and found another member of staff, however, this one had Fox at gunpoint. I held up my gun and aimed it at the man’s head. 

“Drop the fuckin gun or you’re dead.”

“No chance, do you really think you’ll get out of here alive.”

“Fox give me a number.”

“Three.”

At least Fox remembered what we’d discussed, if I asked for a number it meant how many had he killed. Well his three plus my five equalled eight, so this man here with the gun was the last one alive. Without even having to think about it I pulled the trigger, shit Fox looked terrified. 

“Fox.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay lover, he was the last one all nine are dead now.”

“Alex can we just find the records and get out of here.”

“There are no records Fox.”

“What do you mean?"

“I came across the records room; they’ve cleaned up everything it’s all gone.”

“Alex what happens if we don’t find the records?”

“I don’t know Fox; shit I really have no idea.”

“Come on let’s go, we will only worry about that if we have to.”

I was glad to be leaving here, I hated all the cold clinical labs. Spender’s labs only ever caused pain, as I knew and had first-hand experience. It brought back to many memories of what they did to me.

  
Once back at the car it was only ten A.M, we’d grab a few hours’ sleep then head home. Yet we found out we were too hyper to sleep, we decided to grab some coffee and food. 

“I don’t know about you Alex, but god I need a long shower when we get home.”

“Yeah me too, I also want good night’s sleep before we hit the next one.”

“Sounds good Alex.”

“It doesn’t matter when we do the next lab Fox, they’ll be waiting for us now. This is where things start becoming really risky, I don’t think we’ll even know how many people to expect or anything.”

“Alex I thought you knew how many worked at each one.”

“Yeah Fox I do; however, they might have called back up now.”

“So we will be walking in there blind?”

“Fox I can get Jeremiah to get me another partner, hell I could even do it myself. Believe me I’d be happier knowing you were safe.”

“Fuck you Alex, so it’s okay for me to have to worry about you and if you’ll survive.”

“Okay, sorry Fox I wasn’t thinking.”

“I told you before that we’re in this together, partners in every respect Babe.”

“God I love you Partner.”

“I love you Alex, it just means we will have to go in fighting and get out alive.”

“Sounds good, let’s just drink up and go home Fox.”

We finished the coffee and went back to the car, it was now my turn to do the driving.

 “Do you want to have a rest Alex before we set off.”

“No, I just want to get going.”

“Okay come on then babe let’s go home.”

It took us over six hours to finally get home, it was only eight P.M, but we were both exhausted. 

“I’ll go run a bath for us Babe.”

“Yeah okay, I thought you were just getting a quick shower.”

“No I just want a nice relaxing soak; you can join me if you want Babe.”

“Sounds good Fox, add some of that massage oil as it might help.”

“Okay I’ll shout you when it’s done.”

While Fox was running the bath I got some towels, I also emptied our bags out to repack tomorrow. I knew tomorrow would come far too fast, we would be back on the road once more.

I was starting to become depressed, I was scared of the nightmares and loosing Fox. For my sake and his I tried my hardest to act happy.

Fox soon called me, as soon as I finished I joined him in the bathroom. Fox was already inside the bath, I climbed in and he held me in his arms. 

“You’re trembling Alex, shit are you okay Babe.”

“Yeah, cold that’s all.”

“Come here I’ll warm you up.”

Fox reached around and found my cock, soon I was hard and in need of coming. 

“Shit Fox I’m going to come.”

“Good it might help you relax and sleep, I’d thought you might have been too tired to get hard.”

“Fox I’m laying on top of your gorgeous naked body, shit and you expect me not to get hard.”

“Hey, I have your gorgeous body pressing down on me Babe.”

“Yeah and I don’t even need to ask if you’re hard Fox, God I can feel you against me.”

“I’ll come later Alex so don’t worry about me.”

I felt so relaxed and just wanted to come, one of his hands played with my cock, his other hand played with my nipples. 

“Come for me Babe.”

“Shit Fox you won’t need to ask twice lover.”

I held off as long as I could, yet soon I was shooting warm come all over his hand. He then grabbed a cloth and proceeded to wash us both. 

“Alex are you still awake?”

“Yeah but only just.”

“Come on I think we need to turn the shower on, a quick rinse and we can get out of here.”

"Yeah as this water’s getting rather dirty and cold.”

Fox pulled the plug, once the bath was empty he turned the shower on. 

“Come on Alex let’s get in.”

Once in the shower we both washed, soon we were both clean and rinsed off. At that point I dropped down onto my knees, I then took Fox’s large erection in my mouth.

God the man tasted so good, I licked and sucked on him as he moaned with pleasure. 

“It’s your turn now lover, come for me Fox.”

“Anytime Babe.”

I sucked him off a few more times, within minutes he came inside my mouth. As soon as I’d swallowed his essence I licked him clean. 

“Jesus Alex I needed that.”

“Yeah me too lover, come on let’s get out of here we can shave in the morning Fox.”

“Okay come on then, a warm drink and we’ll call it a night Babe.”

“Sounds good to me lover.”

We both just grabbed a robe, it was pointless dressing as we slept naked anyway. 

“Go get the bed warm Alex, I’ll go and get the drinks.”

“Yeah okay Fox.”

I lay there in the bed thinking about things, it scared the hell out of me that Fox could have been shot today. However, I knew the risks would get worse, I just didn’t want to lose him now.

I’d had far more than I’d expected, Hell when I’d kidnapped him I’d expected him to kill me. Now Fox Mulder was my partner in more ways than one, I loved him and it scared the shit out of me. 

“You haven’t fallen to sleep on me have you Alex.”

“No, I was just thinking that’s all.”

“Come on I’ve made some hot chocolate, we’ll have a drink and then get some sleep. I know it’s hard but try not to think too much, you’ll only give yourself nightmares Babe.”

“Yeah true.”

“Come on drink up, no not that one Alex that’s mine.”

“I thought they were both the same.”

“Mine just had a bit more sugar that’s all.”

“So what’s the problem?"

“I’d just wanted that mug that’s all.”

“Have you put something in it Fox?"

“No.”

“Right, Fox I want you to swear to me, swear they are both the same.”

“Alex I swear they are the same I just liked that mug, if it bothers you drink mine then.”

“No you promised me they’re both the same, I trust you Fox.”

“Come on then drink it before it gets cold.”

I did trust Fox with all my heart, so I drank it without any more questions. 

“Fox will you hold me until I fall asleep.”

“Alex I would hold you all night if that’s what you wanted.”

“I bet you think I’m a right baby.”

“Alex you’ve suffered far more than more than anyone I know; I’m surprised you haven’t had a nervous breakdown.”

“I might have had without you Fox; I don’t think I’d survive the nightmares alone.”

“Well, I’m here for you always Babe.”

“I’ll always be here for you too Fox.”

“I know you will, I’m just glad we’re not wasting any more years fighting.”

My eyes were starting to get heavy, I knew that sleep was coming fast. All I wanted was for Fox to hold me, hopefully it would also keep the nightmares away. I felt Fox kiss me on the forehead. 

“Sweet dreams Babe, God I love you so much.”

I finally fell asleep dreaming about the man I loved so much.  
When morning came I felt really refreshed, no nightmares at all. 

“Did you sleep okay Alex.”

“Yeah no nightmares at all, I just dream of you Fox.”

“I’m glad you slept well.”

“You put something in the drink didn’t you.”

“Yes Alex, however you slept well so I’m not sorry.”

“Fine whatever.”

“Okay spill it Alex, you’re looking really pissed off now.”

“I’m not bothered about you putting something in my drink, I guess I’ll have to admit that the nightmares are a problem. I suppose it’s not just me it effects; shit I also keep you awake.”

“So you’re willing to take them until it’s sorted out.”

"Yeah Fox.”

“Alex I can tell that something’s still bothering you.”

“I trust you with my life Fox, yet you lied to me.”

“Why did I lie Alex?"

“I asked you to promise that there was nothing in the drink.”

“No Alex.”

“What do you mean, no.”

“You asked me to promise that both drinks were the same.”

“Yeah okay but you still lied.”

“Alex I never lied, I put a sleeping pill in each mug to make sure you took one. Hell I had a feeling you might try switching the mugs, I’d never lie to you Alex I promise.”

“So you took a sleeping pill just to make sure I had one.”

“Pretty much yeah, I just wanted you to have a good night's sleep.”

“God I love you so much Fox.”

“Likewise Babe, I also figured a good night’s sleep would also do me good.”

“So what’s the plan for today Fox, are we going to stay here or move on.”

“To be honest I think we need to hit the next lab.”

“Yeah true.”

“Come on Alex it’ll be over soon.”

“God I hope so.”

“Come on Babe let’s grab some breakfast.”

We ended up just having a coffee and some toast, neither one of us really had an appetite.

 “Alex how many people work in this lab?”

“Six that I know of, the others were all pretty empty. My guess is that one of the remaining two labs has what we want.”

“So they might have stepped up on security?”

“Either that or they know about Spender and don’t care anymore.”

“Do you think we could be that lucky Alex?”

“No, I believe everything will be under security, that or already destroyed.”

“Great let’s hope it’s not the latter.”

“Yeah me too, right Alex I’ll go and shave, you can clean up here."

“Yeah okay.”

Once Fox shaved and dressed it was my turn, he went to pack the bags for us both. Soon we had everything in the car once more, it was time to set off to the third lab.It would take us six hours to get us near the place, by the time we moved in we had darkness on our side.

We were glad that it was dark, they had security walking the perimeter of the grounds. When we killed them they were both armed, great there would be another two inside if I were correct.

 “Fox if they're doing it Spender’s way, well we’ll have at least two more carrying guns inside.”

“Any idea where they’ll be located?”

“One will be at the rear entrance, the other will be wherever the files are kept.”

“So which way do we go in?”  
“The rear Fox, it will still be a bit safer.”

“Yeah I guess we will surprise them.”

“Don’t be too sure Fox, keep a look out for any cameras.”

“Yeah okay, you be careful too Alex.”

“Come on then.”

I placed the explosives on the door, we then move back as I detonated them. True to form the other guard was there, however I took him out while he was stunned. 

“Fox if there’s only one it’s good.”

“How come?”

"It means they still have records here, that’s where the guard will be.”

“Okay, four staff and one guard let’s go babe.”

Fox quickly gave me a kiss and then we moved, it still amazed me how the staff never carried weapons. We split up once more, we knew we’d have to take them all out fast.

I found one in a lab testing some blood samples, within seconds he was on the ground dead. The second appeared to be busy writing in a folder, however he managed to see me coming. At least I was the one that had a gun, he appeared unarmed. 

“Well look who it is, Alex Krycek.”

“Hey, you should be thanking me for taking your boss out.”

“The work will go on Mr. Krycek.”

“Is that what you really believe.”

“You won’t manage to take us all out.”

“Hey don’t worry about it, I’ll just be happy to take you out for now.”

I raised my gun and pointed, he was the second of the staff to hit the floor. I had to search four more rooms, the fifth contained the records that I wanted.

I walked in to the room and started opening drawers, every single one was full to the brim. It looked like I’d just hit the jackpot, shit that was when I heard the click of a gun. 

“Turn around slowly Mr. Krycek.”

“How the fuck does everyone know who I am?”

“Because we’ve been waiting for you, we knew you’d come sooner or later.”

“Great.”

“Drop the gun and put your hands up.”

I dropped my gun on the floor and raised my arms, he aimed his gun at me then turned as he heard another voice. 

“Drop the gun and step away from him.”

“No chance, you won’t get away with this.”

Within a split second he pulled the trigger, the bullet hit me full on in the chest. I was on the ground as I heard Fox shouting, then another guard also hit the floor. 

“Shit Alex please be alright, come on Babe talk to me.”

“I’m just winded, the bullet hit the vest Fox. Just help me up Lover, God I bet it bruises quiet bad.”

“Fuck Alex I’m just glad that you’re alive, a few inches and it would have missed your vest.”

“I’m okay Fox try not to think about it, are the guards all dead now.”

“I believe that everyone’s dead now.”

“Come on Fox let’s just find the files we need, then get the hell out of here.”

Fox pulled me up and hugged me tight, he then grabbed a box and started filling it with files. 

“Alex have we got everything?”

“Yeah there’s nothing else, it appears they only have two files on you Fox.”

“What about you Alex?”

“There’s six here that all have my name on.”

“Come on then let's go.”

We managed to get back to the car, we just shoved the box and everything in the trunk. 

“Alex let me have a look at your chest.”

“I’m fine Fox.”

“Please, Alex just humour me then.”

"Fine."

I lifted my top up so Fox could look. 

“Shit it’s already starting to bruise Alex; I think we need to discuss how important the last lab is.”

“What do you mean?"

“I won’t lose you now Alex.”

“Fine Fox we will talk about it later, I’ll try and find out what’s there then we’ll see.”

“Yeah okay come on let’s just head home.”

I didn’t want Fox to spend his time worrying, however my chest hurt like hell and I felt sick. I lay back in the passenger seat and closed my eyes. 

“I’m tired Fox, are you okay driving for a while.”

“Yeah I’m fine you just rest Babe.”

I drifted in and out of sleep, fuck my chest hurt and it was hard to breathe. Everything was so dark, even the fuckin oil I spewed up.  
All I wanted was the alien out of me, the oil was making my breathing far worse as it flowed out of me.

I knew that I was going to die here alone, the screaming started and I couldn’t stop it, I could also hear someone else screaming in the distance.

“Jesus Christ Alex wake the fuck up, great just hang on Babe.”

“Fox is that you?"

“Yeah I’m here Babe, shit Alex I nearly crashed the fuckin car.”

“I’m sorry Fox, God I really am.”

“I’m not angry Alex, I was just scared that’s all. I swear you need help Babe before you get us both killed.”

“Yeah okay, I agree.”

“Are you okay now, or do you just want to stay here for a bit?”

“I’m fine Fox, all I want is to go home.”

“Okay come on then Babe.”

“I can drive Fox if you want, then that way you can have a rest.”

“I’m fine Alex, we’ll be home soon enough anyway.”

“If you’re really sure Fox.”

“Yeah, home and some sleep, the files can wait until morning.”

“Yeah true, at least we have them now.”

It took us another three hours to arrive at home, we went in taking the bags and boxes with us. 

“Right let’s just leave them packed until morning, you go shower Alex while I order some food.”

“Yeah Okay Lover.”

Fox ordered some Chinese food while I showered, I ached all over and my chest still hurt. The hot water was so soothing, I just wanted to grab some food then sleep. I was getting dry as Fox entered the bathroom, I just watched as he started undressing. 

“Alex listen for the door Babe while I shower, they said it would be about half an hour.”

“Yeah okay no problem, if it arrives I’ll dish it out ready.”

When Fox came into the room the food had already arrived, we just ate the meal in silence as we were exhausted. When we’d finished Fox grabbed my hand, he then pulled me up. 

“Come on babe let’s go to bed.”

“Gladly Lover, God I’m so bloody tired.”

“Do you want a sleeping pill babe?”

“I’m exhausted Fox and might stay asleep, however, I’m scared that I disturb you again.”

“Alex it’s up to you Babe.”

“Fine, I’ll try without if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah of course it’s okay Alex.”

We were in bed and soon both asleep, I felt like I’d ran a marathon. Fox was asleep in the cell with me, I knew they were coming for us. When they did come I was dragged out and pinned down, shit I couldn’t breathe because of the pain in my chest.

They were trying to cut my arm off once more, they wanted to save me from the tests and black oil. However, they kept telling me the black oil was in me, when I looked down the skin on my arm moved.

Jesus, there was something alive, it was crawling around and I could see it. I started to panic, then I started clawing at my own arm. 

“Get it out, for fucks sake just cut it off.”

“Alex.”

“I want it off now, please cut it off.

Shit, I woke to the hard slap across my face. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry Alex, shit I never meant to hit you like that.”

“It’s okay Fox, I understand and I’m glad you did.”  
“Alex you were trying to claw your own arm off; look at the mess you’ve made Babe.”

I looked down to find my arm scratched and bleeding, great Fox will be having me committed soon. 

“I’m sorry Fox.”

“Alex I’m fine, it’s you that needs help Babe.”

“I’ll understand if you want to leave Fox.”

“Why would I want to leave? all I want is for you to be able to sleep.”

“Soon Fox I swear I’ll deal with it.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Yeah Fox it’s a promise, can you just pass one of those pills for now.”

“Are you sure?"

  
“Yeah we both need some sleep; will you do something for me Fox?”

“Anything Babe.”

“Make love to me.”

“Of course, come on take the pill then I will.”

“Great, I’ll be asleep then.”

“Alex I promise that you will come before you fall asleep.”

“I’ll hold you to that Lover.”

I remembered Fox been so gentle with me, he entered me ever so slowly. As much as I was enjoying it I was drifting off to sleep. Fox started working faster so he could keep his promise, after I came I remembered very little, I couldn’t even remember Fox moving off me.

Morning soon came without any more nightmares, I woke to find Fox fast asleep beside me. I decided to leave him as he needed the sleep, I’d just go and grab a quick shower on my own.

My chest still hurt so it would be soothing, I went to grab the soap and remembered very little else after that. When I came too I was on the bathroom floor, I was also being held by Fox. 

“Hey you’re awake Babe, how do you feel now?”

“What happened Fox?”

“I think you must have fallen and hit your head.”

“Sure as hell feels like it.”

“Alex I think you need some help.”

“What do you mean by that.”

“Alex you hardly sleep at all; your balance has been off since you got the arm. Just to top it off you get a chest injury, also now a head injury.”

“I think you’re over reacting Fox, I’ll be fine so don’t worry.”

“I think you should stay here when we do the last lab, Jeramiah can get me some help.”

“No chance.”

“Alex please consider it at least.”

“Fox I’m going and that’s the end of it.”

“I see you’re still a stubborn bastard Alex.”

“You can argue all you want; however, I will be there Fox.”

“Great you’re not going to change your mind are you?”

“No so just drop it.”

“Fine then Alex, will you be willing to compromise then?”

“Why what are you planning now Fox?”

“We read the files and stay here for a couple of days, you can read the files in bed and get some rest.”

“So we have two days, yeah that sounds okay as long as you’re here with me.”

“Good there’s just one more condition.”

“Go on then Fox.”

“You get Jeramiah to give us a couple of men to help, that or neither of us are going.”

“God who put you in charge?”

“I became in charge when I took you as a lover, you’ve always been reckless Alex.”

“Gee thanks’ for that.”

“I mean it, I love you and won’t lose you now.”

“Fine I love you too, that’s the only reason I’m giving in to your demands Fox.”

“Hey, I’m just glad that you’re agreeing Babe, come on let’s get you moved to the bed.”

“Yeah why not, just remember I’m not an invalid though Fox.”

“Okay Lover I’ll try and remember that.”

Fox pulled me up and took me into the bedroom, why did I suddenly get this feeling I was going to be really bored. 

“There you go Babe; is there anything you want at all?”

“You might as well bring one of those boxes in here, also a coffee would be good too.”

“Fine I’ll be right back.”

I just lay there waiting for Fox, soon he returned with a box and hot coffee. 

“I’m off to check a few things out on the P.C, I’ll also make something for us both to eat.”

“Yeah okay sounds good Lover.”

I was left alone to make sense of everything. I started to read the files on myself, there were pages regarding my general health and fitness.

Also about my past, I then found a file marked Black Oil. Well I guessed it was a good place to start as any, I had to know as much as I could.

Alex Krycek came into contact unintentionally with the black oil, at the time of contact he was on the run from everyone. He was brought back to me via the alien inside him, the alien takes over the host until it no longer needs it.

Alex Krycek was locked inside a silo so the alien could re-join its ship. Blood was taken without his consent while he was passed out, he was then left there to die.

It appeared that the D.N.A was genetically changed; the alien had left some of its own D.N.A inside the host. There is no knowledge at present as to whether the host benefits, outcome decided upon was to leave Alex and to see if he lives or dies.

File update: It appears that the alien D.N.A did make a difference, the host seems immune to most illnesses and viruses. We have subjected the blood to many viruses, yet the blood remains totally healthy.

The advantages could be immense, a soldier immune to all diseases. We have thought of many ways to use the D.N.A, however we now have a shortage.

We used the last of the blood to inject into test subjects, both died within hours. Our conclusion is that the alien D.N.A bonds with the host only, it will become deadly to anyone else. 

“Alex anyone in there?"

“Sorry, I was miles away just reading.”

“Anything interesting Babe?”

“You might want to read your own file Fox; it relates to the tests Spender carried out.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“Fox I’m scared that I might not be human anymore.”

“Hey, what brought this on.”

“Read the file Fox then we’ll talk.”

I went for a shower and left him alone, when I returned Fox was still sat on the bed. 

“I’ve nothing else to do Alex, I thought I might just stay in here with you.”

“I’d like that Fox; did you manage to read the file?”

“Yeah I believe you’re still human Babe, the alien has left a residue behind to protect the host. Maybe it sees it as a future host should it need one.”

“Fuck that, once was enough with that in me.”

“Calm down Babe, come on let’s read some more.”

I opened the next file that bore my name on it, it appears that Alex Krycek managed to survive the silo, we have managed to obtain some of his blood from Russian comrades.

He left one prison for another, he is now in a Russian gulag with Fox Mulder. It appeared that he was later to lose his arm, such a waste the tissue just burnt and destroyed.

We would have given anything to have the arm, we’d have been able to do so many more tests. We have tried using the blood in an unborn fetus, even in the Mother and still nothing survives. Maybe what we lack is genetic tissue, however, Alex Krycek is out of reach at present.

All tests to be cancelled until further notice.

Shit I couldn’t believe that Spender would do that, or that he would also have used my arm if possible. So far he’d been unsuccessful, however I knew the file was at least three years out of date. Shit now I was scared about reading the more recent ones, or just what I might find. 

“How’s it going Fox?”

“Apparently I’m the same as you Alex.”

"Like me how?”

“After the trip to Tunguska, I was tested on with the black oil. I’m immune to most things just like you are.”

“Well I guess we won’t have to worry about getting sick then.”

“Yeah true, my files very basic after that entry. Usual stuff like tests and the mind wipes, that never worked anyway. You need to find out what’s in the rest of yours Alex, I can help you read them if you want.”

“Yeah okay there’s a file on egg implantation and cleaning, can you read that Fox while I carry on with this one.”

“Yeah okay Babe.”

Alex Krycek had been a hard man to pin down, however I finally had him where I wanted him. He’s been held in a prison in Tunisia, he will remain there until it’s safe to bring him back.

I have also arranged for Alex to have sexual intercourse daily, I want to check and see if he’s still immune. What better way than placing him in that environment, see if his body can fight of Aids and many other sexual diseases. 

“The fuckin bastard.”

“What’s wrong Alex?”

“Spender had me raped repeatedly, just to see if I would die of aids or anything else.”

“Human life seems to mean very little to him, Spender only cared about himself Alex and power.”

“Yeah true, did you learn anything at all Fox?”

"The eggs were stolen from female abductees, they put them in test tubes and ran many tests on them.”

“Such as?”

"It appears they were trying the tests with alien D.N.A, not the same as the black oil. They tried to impregnate the eggs but nothing happened, they also learnt how to clean the eggs.”

“What the hell does that mean Fox.”

“They learnt how to extract most of the human D.N.A from the eggs, sort of like making the egg blank to start again with.”

“So he tried messing with alien D.N.A then.”

“Yeah but without any success.”

“Thank God it was unsuccessful; could you have imagined Fox if it had worked.”

“I don’t think I want to thank you.”

“Come on Fox we can read a bit more then call it a day, we have all day tomorrow to read the rest.”

“Yeah okay Babe.”

I just went back to reading the file on myself. My health has now become an issue; I think the time has come to bring Alex Krycek back.

The tests must go on before I myself die, I will arrange for him to be brought back straight away. On arrival Alex appeared to be rather battered and dirty, he was to be cleaned up so testing could start.

Once cleaned up even with the loss of his arm, Alex Krycek was still gorgeous. I knew he was the perfect test subject in every way. 

“Fox I’m calling it a day; I’ve read enough for now.”

“Yeah okay, how far have you got Alex?”

“I’ve just been brought back from Tunisia and cleaned up, I’m not ready tonight to face what he did to me.”

“That’s understandable Babe.”

“Did you learn anything else Fox?”

“Spender managed to get hold of some black oil, apparently it came from Marita Covaralubis.”

  
“Tunguska, after I came back to New York she stole the boy.”

“What boy?"

“He was infected and she stole him, however that’s a story for another day Fox. Right, any way you said Spender got it, so what did he do with the black oil?”

“Yeah, he used it to try fertilizing one of the eggs.”

“Did it work?”

“The fertilization worked, however they’d learnt how to speed up the pregnancy. The baby was growing fast, according to the records it would take just four months.”

“So where’s the baby now?”

“It died before it became completely developed, it appears they had no idea why.”

“I know it sounds awful Fox, however I’m glad it never survived.”

“Me too Alex.”

I leant forward and gave Fox a long kiss. 

“God I love you.”

“I love you too Alex. Tell you what I’ll make some soup, do you want to try contacting Jeremiah.”

By the time Fox returned I’d finished my conversation, Jeremiah was willing to help after I’d explained Fox’s concern. 

“So Alex what did he say?”

  
“He will supply us with two other people to help, they will meet us there. We will then raid the lab together, then we’ll go our separate ways again.”

“Did Jeremiah say when.”

“Yeah day after tomorrow at six P.M, we will need to leave here at dinnertime.”

“So we have one more full day then Babe.”

“Yeah I told him you were concerned about my health.”

We ate the soup together and relaxed for the evening. 

“What do you fancy doing Alex?”

“Such as?”

“We could go and watch a movie or some T.V, or we could always stay here.”

“It’s late now anyway, I’d rather just stay in bed with you Fox.”

“Your wish is my command gorgeous.”

“Do you know that’s what Spender called me.”

“What?”

“In the files, Spender claims that I’m gorgeous.”

“You are gorgeous Alex; hell I can’t fault his opinion there.”

“Yeah it just gives me the creeps that’s all.”

“Come on babe, I’ll help take your mind off him.”

“Come on then lover.”

“What would you like Alex?"

“I want you to remove all your clothes Fox, then I want you to lay on the bed.”

“Yeah okay is that it?”

“For now yeah.”

I watched as Fox revealed more and more of his gorgeous body, God and to think he was all mine. As soon as he was on the bed naked I moved, first however I removed all my own clothes.

I then went and lay beside him on the bed, I then started kissing his mouth then his neck. While he was distracted my hand found his hard erection. 

“I see you’re ready for me lover.”

“Alex I’m always ready for you.”

“Good you had better be, also I had better be the only one.”

" You're truly enough for anyone.”

“Well keep it that way.”

I crawled down the bed until my mouth found his groin, God the man tasted so fuckin good. I sucked hard then gentle, I then started to lick the tip of his cock. I could already taste the pre cum, I knew by the noises he was getting desperate. 

“Make me come Alex.”

“I want you to come inside me Lover.”

“Roll over then.”

“No, stay there Fox.”

I grabbed the lube and put plenty on his cock, I then straddled him. Once I was in the correct position I lowered myself down, the feeling of him filling me was amazing, I knew I wouldn’t last long.

“Come for me Alex.”

“I have every intention of coming don’t worry.”

I reached around and grabbed my own cock within seconds I came all over Fox’s chest. As I came I also forced my lover to come too. 

“God Alex I needed that.”

“Yeah me too lover.”

“Let’s clean up and get some sleep Alex, do you want any pills.”

“No I’ll try without tonight; I don’t want to become too dependent on them. We’ll be at home all day tomorrow anyway, just in case I don’t sleep that is.”

“Yeah, true Alex.”

Soon we showered and were both in bed fast asleep. I woke up later screaming, shit he had his hands all over me. 

“Get the fuck off me, don’t you dare touch me again.”

“Alex it’s me Fox, come on babe you’re safe now.”

“Thank fuck for that, shit that was a bad nightmare Fox.”

“Do you want to talk about it Babe?”

“God I was back in that lab naked, then Spender turned up. He forced himself on me, he also just kept saying I was gorgeous.”

"Yeah defiantly too much reading for you today Babe.”

“Yeah come on let’s try going back to sleep Fox.”

I finally heard Fox’s breathing change, at least he’d managed to fall back asleep. I felt bad for him, every night he had his sleep disturbed because of me.

I lay there just thinking about life, also how fucked up mine had been. I had to wonder if the pain would ever end, I just wanted to move on and be happy.

I started to fall asleep wondering what tomorrow would bring, well time would tell soon enough I guess. The next morning, I decided on a soak in the bath, at least my chest wasn’t as sore. I knew that I was trying to stall, however I’d need to read the files before tomorrow. 

“Right Fox I need to get this over with.”

“What do you want me to do babe?”

“I have a couple of things for you to research, it’s regarding D.N.A and cloning.”

“Yeah okay just write it all down, I’ll go and turn the computer on and make a start.”

“Yeah okay.”

Great I started the file where I’d left off, myself back from Tunisia and in that lab.

Alex was brought back and cleaned up, all blood tests revealed him to be disease free as expected. We knew that the blood had proved useless before, maybe we were going about it all the wrong way.  
I ordered the Doctor to give Alex an internal, we would try the old fashioned way using sperm. Day one Alex refused to supply us with a sample, the Doctor had tried natural resources without any luck.

Day two after trying yet again, it appeared that Alex had an agenda of his own. He now knew we wanted the sample, however he’d proceeded to ejaculate previously.

My orders were to keep him strapped down until the following morning, it was to be his punishment for previous actions. I then sent the good Doctor something to help Alex along, we’d already had one casualty and this had gone on long enough.

Alex appeared horrified when he saw the item, little did he know every action was being recorded. He screamed and cursed, however he was powerless to stop what was about to happen to him.

At that point he screamed even more, he then threatened that he’d kill everyone in the room. I believe the Doctor took great pleasure in his job, he also seemed to take pleasure as he rammed the vibrator in deep.

To start with we’d planned to take just a couple of samples, however after Alex’s behaviour I decided he’d suffer some more. We now had the sperm and some blank eggs. This was the last chance we would have at the project, if this failed there’d be no other way.

There was one other candidate as I had the sperm and D.N.A to try, however, I didn’t want my son to be used unless we had proof it worked. Yet I also gave the order to get his samples out of deep freeze, I know that my time is running out fast. This way it will double the odds, we will be testing two instead of one.  
Shit I felt sick, how could I tell Fox that they had his D.N.A and want they planned to do with it. I decided that I’d finish what I was reading at the moment, then I would discuss things with Fox.

Both samples appear to have resulted in conception, they will need to monitor regularly for any change due to the loss of the embryo before delivery. Once we got this far time would be crucial, we moved both embryos to their new incubator and now must wait.

The incubators were chosen with great care, age and health played a part in the selective program. The women selected will remain unconscious throughout, they will then be returned unharmed.

Fuck I realized that they were using the women, using them as human incubators. They would be returned later on; they would just believe that they’d been abducted. I always thought Spender was sick, however, everything just kept getting even worse.

I’d been with Fox a few months now and was happy, I just wanted everything to be finished and laid to rest. Shit there was only one more entry then the pages were blank. I read the last entry hoping it would give some answers.

It appears that the baby created from my son’s D.N.A is not growing or developing properly. The outcome looks like both pregnancies will be terminated, it seems highly unlikely that the black oil can survive apart from the natural host.

Great so that was the end of the records, I was going mad and knew I needed to talk to Fox. 

“Fox how did you get on lover?”  
“Fine it appears that testing has been done on the cleaned eggs, however, nothing has ever worked in the past.”

“Yeah okay then.”

“What about you Alex, did you learn anything new.?”

“More than I wanted to know Fox, some of it concerns you too.”

“Me, how Alex?"

“It appears that Spender had tried many ways fuse my D.N.A to an egg, however he decided to try it the old fashioned way. He would use my sperm with a blank egg, basically if it had worked the baby would have only my D.N.A.”

“So in reality it would be like having a single parent.”

“Yeah Fox, Spender wants the baby to carry the black oil. It appears that he just wanted to create his own Army of super soldiers.

“Shit do you know if he succeeded Alex?”

“I’m getting to that Fox, he was using women as human incubators and keeping them in a coma. He would then return them; they would believe they were abductees.

The last entry stated that the embryo created were sick and would need to be terminated, so it looks like the whole program failed.”

“So it’s possible the rest of the records are at the last lab.”

“Yeah it’s possible, Spender always liked to protect what he saw as his.”

“We’d better check the place thoroughly before we torch it Alex.”

“Yeah, it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Very true Babe, shit I just thought about what you’ve said and it can’t be right.”

“He must have found a way to get what he wanted Fox, maybe it was one of the times you had your mind wiped.”

“Shit I’d never thought of that, so you mean they abused me to get what they wanted.”

“It looks like that, God I’m sorry Fox.”

“It’s not your fault Alex.”

“I know, I’m still sorry that this had to happen to you.”

“Jesus it’s nothing compared to what you have suffered Babe.”

“I suggest we just grab all the files we can and get the hell out.”

“Yeah, good idea Alex.”

“I think I’ll be needing one of those sleeping pills tonight, shit I’ll be having nightmares tonight after reading all that.”

“I’m not surprised Alex.”

“We need a good night’s sleep anyway Lover.”

“Alex how about we pack now, do all the boring stuff like shave and that now. Then we can have an early night Babe, just me and you.”

“Yeah sounds like a good idea.”

“I mean an early night to sleep Alex.”

“Fine whatever.”

“Listen we get a good night’s sleep, then tomorrow we can spend the morning in bed.”

“Yeah okay, I can live with that.”

Soon we had the car all packed, we also put our phones back on charge. We also got all the maps and paperwork ready. Soon we were both showered and in bed, I took the sleeping pill and dreamt of a morning in bed with Fox.

When morning came I felt so sick, just the thought of what lay ahead for us both, I was scared in case it all went to Hell. 

“Fox promise me you’ll concentrate on getting yourself out, if anything goes wrong just leave me behind.”

“It’s pointless saying that Alex, there’s no way I’ll be leaving without you.”

“Yeah okay same here, I need to contact Jeremiah before we leave.”

“What for?"

“He was going to try and find out how many people we might find there.”

“Yeah it would be better if we had some idea, at least we’d know what we were up against.”

“Fine Fox you can make some coffee, I’ll try and contact Jeremiah.”

“Yeah okay, just try not to get too stressed out Alex.”

“Easier said than done Lover.”

As soon as Fox left I made contact with Jeramiah, he told me a few things we could expect. Even he wasn’t sure if anything had been changed, great I’d let Fox know what we were doing. I might as well explain over coffee as we’d have to leave soon. 

“How did you get on Alex.”

“Jeramiah told me everything he knows, there is also a possibility that some things might have changed. Apparently this is the lab where they keep the abductees, at present there is only one there. However, the abductee gave birth to twins just a week ago, Jeramiah has no idea if they are alien or human.”

“So this means we will defiantly have to go in carefully then.”

“There will also be four extra guards, along with six medical staff. The woman will be housed in the medical bay, as will her two babies.”

“What are we expected to do if they use them as leverage, shit I didn’t expect innocent victims especially babies.”

“We are to protect ourselves at all costs.”

“What even if they get in the way?”

“That’s what Jeremiah said, hopefully it won’t come to that.”

“God Alex I hope not.”

“We have at least ten to take out any way we want, and three to try and save Fox.”

“Great, is that all.”

“Jeremiah also expects us to recover any files, once that’s done we’re meant to torch the place.”

“I think we need to get ready don’t you Babe, come on Alex let’s get this show on the road.”

“How can you be so calm Fox.”

“It’s a cover Babe, shit I’m as nervous as hell underneath.”

“Yeah me too.”

We both got ready and soon it was time to leave, I looked around wondering if it might be the last time. The journey went smooth enough, however that meant we arrived over two hours early. 

“We might as well just rest up Alex.”

“Yeah true, there’s not a lot more we can do anyway.”

“We can always talk Babe.”

“What do you want to talk about Fox?”

“I know this is sudden Alex, I was in North Dakota at that silo. If I’d known you were there I’d have come back for you, also in Russia I wanted to believe you more than anything.”

“I know Fox, It’s not like I was ever that easy to understand, or even get on with.”

“Then there was the day you came to my apartment; you gave me back my faith Alex.”

“Fox I would have done anything for you.”

“You also kissed me on the cheek, I always wondered why you did that.”

“I did it because I wanted to, no ulterior motive or anything else. I saw an opportunity and I just took it.”

“I could have shot you Alex, hell you handed me my loaded gun.”

“But you didn’t shoot me did you Fox, I always thought there was something between us.”

“Yeah we’ve been through a lot together Alex.”

 

“Yeah and so far we’ve survived it all, let’s not change that now Lover.”

“Great I’ve got a bit side tracked here, back to what I was saying. I know that everything’s happened fast, Alex I’m trying to ask you something and it’s very hard.”

“Just ask me Lover as I won’t bite, well only if you want me to that is.”

“Very funny. I want to ask you if all goes well here.... God Alex will you marry me?”

“Shit, I’d not been expecting that.”

“I take it that’s a no then.”

“It’s a shock that’s all, a good shock I might add.”

“Maybe it’s too soon, just forget I asked you Alex.”

“I can’t just forget something like that Fox, if the offer still stands the answer is yes.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes Fox, I mean it with all my heart Lover.”

“I won’t forget Alex.”

“I hope you don’t.”

We shared a very passionate kiss, then Fox told me it was time to get ready. We had bullet proof vests once more, along with full riot gear.

We got a call confirming the other two were in position, they were going to blow the front door, myself and Fox would enter at the rear. We got in position and waited, once it hit an exact time we

blew the doors.

We split up, the other group would also be doing the same. We just wanted to get in and out as fast as possible. Within minutes I’d managed to kill four of them, I then found my way to the medical bay.

  
Great, I found two very small babies alive, but there was no sign of the Mother. Shit, I knew our information wasn’t totally up to date, I had to wonder if she’d died or just been returned.

I rounded a corner and went towards another room, I noticed that there was a member of staff inside. I opened the door really slow and entered, it was then that I was grabbed from behind. 

“We’ve been expecting you Alex.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“Just think of me as your worst nightmare.”

“Yeah right.”

“You two bring him over here, then get him strapped down.”

Great they had been waiting all along, they’d even had the goons ready and in position. I knew that I couldn’t fight them both when they’d first grabbed me I’d also dropped my gun. 

“Strap me down then what? You won’t get away with this you know.”

“You think what you want, however, Mr. Krycek I have big plans for you.”

I was dragged over towards a table, soon I found myself strapped down very securely. That was when the Doctor came over to me, shit I then noticed the scissors he held in his hand. 

“Don’t worry yourself just yet Mr. Krycek, the scissors are just to remove your clothes that’s all. We will be able to work far more efficiently without them.”

There wasn’t a damn thing I could do as they removed my clothes, soon I lay on the table totally naked. Jesus, I was starting to have panic attacks again, all I could think about was before. All the things that had happened to me last time I was strapped down; shit things were starting to look bad.

“What are you planning on doing to me.”

“All in good time Mr. Krycek, I thought we could have some pleasure before the pain.”

“Don’t you dare touch me.”

“Normally I wouldn’t want to touch someone in your position, however, I have it on good authority that your disease free and always will be.”

“Fox will kill you if you touch me.”

“You have too much faith in Mr. Mulder.”

The Doctor pulled on a couple of levers, it resulted in my legs been pulled up high. I was now totally exposed to the Doctor, he then started running his hand over my backside.

Shit I really felt sick as he touched me. I nearly screamed as his dry finger entered my ass, I tried to block it out and not think about what was coming.

He worked his finger in and out of my backside while he used his other hand to get himself hard. I prayed that he planned to just jerk off, however my prayers were not to be answered. He stood between my legs and positioned his cock, he then used nothing as he forced himself in dry.

I couldn’t help screaming out, while he on the other hand just laughed.

 “You think this hurts, believe me this is nothing compared to what you have coming.”

“I don’t care, just finish it.”

“You’re not getting off that easy.”

He just carried on forcing himself in and out, then he grabbed hold of my own cock. 

“Come for me, show me just what a slut you are.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Why should I when I’ve got you.”

Suddenly he started going faster, then I felt his cock pump his cum into my ass. Once he came he pulled out fast, shit I didn’t like the way he was looking at me at all. 

“This is for the smart mouth you have.”

Shit within seconds I felt him force his hand inside me, he worked it further and further as I screamed. Once he had his hand fully inside he clenched it, he then proceeded to fuck me with his fist.

The pain was horrendous, yet every time I blacked out someone slapped me hard, I was forced to suffer it all.  
Finally, he pulled fully out, he then just walked away to wash his hands. I lay there feeling rather detached from everything, I knew it was over now and everything had gone to hell.

Finally, the Doctor came back over to me, he just stood there at first then spoke. 

“Not so big and hard are you now.”

“Untie me then if that’s what you believe.”

“Sorry but we have plans for you.”

“Like what?"

“That would spoil the surprise.”

“You’re a bunch of fuckin monsters.”

“Soon you will see just what we are capable of.”

“Go to Hell.”

“One of you get over here, I want his hands taking from above his head. Actually you’d better both come over here.”

“What are you doing with me?”

“All in good time Mr. Krycek. I want you two to position his arms, I want him stretched out like he was on a cross.”

“Get the fuck away from me, just let me fuckin go you bastards.”

I was swearing and screaming as the Doctor got something, it was then that he came over with an electric saw. Fuck I felt like I was going to pass out, Jesus whatever he planned with that would be bad. 

  
“Well, this seems powerful enough for the job.”

“What the fuck are you going to do?”

“It will be okay, see the pain will only last until you bleed to death.”

“Stay away from me.”

“I don’t think it will take long for you to die, you see this time Mr. Krycek you will be losing both arms.”

Fuck no the first time had been bad enough, shit I knew once they started my life was over. 

“We will just lay some plastic sheeting and then we can proceed, it will be far easier afterwards to clean up.”

I watched as they placed the plastic sheeting under the table, I was unable to do anything but accept my fate. I was thankful that I’d had some time with Fox, also that we had finally put our differences aside. 

“Right Mr. Krycek we’re ready to begin, which arm should we start with.”

I closed my eyes not wanting to see the blade, all of a sudden I could hear voices and shooting. It was then that I felt something heavy hit my chest, it was also then I started screaming once more.

“Oh God Alex what have they done to you, can one of you two find something for him to wear.”

I felt the weight move from my chest, shit the Doctor was dead and fell to the floor. I felt Fox hold me in his arms and kiss me on the forehead. 

“Let’s get this blood of you Alex, they're all dead Babe and you’re safe. We just need to get you up and dressed so we can leave.”

Finally, Fox dressed me and made me stand up, he then led me over to a chair. 

“Alex can you understand me; do you know where you are?”

“Yeah I think so, God they wanted my arms, both of them.”

“I know Alex they’ve hurt you a lot, I’m here for you and will help you through this.”

“Did everything else go alright Fox.”

“Yeah we just need to move everything into the cars, do you think you can wait here Alex?”

“I’ll try, Fox please hurry up and come back.”

“I just need to put the files in the car, the other two can take the babies with them.”

“I couldn’t find the Mother Fox.”

“I know, don’t worry about that at the moment Babe.”

“Okay just hurry up then.”

“Yeah okay will do.”

Once I was on my own I started imagining stuff, shit the Doctor was alive once more. He grabbed his saw and wanted to carry on, I started screaming all over again. I really was starting to go mad, hell maybe I already was mad. I was still screaming when Fox returned sometime later. 

“Come on Alex let’s get you out of here, it won’t help if you remain any longer in this place.”

Soon I was sat huddled up in the car, I was then left there once more. The place had been searched fully, now they planned to burn it to the ground. Soon Fox was back and we were finally leaving here, I just wanted to get as far away as possible.

Once home Fox led me into the bathroom, he tried undressing me as I started screaming. 

“Alex your dirty Babe, do you want me to leave you alone to have a shower.”

“No Fox God I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for Babe.”

Soon Fox had the shower turned on for me, he also adjusted the temperature. 

“Alex can you manage?”

“Yeah I think so.”

My body ached yet I managed to undress, I then stepped into the hot shower. I was fine until I saw the pen marks on my arms, I hadn’t even realized the Doctor had put them there.

  
I held my two arms up and looked at them, then I started screaming and hitting the tiles. Fox was fully dressed when he came into the shower, he just stood there and held me tight. 

“Come on you’ll do for tonight, let’s just get you into bed Babe.”

“You won’t leave me will you Fox?”

“Of course not Alex.”

Once we were in bed Fox held me until sleep came, however I now had the material for lots of new nightmares. The cold sterile lab and the abuse, however this time they removed both of my arms while I screamed.

Yet when I woke up this time I wasn’t screaming, shit I couldn’t breathe at all. I knew that I was having a panic attack, yet as I turned over I realized I was alone.

I took deep breaths and slowed my breathing down, it was then that I heard Fox on the phone. 

“He suffered far worse than anyone, he needs some sort of help. Yes, he’s still having nightmares, they raped him and was about to cut his arms off. Yes, I think that he needs to be institutionalized for his own safety.”

I crept slowly back to bed, I didn’t want to hear that Fox no longer even wanted me. The saw came close to my arm, however they kept stopping and making me wait.

Suddenly it was dark and I was just left alone, however when they came back they decided to take them for real. No more pissing around and playing games, I couldn’t stop the screams no matter what. 

“Alex its okay, it’s all over and you’re safe now Babe.”

“Safe from them maybe, but what about you am I safe from you?”

“Alex I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Who were you talking to Fox?"

“When?”

“On the phone earlier.”

“Alex I haven’t even used the phone tonight; I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You were talking to someone about me.”

“I swear Alex that I have spoken with no one and we came straight home, I haven’t even spoke to Jeremiah yet.”

“Why are you lying to me Fox…”

“Shit Alex I’m telling you the truth, I don’t know how to make you believe me Babe.”

“Fine, I’ll check for myself.”

I went into the room and pressed redial, great I got the Chinese takeaway. I knew Fox had called them a couple of nights ago, I then checked the incoming calls. There were no incoming calls at all for today. I then had another idea. 

“Fox give me your mobile.”

“What?”

“Your mobile, I want to check it for myself.”

“Here knock yourself out, shit you’re worse than a jealous wife.”

I checked the phone to find no calls in or out, shit I knew what I had heard. I threw myself onto the bed and started crying, I was so fucked up. It was then that I felt the arms around me. 

“I’m so sorry Fox.”

“Hey it’s okay Babe, you must have just been dreaming Alex. You have been through so much today alone, come on let’s try and get some sleep.”

“I can’t sleep Fox, if I do they’ll come and take my arm again.”

“Alex you need to get some sleep Babe; you can’t stay awake indefinitely.”

“I’ll be okay Fox.”

“Just try and sleep, I’ll stay here right beside you and wake you if I have too.”

“Fine, I’ll try then.”

“That’s all I ask Alex.”

We must have fallen asleep, when I had another nightmare Fox remained asleep. I crept out of bed and went to the kitchen, I made a pot of coffee and took it into the room.

I sat down on the couch drinking coffee, I then just drank one cup after another. When Fox found me I was still just sat there on the couch, except now I just kept crying and sobbing. 

“Jesus Alex you need help Babe; you’re going to make yourself really ill.”

“If you don’t like the way I am just get out.”

“Is that what you really want Alex.”

“God I don’t know Fox; I just can’t stand anyone touching me.”

“The lack of sleep will make you more paranoid Alex, why don’t you speak to Jeremiah when he comes.”

“Because it’s my problem Fox, no one else’s.”

“Alex I thought we were in this together.”

“Were you the one who had a fist shoved up their ass, was you the one who nearly lost both arms. Yeah you see it’s my problem Fox.”

“It’s only your problem Alex if you want it to be, if you refuse help or to even let me in.”

“How can you even want to be near me Fox?”

“Because I love you Alex.”

“What still, even after all this?”

“Did you really think I’d just stop loving you Alex?”

“I don’t know, I’m dirty now Fox.”

“Alex stop thinking like that.”

“Why it’s true.”

“You need to snap out of this or get help, I don’t know how to deal with this Alex or how you feel.”

“Yeah cos I’m fucked up literally.”

“I need some space I’m off for a jog Alex, maybe been alone might do you some good.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You might find it’s even worse to deal with it alone.”

“Fuckin go then Fox see if I care.”

I watched Fox go into the bedroom, maybe he really wasn’t going out after all. Within a few minutes he came out in his running gear, suddenly it hit me that I was going to be alone. I knew without Fox I was nothing, also there would be no point carrying on. 

“Fox?”

“What?”

“Are you coming back?"

“God yes of course I’m coming back, what makes you think I won’t babe.”

“I just didn’t think you’d want to be here with me.”

“I’ll admit that I’m finding it hard, but I’m not just going to leave the man I love.”

“Okay Fox if you’re sure.”

“Yes Alex I am sure; will you be okay for half an hour.”

“Yeah you go for your run.”

“I’ll be back soon Babe so try not to worry.”

Suddenly I found myself alone once more, over an hour later and I was still also on my own. Great maybe Fox wasn’t coming back after all. I went into the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of vodka, fuck them all as I didn’t need any of them.

I never even bothered with a glass, I just knocked back most of the bottle. Later I heard the main door, then I saw Fox walk in. 

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Someone injured their ankle, I just helped them get to the hospital that’s all.”

“I bet you were trying to decide what to do, leave me or come back.”

“I’m here Alex, shit what more do you want.”

“Well if you’re offering, you could always fuck me Fox.”

“Shit you’ve been drinking Alex, how much have you had?"

“Enough.”

“Come on let’s go to bed then, I can’t be bothered arguing with you.”

“Why do you want to go to bed?”

“Because you just asked me to fuck you.”

“Oh come on then Lover.”

Shit I must have been out the minute my head hit the pillow, well at least the vodka had kept the nightmares away. 

“How are you feeling this morning Alex?”

“My head hurts.”

“I’m not surprised the amount you drank.”

“Well, at least I know what to do now on a night.”

“You can’t get drunk every night Alex.”

“Why can’t I?"

“Shit Alex you will make yourself ill.”

“Hey at least I’ll get some sleep, I seemed to fall asleep fast last night.”

“Yeah, the minute your head hit the pillow.”

“You tricked me Fox.”

“What do you mean?”

“You knew I’d fall asleep, shit I just realized why you did it.”

“Why I did what?”

“You never wanted to have sex with me did you, because you know I’m dirty now.”

“Alex I took you to bed because you needed some sleep, when you recover I promise that I’ll make love to you.”

“Yeah whatever, shit you make it sound like I’m really sick.”

“Alex you are sick Babe; you just need to admit it to yourself.”

“Fine think what you want.”

“Alex there’s no magic solution, you won’t just snap out of it. I hope you know that.”

“I know that, shit what went wrong Fox. I finally thought everything was going all right, yet here I am back in the fuckin gutter.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that Alex. We’ve dealt with everything now, so it’s time to move on together.”  
“I’m scum and deserve all I get.”

  
I stormed off into the kitchen, I then started opening all the cupboards. 

“Where are the sleeping pills Fox.”

“Top cupboard why?”

“Because I ‘m still tired, I want to get some more sleep before Jeremiah arrives.”

“Yeah okay you only need one, shit Alex I said one.”

“I’m sure two won’t harm me Fox.”

“Do you want me to come and lay with you.”

“No I’ll be fine Fox.”

“Okay if you’re sure.”

I went into the bedroom and waited for the pills to work, soon I woke to hear voices coming from the other room. Well at least the pills had worked, I’d managed to get a few more hours’ nightmare free.

 I opened the door slightly, I wasn’t going to make an idiot of myself. Shit last time I’d accused Fox of been on the phone, yet it had been me dreaming the whole thing.

This time however it wasn’t my imagination, Fox was out there talking to Jeremiah. I could also hear Fox raising his voice at times, I decided to listen a while before showing myself. 

“Jeremiah Alex is sick; you can’t give him news like that.”

“Alex has a right to know everything.”

“He will in time, he needs to accept what’s happened to himself first.”

“We can deal with the nightmares.”

“What do you mean?”

“We can take away part of his memory, the parts that are storing all that’s happened recently.”

“What just the bad stuff?”

“He might also forget a few other things too.”

“Like what?”

“Like what has happened between those events.”

“Jesus he might even forget about me.”

“Well it would have to be up to Alex, he would have to agree to me doing it to him.”

“Alex won’t agree.”

“Then there’s nothing I can do; I already went behind his back regarding his arm.”

“Yeah true, he was really pissed off about that.”

“Alex has been one of our best fighters in this battle, however, I won’t hurt him.”

“Very well, I’ll go see if he’s awake yet.”

I quickly got back into bed, I then just pretended to be asleep. 

“Alex wake up Babe it’s me.”

“What time is it Fox?"

“It’s just after ten, Jeremiah's been here a while, however he needs to get going Alex.”

“Yeah okay Fox.”

“Do you want to talk to him before he leaves?”

“Do I need too?”

“It’s up to you Babe.”

“Fine, I’ll see what he has to say then.”

I grabbed a robe and went into the other room, Jeremiah was sat on the couch waiting. 

“How are you doing Alex?”

“Fine.”

“Fox said that you’ve been ill.”

“Just a few nightmares that’s all.”

“Do you want me to help you?”

“No and this time I mean it, I swear here and now this relationship will end if you do.”

“That’s fine Alex, I just wanted to know that’s all.”

“What like how you listened to me before, I said no to the fuckin arm yet I got it.”

“You needed that to help you Alex.”

“Are you taking the fuckin piss.”

“Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Well the fuckin arm didn’t help did it, it didn’t stop them from raping me and almost cutting my arm off again.”

“Alex calm down Babe, Jeremiah's trying to help you.”

“Like I told you before Fox, I don’t need any help.”

"Please Alex.”

“Fuck you both.”

I went into the kitchen, then I walked over to the bedroom. 

“I’m off back to bed so leave me the hell alone.”

All I heard as I shut the door was Fox, he was apologizing to Jeremiah on my behalf.

“I told you he’s not ready, he’s not handling any of this at all.”

“I’m sorry that there’s nothing more I can do, maybe he just needs some time Fox.”

“Yeah maybe.”

I heard Fox saying goodbye, then he came into the bedroom to speak with me. 

“Alex talk to me.”

“What about?”

“Your behaviour for one, shit he was only trying to help you.”

“I told you earlier Fox, I don’t need his help or yours.”

“We think you do.”

“Just piss off, go for a fuckin run or something.”

“You’ll say that one day Alex and I won’t come back.”

“Good.”  
“Is that what you want Alex?”

“Whatever just get out of my sight?”

As soon as I heard him leave I moved, I went into the bottom drawer and retrieved the bottle. That was what I’d gone to the kitchen for earlier, now I should just be able to sleep and forget everything.

  
I went and ran a warm bath, as soon as it was ready I got in, I also took the vodka with me. It felt so warm and soothing, however as I relaxed my brain went into overdrive. It had a habit of doing that when I was relaxed, shit the horrors of everything returned once more.

I dragged myself from the warm bath, I then knocked back the rest of the vodka. I went back into the room to watch some television, soon I heard Fox entering. 

“How are you feeling Alex, I hope you’re in a better mood now.”

“Hey, it’s Fox, my gorgeous lover.”

“Alex you sound drunk.”

“I maybe had just a few.”

“Alex look at me now.”

“Why?"

“Shit, you’re fuckin drunk.”

“So what…”

“Just go and sober up Alex, you need to get over feeling sorry for yourself.”

“Is that what you think it is Fox, I’m just feeling sorry for myself.”

“Well, it looks that way.”

“Go fuck yourself Fox, I’m off to bed.”

“Alex don’t do this, please.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t keep shutting me out.”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Fine have it your way, I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”

“Good.”

I slammed the bedroom door shut and threw myself on the bed, within minutes I was out for the count. I woke up over an hour later, shit I felt really sick and drunk.

I found Fox fast asleep on the couch, I just headed towards the bathroom. Everything was going okay until I dropped the glass and it hit the sink and smashed to pieces. Before I even had the chance to react the door flew open, Fox didn’t look the slightest bit happy. 

“Alex it’s late just go to bed; I’ll clean it up in the morning.”

“I can do it.”

“What were you doing anyway?”

“Just getting a drink of water.”

“I’ll go and get you one if you want.”

“No, I’m okay now.”

Shit, I noticed that Fox was getting closer to me, which was when he suddenly grabbed me. I just closed my eyes to block him out, I also clenched my hand into a tight fist. 

“What have you got there Alex?”

“Nothing.”

"Don’t fuckin lie to me, I’m sick of all this bullshit.”

“Just get off me Fox.”

“Not until you show me what you’ve got.”

Fuck I wasn’t thinking as I lashed out, I smacked Fox straight in the mouth. He never said anything as he shoved me against the wall, he then started to bend my fingers back.

"You stupid fuckin idiot."

“Fox.”

“Don’t Alex, I don’t want any more of your pathetic excuses.”

“Please listen to me Fox.”

“No it’s gone beyond that now, you were going to take four sleeping pills. You were going to take them on top of all the vodka you drank, plus you took two pills earlier on.”

“Well at least I’d have slept, then I wouldn’t have to put up with you.”

“For fucks sake just grow up Alex.”

“Make me, sorry I forgot you’re not man enough are you Fox.”

“I’ll show you, Alex, just how much of a man I am.”

Shit Fox grabbed me hard and dragged me into the bedroom, he then shoved me down onto the bed. I was just about to get up, but Fox was fast, he opened the drawer and pulled out the cuffs. 

“Don’t you fuckin dare, I’m warning you Fox.”

“You’re warning me, yeah right like you’re in any condition to stop me.”

Fox grabbed my wrists and cuffed them together, I started screaming as it brought back too many memories. Every time I was restrained something bad always happened to me. 

“So what are you going to do with me, maybe you’re really as bad as the rest of them.”

“What’s that supposed to mean Alex?”

“Well, I guess that you’re either going to beat me, or even rape me.”

“I don’t plan on touching you at all Alex, you’re pathetic, plus a real man knows when to walk away.”

“Why am I the one who’s pathetic.”

“Take a look in the mirror Alex, shit and to think I wanted to marry you.”

God after all that had happened to me, shit I’d forgotten that Fox had even asked me. 

“Maybe you got lucky then Fox.”

“You don’t get it do you, I love you Alex. I just have so much to deal with at the moment and it’s hard.”

“Like what?”

“In the morning I have to go see Jeremiah.”

“Why can’t he just come here?”

“He doesn’t want to be around you at the moment, I can’t say I blame him either.”

“What so I’m not even going with you?”

“No Alex.”

“Great so after everything I’ve done, shit he’s just cutting me off.”

“I’m sorry Alex, but that’s up to Jeremiah.”

“Great thanks for all the support, I get fuckin abused raped and nearly lose my arm and for what?”

“Alex he’s not cutting you off, he just needs some space from you. He’s a healer and if he’s near you he will feel compelled to heal you. You said Alex that you don’t want him to heal you, so he’s just staying away for now.”

“Will you tell me what you learn Fox?”

“Of course I will, I told you that we’re in this together.”

“Yeah I’m surprised you’ve put up with me for this long.”

“I put up with you because I love you, I just want it to be back how it was Alex.”

“I know Fox; I just don’t know if I’m capable anymore. Shit, I hit you and look at your mouth now.”

“Alex you were scared and just lashed out, I don’t hate you because of it.”

“Please don’t leave me cuffed all night Fox.”

“You tell me what you want then, I’m scared to leave you alone Alex.”

“Come to bed Fox, I want you to make love to me.”

“Alex do you think that you’re physically ready?”

“I don’t care Fox; please will you do it.”

“Right Alex you hear me out first.”

“Like I have a choice.”

“I love you so much, I want the same Alex back that I fell in love with. So I will make you a deal Babe, are you willing to hear me out without interrupting.”

"Yeah okay, I guess I at least owe you that after hitting you.”

“Do you remember that night when I was the one restrained, we drank together Alex and talked openly. Afterwards we made love, it was so perfect and I want that again. All I want is for you to talk Alex, just talk openly to me once more.”

“What about Fox?"

“Talk to me about what’s on your mind Alex, how you feel about it all. I want to be able to understand you, hell I'm your partner and lover.”

“If I do will you make love to me.”

“Yes Alex, I’ll also even keep that offer of marriage open too.”

“Do you really mean it?”

“Yeah there’s just one other thing Babe.”

“What’s that?"

“Do you want me to remove the cuffs before or after, do you think that you can control yourself.”

“It’s up to you Fox.”

“Fine, I’ll remove them, however if you lash out I will restrain you.”

“Yeah, that’s okay.”

“Right we will spend the next hour laid here, I will hold you Alex if you want.”

“Yeah I’d like that.”

“Fine whenever you’re ready Alex.”

“Shit where do I start, I’m fine Fox until I have a nightmare. They just feel so real afterwards, a grown man and I’m afraid to sleep.”

“It’s okay Babe keep going.”

“My whole life has been fucked up from the start, it’s been nothing but a rollercoaster of abuse and pain. Right from my abduction it just went downhill.”

“Alex what do you mean by abduction?”

“Shit now there’s another story.”

“Just do your best to explain Alex.”

“You thought I worked for Skinner, then you believed that I worked for Spender. However not once did you ever ask me, you just hit me all the time Fox.”

“God I’m so sorry Alex.”

“I worked for Jeremiah and always have, he got me to infiltrate Spenders little group. He wanted someone on the inside, ironically Spender also wanted someone on the inside of the F.B.I.”

“Shit so everyone you worked for just sent you somewhere else.”

“Yeah something like that, at sixteen I always hung out with some friends. That night there was a big fair in town, we all decided to go check it out. There were four of us that went to look, later the three of them went off with some girls. I was gay back then Fox, hell a lot of people wouldn’t even go near me.”

“Alex are you okay.”

“Yeah sorry, shit I was miles away.”

“I know it’s hard, but it’s also important Alex.”

“Well been the only gay one in the group, it meant that I had to set off and walk home alone. There were six of them Fox, they had been following me staying behind. Before I knew what was happening I’d been hit over the head, it was obvious that they were trying not to touch me.

If they did that people might class them the same, I was gay and they didn’t like it. That was why most of what they did was with a weapon of sorts, not their own hands.

They raped me that night, over and over again with thick sticks, I knew by the pain that I was tearing up inside. I then finally thought it was over, teach the gay kid a lesson he wouldn’t forget.

I could hear them all talking, they were worried I’d be able to name them all. They took a baseball bat to me and left me for dead in a field, which was when Jeremiah found me. He took me and healed me.”

“Jesus Alex.”

“Once I was healed they wanted me to work for them, well I figured I owed them my life anyway. That was when I then went to work for Spender, also the F.B.I.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry Alex, God you had to put up with so much even back then. I’m not surprised you have nightmares, shit any sane person would.”

“Yeah but it didn’t end there did it, Spender tried to have me killed with a bomb, he’d had it planted in the car I was in. You constantly hit me and wanted to kill me, so I just ran Fox.

However even in Hong Kong you found me, I was just tired and fed up with everything. I would have come back with you; shit I would have told you everything. Like I said, nothing ever goes right for me, I had to get jumped by a fuckin alien of all things.

That was like having my mind raped, it was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. It knew I liked you Fox, which was the only reason it never killed you.”

“Yeah I did wonder about you back then, you just seemed so different on the way back.”

“It knew I loved you and used it as a weakness, I had little choice but to comply with it. Then the double crossing shit took me back to Spender, then you know about the silo. I still hate having to think about that cold dark place, it had just left me in there to die.”

“God I don’t know what to say Alex.”

“You perhaps already know the rest.”

“Humour me Alex and tell me anyway, just in case I don’t know everything.”

“Fine I then sent you some receipts to destroy some bombs, the first thing you did was hit me.”

“Yeah sorry I remember that, shit I hit you with my rifle.”

“It’s the past Fox.”

“Go on then.”

“You took me to Skinner of all people, he left me out on his balcony all night to freeze. Then you decided to drag me off to Russia with you, well I suppose I never put up much resistance.

When we were in that gulag I tried to get you out, everything had been going to plan until you had other ideas.”

“I thought you were leaving me to die Alex, why didn’t you try talking to me back then.”

“You wouldn’t have believed me Fox.”

“Maybe, maybe not I just don’t know.”

“I thought the peasants would save me, they thought the only way to do it was by removing my arm. No arm meant no tests. I was cold and tired; I’d fallen asleep near the warm open fire. Shit by the time I heard them it was already too late, there were too many of them for me to fight off.

They used a red hot blade to cut my arm off, or should I say hack it off. I came round later on to the smell of my own flesh burning, it would take some time before I was even well enough to leave there.

I had no choice but to get out of Russia by any means possible, I’d managed to steal some of their vaccine from them. I planned to bribe my way back to America, I would use any means possible to get there.”

“So why didn’t you get Jeremiah to fix your arm back then, he could have taken all your suffering away?”

“At the time I was needed elsewhere, Jeremiah's group couldn’t spare me for the length of time it would take. Shit after that I became more scared about having it done, I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone near my arm.

They needed me to come and visit you, they claimed that you had lost your faith. I wanted to stay with you that night, shit you just looked so lost Fox. It just felt right been there with you, I couldn’t help but kiss you before I left.”

“Yeah you left me really confused that night Alex, I felt so many different emotions, shit I didn’t even know if you really liked me or not.”

“Yeah I liked you Fox, I always have.”

“Yeah I realize that now Alex.”

“I always ended up back with Spender, then I stole something of his to protect you. I thought I’d managed to get away with it, well until I woke up in some foreign prison. At the time, I didn’t even know where I was, only that it was red hot and filthy. “

“Hey are you okay Babe, do you want to stop for a while?”

“No I’ve kept it to myself for ages, there was never anyone to talk too. I was there with six men who all wanted me for one thing, the rapes became a daily part of my life while I was there.

I’d try many ways to block them out, however, nothing ever worked.”

“It must have been Hell Babe, I’m just glad that you can trust me enough to tell me.”

“Well then Marita showed up, hell I thought my luck was finally about to change. I was then taken to a medical lab, I had to suffer all the humiliation all over again. Spenders, Doctor did whatever he was ordered to do, as you know I only learnt recently what the tests were for, I think you know the rest.”

“Yeah, we’re going to have to read the rest of the files Babe.”

“Do we really need to.”

“Yeah I believe we should for our own peace of mind, I’d told Jeremiah that it can wait for now as you’re not well enough.”

  
“You do know I had no choice, shit I had to kill Spender Fox.”

“I know Alex and I’m glad that you did.”

“I didn’t even know what I was going to do with you Fox, when you decided to go U.F.O hunting I just saw an opportunity and took it.”

“Yeah and look how we get on together now, well most of the time anyway.”

“Yeah apart from me acting like a fuckin baby.”

“Obviously you had your reasons Alex, no one can really blame you for the things you have done. However, things can be good now, but you just have to be willing to talk to me if something bothers you.”

“Yeah I know and I promise I’ll try Fox, is that our talk over for now then?”

“Nearly, there’s just a couple more things Alex.”

“Like what?”

“What happened in the last lab Alex, also about the nightmares?"

“God Fox do I really have to go there.”

“I’m afraid you do; I think it will help if everything’s out in the open.”

“I might as well get on with it then, I believe you know what happened Fox. Shit, you’re really going to make me tell you though, I can tell by your face.”

“Yeah I am Babe so come on.”

“We were the ones armed with guns and protective gear, shit I guess that I just felt invincible Fox. I walked through that door, shit then everything was just stripped away from me. It’s amazing how much difference a few clothes make.”

“So you were reduced to been the victim once more.”

“Yeah and I panicked, he took great pleasure fucking me with his fist. Shit the pain was agonizing and I kept screaming out, I think that just turned him on even more. Then the bastard wanted my arms, do you know what scared me the most Fox, oh God I feel really sick.”

“It’s okay Babe just take some deep breaths, you’re doing well and I’m really proud of you.”

“If you hadn’t come when you did Fox he would have done it; shit I would have bled to death in agony.”

“Is that what the nightmares are about Babe.”

“I dream about all of it, I truly believe I’m there and the pain’s actually real.”

“That’s because you know how the pain feels Alex.”

“Yeah I can see that might be part of it, but not all of it,”

“I don’t follow Alex.”

“You will just think I’m stupid Fox.”

“Alex listen to me, you are a very intelligent man, and not for a minute do I think you’re stupid.”

“I dreamt of getting raped again in the lab, then it happened to me. I dream of losing my arms yet again, without you Fox I would have. Then I dream you were talking to someone Fox, the next night you were talking to Jeremiah while I was in bed.”

“It’s possible that the alien D.N.A triggered the nightmares, maybe it’s some sort of protection or something. You said the nightmare became stronger when you got your arm back, so you had even more alien D.N.A introduced into your body.”

“I suppose it’s possible.”

“Maybe now it’s all over the nightmares might finally end.”

“I just keep having new nightmares Fox, I see you leaving me all alone. Also, somewhere there’s a baby crying all the time. That’s why I have to work through this without Jeremiah, maybe after you see him we might learn some more.”

“Yeah I will go see him tomorrow Babe, like you said I stopped you losing your arms.”

“Yeah I know.”

“So that never happened, you see so we changed it.”

“Your point is.”

“Nothing’s written in stone Alex, just stop trying to drive me away. That way it’ll be another thing we will have changed.”

“I’ll try Fox I promise.”

“Yeah you talk to me Alex if you need too, don’t just keep bottling things up. Also we need to plan some sort of sleep routine, shit I don’t ever want you drinking that much again Babe.

Oh and I don’t want you mixing the drink with fuckin sleeping pills.”

“I know it was stupid, God I’m so sorry Fox. I’m also really sorry that I hit you, God how easy I could have drove you away.”

“Well I’m here Alex and I always will be, maybe we should just try the old fashioned way of tiring you out.”

“Like what?”

“I’ll give you a good massage, then afterwards I’ll fuck you senseless. After that and only if you need it, you take just one sleeping pill Alex.”

“Sounds good to me Lover, when do we start.”

“No time like the present Babe, strip for me Babe.”

“Anytime Lover, is your other offer still open Fox.”

“Which offer?”

“The one where you asked if I’d marry you.”

“I told you that will remain open Babe.”

“My answer’s yes Fox, I would love to be married to you.”

“You’ll never regret it Alex, together we’ll make it perfect I promise.”

“I can’t wait; however, you have another promise to keep first.”  
I slowly undressed and lay on the bed, soon I was joined by my lover who was also naked. 

“You’re gorgeous Alex, you’re also really stubborn at times but God I love you.”

“Hey that’s not fair, you can be a pain in the ass too at times Lover.”

“Yeah well I plan to be a pain in your ass any minute now.”

“Come on then fuck me.”

“Anytime Alex.”

I lay there as Fox started kissing me, I think he ended up kissing every part of my body. Soon he was kissing and sucking my nipples until they became hard.

Jesus he finally moved down to my rock hard cock, I was in heaven as his mouth engulfed me. I knew that I’d be coming soon from this alone, God Fox was really talented with his mouth. 

“Fox I want you inside me Lover, shit Fox I hit you in the mouth so it must hurt.”

“I’m fine Alex, let me just grab the lube.”

I lay there as Fox used a large amount, I knew he was worried about hurting me. 

“Alex I’ll go slow, please tell me if it hurts Babe.”

“Yeah fine, come on the Lover.”

As Fox entered me it was sore from the abuse, however it was bearable. Soon I forgot everything as the pain turned to pleasure, soon I was coming all over Fox and myself.

It was when Fox came that I realized the difference, this was love and not hate. Maybe I’d just needed Fox to reclaim me once more, as I’d always belong to him. 

“Alex talk to me Babe.”

“What.”

“Hey, are you okay.”

“Yeah fine, why?”

“You’re crying that’s all.”

“I just realized how much you mean to me Fox, you’re not like any of them others are you?”

“God I hope not; I’d never hurt you intentionally Alex. Not now or ever again, however I would restrain you if it was for your own safety.”

“I’m lucky to have you Fox.”

“I think we’re lucky to have each other Babe, come on we’d better try and get some sleep now. Because of the vodka you can’t take a sleeping pill, you’ll have to manage tonight without Babe.”

"Just hold me Fox until I fall asleep."

“Of course I will, I’ll hold you all night if that’s what it takes.”

“Thank you Fox.”

“Sleep now Babe.”

It felt good to be held once more, I’d put this man through so much just lately. Yet here he was still with me, even holding me and offering me comfort.

The next morning Fox was up early and showered, I knew I’d be here on my own again soon enough. 

“Alex I promise that I won’t be long, when I get back we can discuss what was said.”

“Yeah okay Fox, if I feel up to it I’ll cook us a meal for later.”

“Only if you really feel up to it Alex.”

"Thank you for last night Fox.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Funny, I meant for everything Fox, for listening to my horrible past.”

“Yeah and that’s where it can stay now Alex, in the past.”

“Yeah a new life lover just you and me.”

“Yes we have things to plan Babe, once we deal with all the files and stuff.”

“Yeah I know.”

“It’s up to you Alex, however I think it’s time Jeramiah let you go now. You’ve served enough time for his cause, it’s time for change Alex.”

“Yeah I know it’s been over twenty years, God most of my adult life.”

“I think that maybe we should find a home that’s ours, a fresh start to our married life.”

“Sounds good Fox, we also need to plan the wedding too.”

“Very true Babe, just keep your chin up and think happy thoughts, I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Kiss me Fox.”

“Anytime Babe.”

I walked into Fox’s arms, for some reason I was scared to let go. 

“Alex.”

“What Fox?”

“You have to let go Babe.”

“God I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ever be sorry Alex for wanting us to stay together.”

“I guess I’m still scared that you won’t come back.”

“Alex my whole life is here in my arms; you are my life Babe.”

“Go Fox, just go now or I’ll never let you go.”

Fox kissed me once more and walked out, I felt so alone to the point it hurt. I decided I’d try and keep myself busy, hopefully that way he’d be back before I knew it.

I decided to start by preparing a meal for later, I planned on making a Chinese as Fox liked it, I made a quick list of what was needed and grabbed my keys then left. I got to the local store and found what I needed, soon I paid and was back at me car.

I was transferring everything from the trolley to the car, shit it was then that I froze. Shit all I could hear was a baby screaming, I just freaked out really bad.

I got myself back inside my car, I had to sit there for ten minutes until I’d calmed down. It was then that I saw a young woman with a baby, it must have been her baby I’d heard crying. I knew that I was losing it, however I had no intention of telling Fox.

Once back home I started preparing the meal, soon I’d forgotten all about my trip to the supermarket. Fox arrived back later on in the day, I felt far more relaxed knowing he was here. 

“Something smells good Babe.”

“Yeah it will be ready soon Fox.”

"How are you doing Alex, I’m sorry that I was gone for so long.”

“Everything’s fine, I just decided to go shopping then make a meal.”

“As long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters Babe.”

“Did you find out anything from Jeremiah?”

“We can discuss it later Babe after we eat, he did ask if you were feeling any better today.”

“What did you say Fox?”

“That you’re doing just fine Babe.”

“Yeah thanks to you I had no nightmares last night.”

“You would tell me wouldn’t you Alex, I mean if you did have any problems.”

“Yeah how about you Fox.”

“What do you mean?”

“You left everything behind for me, your job and Scully.”

“What’s brought this on Babe.”

“I just have this strange feeling.... never mind it’s nothing so don’t worry.”

“Well now you’ve brought the subject up, I will have to go back at some point Alex.”

“I fuckin knew it.”

“I never meant permanently Babe.”

“Once you go back Fox that will be it.”

“Why will it?”

“Because you won’t want to come back.”

“Alex my life is here with you now; I swear that I’ll always come back.”

“If you say so Fox.”

“I do so please, believe me, Alex.”

“I want to Fox, but it’s hard, did you discuss this with Jeremiah.”

“Yeah we talked about it Babe, but I’ll need you to help me Babe.”

“Great you’re not only leaving me; shit you expect me to help you do it.”

“It’s not like that at all Alex, Jeremiah has been working it all out.”

“Yeah I bet, funny how he discusses it the time I’m not there.”

“Fine sit down Alex and I’ll tell you his plan.”

“Yeah go on then.”

“Everyone in the F.B.I still believed I’d been abducted Alex, I still want them to believe that when I return.”

“How will that work Fox.”

“I will be returned at the same time as the other abductees, along with you Alex.”

“Scully buried you Fox, have you forgot about that.”

“No of course not, that’s why I’ll need you to help me.”

“What the hell can I do.”

“You have to convince Skinner to dig me up.”

“Sorry, what did you just say?"

“He has to have my body exhumed, threaten him with the Nanotechnology if you have too.”

“Shit you know about that, when did you find out.”

“I knew that day you ran in the hospital; I just couldn’t prove it. At the time, Skinner was also refusing to talk, yet he knew exactly who it was.”

“Great so now I look like a fuckin monster.”

“Jeremiah told me your reasons Babe, please Alex it’s the past so just leave it there.”

“You do know that he’ll most probably kill me the minute he sets eyes on me.”

“That’s why you will have to use the Nano’s Alex.”

“So say it works, what happens after Skinner has you exhumed?”

“Jeremiah will make sure I’m fully alive and healed, then Alex I will retire and be with you.”

“So what do I do in all that time.”

“It will be hard Alex, however once he agrees you’ll have to disappear for now.”

“Fuckin great.”

“I plan to tell Scully about us Alex, I might have to tell things a bit different though.”

“Oh great, so she will want to kill me too.”

“Alex no one is going to kill you or even touch you Babe, I plan on telling Scully I was abducted along with you.”

“Then what.”

“I will explain that while there you helped me, also that you knew I was buried alive. I will tell them that you had no choice but to force Skinner, it was that or I really would be dead.”

“I see that you and Jeremiah have been busy Fox.”

“Yeah trying to give us both a future, once we move on it will be just me and you Alex.”

“So it might just work then.”

“You don’t look too happy about it Alex.”

“I just have this feeling that you won’t come back.”

“What back here.”

“Back to me.”

“Shit Alex I’m lost here; I don’t know how to make you believe me. You tell me, what you want me to say to you.”

“There’s nothing you can say Fox, I just have to deal with it and trust you.”

“Jeremiah will also be leaving afterwards.”

“What do you mean by leaving Fox?”

“Returning home, his mission here will be complete.”

“What about me Fox.”

“You will be free Alex; you won’t be working for anyone at all.”

Why did I have this feeling I was losing everything, soon I’d be all alone once more. I believed that Fox would stay in D.C once he was back, hell even Jeramiah was leaving me now too. I knew that I should be pleased to be free, however in a way Jeramiah had become the only family I’d had.

"The question is whether you’ll do it or not Alex?"

“I’ll do it for you, so just when this is supposed to happen Fox.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Shit that soon.”

“Yeah I’m sorry Babe, I hadn’t wanted to leave that soon.”

“Why does it have to be that soon anyway?”

“The timing has to coincide with the other abductees.”

“So I take it our mission was a success Fox.”

“Yeah, all the labs have been totally destroyed, along with all of Spender’s staff.”

“So where are the files we brought back.”

“Jeremiah claims that they’re still going through them, he will then give them to us.”

“What about the babies Fox, did they find the Mother?”

"They still have a lot of wreckage to sift through Babe.”

“Great so I’m none the wiser.”

“What about Alex?"

“The rest of the tests they did to me.”

“It looks like too much information was missing, also some could have been destroyed in the fire.”

“So I will never know, also you’re leaving me soon too.”

“Come on Alex, let’s not spend the night arguing together.”

“I’m sorry Fox, I’ll just go and sort the food out.”

I went into the kitchen and dished the food out, shit I knew that I’d just lost my own appetite. 

“Fox food’s ready.”

“Thanks Babe.”

I knew that I’d have to put on a brave face for Fox, shit he was the one that had to be reburied once more. 

“This tastes great Babe, once we move you can do all the cooking.”

“Don’t worry lover I can teach you.”

“It will be worth it if it tastes this good.”

“So what’s the schedule for tomorrow Fox.”

“Jeremiah will collect me in the morning, he will take me back and rebury me. Then it will be up to you Alex, Jeremiah will take you to D.C.”

“God I just want this over with Fox.”

“I know Alex so do I, when you're in D.C you must locate Skinner. Everything will depend on you, also if you can get him to do as you say.”

“Great so no pressure then.”

“I’m sure you can look intimidating Babe.”

“Whatever.”

“So you’re okay with this then.”

“No Fox, what the thought of you back in a fuckin coffin again.”

“You managed last time Babe.”

“Only because I was out of it last time, I was in the middle of getting a new arm.”

“Yeah I’m sorry, just try not to think about it.”

“I wish.”

“Come on you can do this Alex.”

“I take it that Jeremiah will make you look dead, or like you were buried alive.”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Fox I don’t want to see you like that, shit I can’t look at you in a coffin.”

“Once they start digging me up just leave, come back here Alex.”

“Yeah okay Fox.”

“I’m scared too Alex, come to bed with me Babe and let me hold you.”

“Just remember Fox, just because I’m not there try not to forget about me.”

“Alex you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I love you too Fox.”

“Come on Babe let’s get some sleep, then we can get this over with.”

I struggled to go to sleep, I knew this had been too good to last as the nightmares came once more.

I dream about Fox, I dream he’d left me to be with Scully, also I had to see him dead in the coffin covered in scars and bruises. Scully hated me, she blamed me for everything, she even claimed that I’d brainwashed Fox.

We had argued and she told me that Fox would always be hers. I ran to my car, all I wanted was to get away from everyone. However, I never made it, I got as far as the garage and came face to face with Skinner.

The bastard pulled a gun on me, he said that with time Mulder would forget about me. Skinner shot me in the arm, so I just went for my gun, I then received a bullet in my other arm. I woke up screaming as the third bullet hit me straight in the head.

I ran into the bathroom and threw up, shit it had just felt so real. Soon I felt a warm arm go around me, then I was being hugged tight. 

“Jesus Alex are you alright, another nightmare I take it.”

“Yeah, just this was worse than all the others.”

“Do you want to talk about it Babe?”

“No Fox, you’re better off not knowing.”

“Maybe so, it’s just not right you having to suffer all alone Alex.”

“Just take me back to bed, please Fox.”

I lay back down in the bed, Fox held me most of the night as I was shaking. Sleep never came for hours; I couldn’t get the images out of my head. When morning came I was exhausted and slept late, I only woke as Fox came to tell me he was leaving. 

“Alex wake up sleepy head.”

“Shit, what time is it Lover.”

“It’s eleven Babe, Jeremiah's here now for me.”

“Great so much for goodbyes.”

“Just kiss me Alex, also remember that I love you too.”

“Yeah I know Fox, maybe you also need to remember too, I love you and want you back.”

“I won’t forget Babe; I guess the nightmare did a right number on you.”

“Yeah you could say that.”

“Jeremiah will be back shortly to collect you Alex.”

“So he’s actually going to speak to me then.”

“Alex it’s you Babe who should be apologizing.”

“Yeah I know, just go Fox before I try to stop you leaving.”

“Give it your best shot with Skinner Babe, it’s my life that depends on it.”

With that Fox was gone, here I was alone once more. I decided to shower and dress, I found my leather jacket, gun and everything else I would need. By the time Jeremiah arrived my nerves were shattered, I’d just paced up and down for ages. 

“Is Fox okay?”

“He’s as well as can be expected Alex, don’t worry as he won’t remember most of it.”

“I hope he doesn’t for his sake.”

“How about you Alex, how are you doing?”

“I’ll be fine once this is over with.”

“Come on we can talk on the way; it’s starting to get late now.”

“Fox told me about your dreams Alex, he said you thought they might be premonitions.”

“I don’t know what they are, I just have to make sure some never come true that’s all.”

“We have read some more of the files, I don’t know how much of it you want to know.”

“All of it Jeremiah.”

“What about the videos.”

“What videos?"

“We found some video’s in a metal case, they’re labelled Alex Krycek nothing more.”

“Hang on to them Jeremiah, I will take a look at them when I get back.”

“Very well.”

“Is it true Jeremiah…”

“Is what true?"

“You’re leaving, going back home.”

“Yes, Alex it’s true.”

“I bet you’ll be glad to see the back of me.”

“Alex you were the best human fighter we ever had, it has been the utmost pleasure to work with you.”

“Shit Jeremiah I’m going to miss you; I guess we’ve been through so much over the years.”

“Yes you can be a stubborn and hard man to deal with at times, but we owe you so much Alex. That is why we must deal with Fox, also deal with you before we leave your planet.”

“Yeah I’d like to get this with Fox sorted out, I’m sorry about before Jeremiah and my mouth. I never stop to think before I open it, I never stop to think how it might hurt people.”

“Your apologies accepted Alex, come on we’re here now. Hold on while I just check in, apparently Skinner is at home in bed. You will also need the keys for a car should you need it, you will find a black Lexus parked up for you.”

“Well I guess this is it then, great I will piss Skinner of straight away, especially if he’s already in bed.”

“Good luck Alex we’ll talk soon.”


	2. Chapter 2

I took the elevator up to the seventeenth floor, shit I was already remembering the time I was last here. I didn’t want to think about how I hung from that balcony. I had been seventeen floors up with a handcuff to hold me there.

I used my picklock to enter his apartment, all was quiet as I made my way to the bedroom. In the light from the streetlamp I saw very little, however, I recognized the shape that was on the bed. 

“Wake up Walter it’s me.”

Within a minute he realized who was in the room with him, he was soon very wide awake. 

“What the fuck do you want Krycek, get the fuck out of my apartment now.”

“Not so soon Walter, you see I need you to do something for me.”

“Go fuck yourself Krycek.”

“Now that’s not very nice is it Walter.”

“What do you want, just tell me so I can get you out of my sight.”

“I want Fox Mulder’s body exhumed.”

“You’re off your fuckin rocker Krycek.”

“Yeah, maybe I am, however, I still want it done.”

“Just fuck off now while you can.”

“Right, I’m tired, pissed off and sick of all this bullshit.”  
I reached into my pocket and pulled the black box out. 

“Do you remember this, just the push of a button Walter.”

“You can kill me first, but there’s no way I’m defiling his grave.”

“He’s not dead Walter.”

“I saw him myself Krycek.”

Screw this, I just wanted it over with and to go home. It didn’t take long to have Walter where I wanted him, he was kneeling in front of me in agony. 

“Will you do it Walter; all the pain can stop if you agree.”

 “Nobody will believe me; shit they’ll have me locked up as insane.”

“You’re the Assistant Director Walter, go and make it fuckin happen.”

“How can you be so sure he’s alive Krycek.”

“I was abducted at the same time, it’s like a coma, but he is alive.”

“Why the hell should I believe you, or anything that comes out of that mouth of yours.”

“Because your life depends on it along with Mulder’s, it’s your choice Walter as I can just end it now.”

“Fine I’ll try my best, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

Skinner used the phone and barked out some orders, I just sat there on his couch with the black box. I just sat there with my finger above the button too, I also remained fully alert. 

“Fine now what Krycek, they have given the go ahead on my word.”

“We’re taking a little trip to the cemetery Walter, I want to make sure you’re not bullshitting me.”

“I have to go anyway; they won’t do it unless I’m present.”

“You had better behave then Walter, or I will kill you.”

“Let’s just get this over with, firstly I don’t like been made an idiot of, also secondly I don’t like your company.”

“The feeling Mutual Skinner.”

We took my car to the cemetery, there were already people there with the digger in position. 

“I need to get out, just wait out of sight if you want to watch. Without me it won’t go ahead Krycek, you have to let me go.”

“Fine go now, just get out Skinner.”

I sat in the car and rested my head on the seat, soon a van appeared to collect the coffin. Everything I could do was now done, all I could do was go back home and wait. I was just about to turn the key, shit that was when the driver’s door flew open. 

“Out of the car, put your hands in the air now.”

“What the fuck.”

“Do it now Krycek.”

I looked around to see about ten men, all armed with rifles and fully trained. Shit things were not looking good, I had no choice as I got out and raised my hands. 

“Sir what do you want us to do with him?”

“Skinner you fuckin bastard, shit you set me up.”

"Cuff him first, then I want him searched for weapons. Then you can bring him back to the Hoover, Alex Krycek is coming with us.”

“Skinner don’t do this.”

“You can be there Krycek when we open it.”

“I can’t, shit I know what’s in there.”

“You don’t have a choice Krycek.”

I had to stand there as the screws were removed one by one, the image that greeted me was one of nightmares. I started screaming in Russian, I didn’t care anymore who was there. 

“Krycek shut the fuck up, get him out of here now.”

“Yes Sir, where do you want him taking.”

“Put him in my office, also make sure he remains cuffed. I also want him guarded at all times, otherwise the rat might run.”

“Skinner please just let me go.”

“I will come and deal with you soon Krycek, get him out of here now.”

I was practically dragged to Skinner’s office, they forced me to sit then watched over me. I must have been there for a couple of hours, finally Skinner decided to show up. 

“How is he, is Fox okay?”

“Why would you care Krycek?”

“Please, I have to know.”

“Give me just one reason why I should tell you anything?”

“I was abducted too; that’s how I knew he was buried alive. He will need me when he’s well enough, we love each other okay.”

Fuck I hadn’t expected the punch to my stomach, shit Skinner really knew how to punch. 

“You’re nothing but filth Krycek, you expect anyone to believe the crap you spout.”

“It’s true, God I swear to you it’s the truth.”

Fuck Skinner punched me again, this time he managed to knock me off the chair. I lay on the floor cuffed, I curled up as I couldn’t even defend myself.

Then things were to get even worse, it was then that Skinner started kicking me. He kicked me several times, I swear that he’d broke at least a couple of my ribs. 

“Watch him, I just need to get some air.”

Thank fuck for that, I stayed on the floor curled up tighter into a ball as I was in agony. Soon however Skinner was to return to his office, he then ordered all the men to leave. 

“Sir are you sure?”

“Yes go it’s an order, Mr. Krycek here will be safe with me.”

They all left and now it was just me and Skinner, great I guess this was to be round two. 

“Well, relatively safe that is.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare touch me Skinner.”

“Not so tough now are you boy, you’re nothing without your arsenal of weapons.”

“Go fuck yourself Skinner.”

Fuck my lip split open as his fist connected with it, I could see the anger in his eyes. 

“You have a smart mouth Krycek, but believe me it won’t help you now.”

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. 

“Who is it?”

“Sir it’s me, Agent Scully.”

“Come in Scully.”

“Sir I just wanted to check that you’re okay.”

“I’m fine Agent Scully.”

“Yes I can see that now, what about Krycek though.”

“He’ll be fine Agent Scully just leave him.”

“Sir he’s injured.”

“It’s nothing that won’t heal.”

“I beg to differ about that. I’m sorry Sir but I’m a qualified Doctor, I can’t just sit back and watch him suffer like that.”

“Fine Agent Scully, check him over then please leave.”

“I would like to do it in private Sir, he’s going to need to undress.”

“You have ten minutes Scully.”

With that Skinner got up and left, Scully meanwhile managed to roll me over. 

“Shit did Skinner do this.”

“Yeah but it doesn’t matter about me, I need to know if Fox is okay now.”

“He’s looking in better shape than you Alex.”

“Fuck that hurt.”

“Yes I will need to strap your ribs Alex; it’s going to hurt so be warned.”

“Just do it I’ll be okay.”

“Mulder’s conscious Alex, he’s spoke to me about a few things.”

“Like what?”

“He’s told me about you, also what’s happened.”

“What did he tell you about me.”

“That you weren’t responsible for your past actions, also that he loves you more than anything.”

Shit I could feel the tears falling, but I was far beyond stopping them or caring. 

“You do love him don’t you Alex?”

“Yeah I love him, he’s my life now without him I’m nothing.”

“He said that you were meant to leave after they dug him up, he said once he was safe you’d return home.”

“That was the plan, however Skinner had his own plans for me.”

“Right that’s about the best I can do for now; you will need to go to a hospital soon Alex.”

“That’s fine and thanks’ for this Scully.”

“I love Mulder like a brother, all I know is that he loves you and that’s good enough for me.”

“You know that Skinner will never believe me, he’d rather see me dead first.”

“Yes I realize that now, just lay there for a minute.”

I lay there as Scully opened one of Skinner’s desk draws, she then returned with the key for the cuffs. 

“Don’t move until I say so Alex, are you listening to me?”

“Yeah I’m listening.”

Scully made a call, she then asked the person to call and give Skinner a fake message. Suddenly the door opened, then Skinner’s voice boomed loud in the office. 

“Agent Scully.”

“Sir.”

“Agent Mulder wants to see me now, he said that it was urgent he speak with me. Watch him Scully and don’t let him out of your sight, I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay Sir.”

With that Skinner was gone, then Scully was back on her phone.   
“Yes I want a cab at the Hoover building straight away, I’m not sure at present but the customer will provide the address.”

“Come on Alex we haven’t got long.”

Scully helped me up, she then helped me into the elevator. 

“Why are you doing this Scully?”

“I told you before Alex, I’m doing it because I believe Mulder.”

“Thank you Scully for everything.”

“Just be careful Alex, also make sure your there for Mulder when he returns.”

“I will be so don’t worry, you’ve done a lot but could I just ask one more thing.”

“Of course.”

“When Fox can move, please Scully will you ask him to call me.”

“Of course I will, come on the cabs here now.”

Soon I was finally on my way home, shit alone again I might add. At least I was still alive, hopefully Fox would be joining me soon. When I made it back home I was exhausted, I just wanted to collapse on the bed. Shit Skinner had well and truly laid into me; my body was in agony especially my ribs.

I reached into a draw, I then swallowed the sleeping pill without water. Soon I was drifting into a deep sleep, I was woke sometime later by the phone ringing. 

“Alex Babe is that you?”

“God Fox please tell me you’re okay.”

“Yeah I’m doing okay Babe, how about you.”

“I take it that you know Scully helped me.”

“Yeah she told me, she also told me what Skinner did to you.”

“Yeah I’ve survived worse Fox.”

“Why don’t you get Jeramiah to heal you Babe.”

“I might in the morning, I will see how I feel after some sleep. Jeramiah’s bringing some stuff over tomorrow anyway.”

“Okay I’m sure he will help you, I guess the two of you are on speaking terms again then.”

“Yeah we sorted out our differences.”

“I’m glad Alex.”

“When will you be back Fox?”

“Possibly a couple of days, there’s some stuff I need to sort out here first. Will you be okay alone Alex, Scully told me you were there when they opened the coffin?”

“Yeah Skinner forced me to stay, I’ll be okay Fox as I’m really tired anyway.”

“Okay Babe you get some sleep then, call me on this number if you need to talk.”

“Yeah okay, I love you Fox.”

“I love you too Babe, goodnight Alex.”

I hung up and just lay there, this time however sleep wouldn’t come. I decided to have a long hot bath, afterwards I made some hot chocolate and went back to bed.

I managed to sleep without any nightmares, however my ribs were in agony. I’d removed the bandages when I went for my bath, not one of my brightest ideas. I was just about to make a coffee when I heard the door. 

“Good morning Alex.”

“Jeramiah how’s things going, do you want a coffee?”

“No Alex I’m fine thank you, please feel free to carry on making your own.”

“I take it you’ve heard from Fox.”

“I’ve heard that he’s doing okay, I also heard that you suffered somewhat at the hands of Skinner.”

“Yeah I’m fine Jeramiah.”

“Alex you can barely walk, please let me help you.”

“Yeah okay.”

“What no arguments today Alex?”

“Hey I’m in agony, also Fox is going to need me.”

Jeramiah came over and placed his hands on my chest, within minutes the pain had gone. I was just about to turn away when he stopped me, he took his thumb and rubbed it lightly over my lip. 

“I take it that the lip was Skinner's work too.”

“Yeah.”

“Well it looks better now, also it will give Fox less to worry about. Now Alex you just need to take care of yourself, it’s time I was going now.”

“What for good.”

“No don’t worry, I will let you know when the time arrives for us to leave.”

“Okay and thanks’ Jeramiah, oh did you remember to bring those tapes with you.”

“Yes Alex, you will find them in the hall way.”

“Thank you Jeramiah for everything.”

“No, thank you Alex, we will talk again soon.”

After Jeramiah left I took the box in the room, it contained ten tapes along with a diary. I shoved the first cassette in to the V.C.R and pressed play, I then went quickly to grab my coffee.

As I re-entered the room I dropped the mug on the floor, shit the images made me want to just throw up. The tape was of me; I was trapped back in that fuckin silo once more. Not once had I noticed any recording devices, well I suppose it was too dark to see much.

I went over and ejected the cassette, I had no intention at all of watching that. I decided to just move on to the next one, not that they were any better. This one showed me in a Tunisian prison cell, me there with some fucker raping me.

Shit what was this, I started to wonder if all the tapes were of the same nature. I watched the first few minutes of the first few tapes that was all I needed to see to know what they were.

Every fuckin tape was of me at different locations, shit I was either getting raped or abused. I noticed that the diary had dates inside, I grabbed a more recent tape and pressed play. Shit Spender had known all along that I was gay, he also had known who I liked.

This tape was of my apartment, it was when I worked for Spender but was in the F.B.I. Spender had supplied the apartment for me, along with video surveillance it appears. There was me in bed jerking off, shit as I came I’d shouted out Fox’s name.

I realized just what the tapes were, they were Spenders own little porn collection. I was the main star on every tape, I was nearly always naked too for him to see.

The diary also had comments in, ones about what he wanted to do to me and my body. I went outside and found a metal bin, I then shoved all the cassettes in it along with the diary. I then poured some gasoline onto everything, one match and soon everything was destroyed.

Soon there was nothing left but ash, that part of my life was now over. Still the images remained in my head, also I had visions of Spender getting off watching them, shit I’d been treat like fuckin dirt. I started to wonder if that was how everyone saw me, shit was that the only reason Fox was with me.

I went and grabbed a bottle of vodka despite my promise to Fox that I’d stay sober and behave, I just didn’t care anymore. I knew drinking while in this state wasn’t a good idea, maybe I should just ring Fox instead as it might make me feel better. 

“Mulder here.”

“Fox it’s me.”

“What’s up Alex, I told you that I’d call you later today.”

“Nothing, you don’t sound too happy to hear from me Fox.”

“I’m just busy that’s all Alex.”

“Too busy to even talk to me.”

“It’s not like that Alex.”

“Whatever, just forget I called.”

“Alex don’t you dare hang up.”

“Why Fox, you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Fine Alex hang up then, God you can act really childish when you want. I really don’t need this shit at the moment, I’ll call you back later on Babe.”

“Don’t bother Fox, I don’t want you wasting your time on the likes of me.”

I hung up before Fox even had chance to answer, fuck him as I didn’t need him anyway. Yeah right who the hell was I trying to kid, yet I still felt so rejected. Maybe I’ll have that bottle of vodka after all, it’s not like I had anything better planned now.

The day turned to night, I’d drank most of the bottle and was feeling it now. I thought after I’d hung up on Fox he’d call back, however I’d received no calls at all. Maybe it was time to call it a night now, I was drunk and really needed to sleep it off.

I lay there on the bed just thinking, I should have known nothing good lasts for long. I’d had a few good months; hell they were far better than good. I’d survived so much in my life, yet I had nothing at all to show for it.

When I went to sleep it was even worse, it was a nightmare of the worst kind. I could cope with most things but not this, here I was strapped down once more.

I was back in that cold lab, naked on a table and just been ignored. Everyone went about their business like I wasn’t even there, no one even bothered to see if I was even still alive.

I was scared as I knew what was to come, yet I still got one hell of a shock. It appeared that there would be two Doctors today, I heard the staff discussing how they all had to leave. Apparently they all had a dislike towards both Doctor’s, great now I was even more nervous.

Soon I was left in the lab all alone, I hated the waiting, shit just stuck here not knowing what they had planned for me. Soon I heard footsteps coming towards the lab, then both Doctor’s walked in. 

“What the fuck!”

“Now Alex watch your mouth.”

“Fox what are you doing?”

“My job.”

“Shit you’re an F.B.I Agent.”

“I changed sides along with Skinner, we now both work for Spender.”

“You can’t, please God this can’t be real.”

“Very real Alex.”

Shit I watched as Fox produced a scalpel, I couldn’t help but scream out.

“I’m going to mark you so bad, that way no one will want you Alex.”

“Why Fox?”

“Because I’m not coming back, you drove me away Alex. You see if I can’t have you, well I’ll make damn sure no one can have you, or even want you.”

“Please Fox I only ever wanted you.”

“Too late now Alex, when I’ve finished it will be Skinner's turn to play with you.”

“Please I love you, don’t do this to me Fox.”

Fox raised his hand and sliced through my left nipple, I just started screaming nonstop.

Shit I sat up in bed and realized it had been a nightmare, it had been the phone ringing that had woke me up. I reached over and grabbed the phone, I was unable to stop my hand from shaking. 

“Yeah.”

“Alex it’s me shit you sound bad Babe.”

“What do you want Fox, I’m not in the mood right now.”

“I phoned to tell you I’m not coming back .....”

I blocked out whatever he said after that, he’d already said more than I wanted to hear. 

“No please you can’t do this.”

“Alex are you listening to me.”

“I fuckin knew all along.”

“Alex what are you talking about, please listen to me Babe.”

“I knew it, I fuckin knew it.”

“Right Alex if you’re not listening I’m hanging up.”

“I fuckin knew it.”

“Right I’m hanging up Alex, just hang on while I try to contact Jeramiah.”

I sat there holding the phone, shit I just carried on repeating the same thing over and over. When Jeramiah walked in I was still in the same place, I still thought I was on the phone talking to Fox. 

“Alex it’s me Jeramiah, come on give me the phone.”

“I knew it.”

“What Alex, what was it you knew?”

“Fox he’s not coming back, I knew it.”

“Fox is on his way here now Alex.”

“You’re lying; he’s not coming back.”

“Alex talk to me, tell me what’s bothering you.”

“He’s not coming back.”

“I’ve sent someone to get him Alex, Fox loves you and will be here soon.”

“He won’t come.”

“You need help Alex, however I promised you that I’d never do it again without your consent.”

Suddenly it hit me who I was talking to, maybe there was a way he could help after all. 

“Yeah you can help me Jeramiah, I want you to help me die.”

“No Alex.”

“Why you said you’d help if I asked, well I’m asking for help now, please just help me die.”

Before Jeramiah could answer I heard another voice in the room. 

“Jeramiah can you leave us alone please; I’ll be out in a minute so just hang on.”

“I will wait in the room for you, please Alex try and listen to Fox.”

“I want answers Alex.”

“Fox why are you here?”

“Well I thought that I lived here Alex, what happened Babe. Shit is that an empty bottle, you said you weren’t drinking anymore.”

“You didn’t want to talk to me Fox.”

“God I’m sorry, I was in a meeting with Skinner at the time.”

“You said that you weren’t coming back.”

“When did I say that Alex?”

“Today on the phone, I had a really bad dream too and you never came back.”

“Shit you mean that you never listened to everything, I said I wasn’t coming back tonight Alex. You really believed that I was never coming back, God you’re my life Alex.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah how about you tell me what happened after you came home.”

“You know what Skinner did to me, you also know that Scully helped me get away.”

“Yeah that’s why I was in a meeting, Scully was also there.”

“She’s okay isn’t she Fox, shit I don’t want her getting fired because of me.”

“Scully’s a red head, she can handle herself pretty well Alex. At the moment it’s you I’m worried about, so she helped you get away, then what?”

“I came home and went to bed as my ribs hurt, later I couldn’t sleep so I had a warm bath. However afterwards I wasn’t capable of re bandaging my ribs back up, then this morning Jeramiah came over.”

“So he fixed your ribs then, also your mouth by the looks of it.”

“Yeah he healed what Skinner did to me.”

“So if you were healed what was the problem.”

“Nothing.”

“Alex don’t bullshit me.”

“I’m not.”

“At least have the guts to lie to my face, come on Alex look at me.”

“Fine you really want to know, Jeramiah brought some stuff over that’s all.”

“What stuff Alex, tell me now or I’ll ask Jeramiah myself.”

“Some videos and a diary.”

“So where are they now.”

“I burnt them all Fox.”

“Was that before or after you looked at them.”

“I only watched a few minutes of each one, I was in all of them Fox. Shit they were all humiliating and degrading, he had video’s everywhere.”

“What do you mean Alex?”

“He even had surveillance in the fuckin silo, shit I just couldn’t watch or relive that again. Spender got his kicks out of watching me puke that body snatcher up.”

“Okay Babe calm down, you’re safe now.”

“He even had my apartment covered, he watched me when I was in my bedroom.”

“So he recorded you with other partners.”  
“No the only partner I ever had was my hand; however, it was always your name I called out Fox.”

“Hey I’m flattered Babe, I never realized you liked me that way back then.”  
“The only time he ever recorded me having sex, shit it was when he arranged to have me raped.”

“Hey it’s over now, Spender’s dead thanks to you.”

“Yeah I couldn’t get the images out of my head, according to his diary it was like his porn collection.”

“I guess he had the hots for you Babe.”

“Yeah well the feeling wasn’t mutual.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“I phoned you but you were busy, I was just fed up that’s all.”

“That’s understandable, go on then what?”

“I did what I promised I wouldn’t do, I got a bottle of vodka and drank it all.”

“I think we need to get rid of your stash Alex, I know your part Russian but you can live without it.”

“Yeah fine I’ll get rid of it all, I still ended up having bad nightmares anyway.”

“Was it the usual ones Alex.”

“This time it was different; shit I can’t tell you Fox.”

“Hey I thought you could tell me anything Babe.”

“It was you Fox, well you and Skinner.”

“What was me Alex, please tell me.”

“I was back in that lab, they had me naked and tied down again.”

“God Alex.”

“They left me alone because the Doctor was coming, shit then two people entered the room. It was you Fox and Skinner, you came to hurt me.”

“I’d never hurt you Babe.”

“It felt so real and you had a scalpel.”

“Please don’t tell me I used it on you, God no wonder you’re suffering.”

“You told me you weren’t coming back; you were going to make sure no one would ever want me again. You started slicing through one of my nipples, then you just kept telling me you weren’t coming back.

I woke up screaming, that was when I heard the phone ringing, it was you on the phone Fox, all I heard you say was that you weren’t coming back.”

“So you never listened beyond that, you really just thought that you were alone again.”

“I’m sorry Fox, it was a dream and I reacted badly to it.”

“It’s not your fault Babe.”

“Do you want to come with me and talk to Jeramiah.”

“Yeah I guess that I should really.”

“Come on then Babe.”

“Thanks for coming so fast Jeramiah.”

“You’re welcome Fox, Alex is of great concern to us.”

“He has me now, I’ll always be here for him.”

“Fox we are partly responsible for making Alex this way.”

“Jeramiah can you not talk about me as if I’m not here, you too Fox. How are you responsible for me Jeramiah, you saved my life all those years ago?”

“Alex you would have died that night, moved on and been at peace now. What we did was selfish as you ended up with everything but peace, you suffered so many years and now it’s time to put it right.”

“You all worry too much as I’m fine.”

“I think you would be fine Alex; you just need to learn to talk to Fox more.”

“Yeah I know.”

“I must be leaving now; however, we’ll be leaving for good in a few days.”

We thanked Jeramiah once more and said our goodbyes.

 “Hey are you okay now Alex.”

“Yeah, he’s holding something back that’s all.”

“Who Jeramiah?”

“Yeah there’s something he’s not telling us.”

“How do you know Babe?”

“I don’t know; shit I just have this gut feeling that’s all.”

“Do you want me to have a word with him.”

“It can wait until morning Fox, tonight you’re all mine Lover.”

“It’s good to have the Alex back I know and love.”

“It’s good to be back.”

“So what have you got planned Babe.”

“That would be telling Lover, come to bed with me Fox.”

“I’d love to Babe.”

“Actually I’ll just lock up; I want you on the bed naked Fox.”

“Sounds good to me Babe.”

“I went and locked all up, I then stripped before I entered the bedroom. There on the bed was the most gorgeous sight, Fox lay on the bed without a stich of clothing on. He hadn’t even heard me enter, he had his eyes closed while he pleasured himself. 

“Let go of it Fox, that’s my job now Lover.”

“I thought you’d got lost Alex.”

“Very funny.”

“What do you want Alex?”

“I want it all Fox, to fuck you and be fucked by you.”

I reached into the draw and grabbed a couple of things out. 

“Nice of you to get yourself ready for me Fox.”

“Shit Alex what are you doing.”

“It’s only a cock ring Lover, can’t have you coming too soon can we.”

“You’re a cruel man Alex.”

“You’ll thank me soon.”

“I’m sure I will Babe.”

I opened the tube of lube, I then smeared it on Fox’s gorgeous ass and my own cock. 

“Jesus Fox I need to be inside you.”

“Hey Babe, does it look like I’m stopping you here.”

“You’re a smart-ass Fox.”

“It had better not just be my smart ass you love Alex.”

“Fox I love your mind, your body plus your ass lover.”

“Prove it Babe.”

“You asked for it.”

I took the tip of my cock, I then plunged hard into his gorgeous ass. 

“Fuck you’re tight Lover.”

“Jesus Alex, God I need to come so bad.”

“All in good time Lover.”

I worked up a rhythm, sometimes pulling right out and plunging back in. The man was hot and always had been, and now he was all mine. The thought of Fox as mine sent me over the edge, I came deep inside him before collapsing on him. 

“Hey Alex don’t you dare go to sleep yet.”

“I’m getting old Fox, just give me a minute to recover.”

God I just felt so weak, I’d only ever had an orgasm like that with Fox. However, Fox kept reminding me that he was still waiting, also he was still rock hard. 

“Sorry Lover.”

I grabbed some more lube, I then smeared it on his cock and my ass, and I could see the veins bulging in his cock and knew it wouldn’t take long. I lowered myself down onto his hard shaft, Jesus I was starting to get hard again already. 

“Only you Fox make feel like a teenager again.”

"Less talking Babe.”

Within minutes I came all over Fox, I then removed the cock ring. 

“About bloody time Babe.”

“Hey be thankful that I’m letting you come Fox.”

“Hey talk like that and you’ll be going over my knee.”

“Is that a promise Fox.”

“Alex can I ask you something, no it doesn’t matter.”

“Its okay go on Fox ask me.”

“No now’s not a good time, you know my brain works overtime at the strangest times.”

“Fox just ask me, please or I’ll spend all night thinking something’s wrong.”

“Okay if you’re sure, just tell me if I’m out of line.”

“Fine okay just talk Fox.”

“You were young when you were left for dead, have you ever had a proper relationship before.”

“Yeah one, it lasted about a month.”

“So how did you know you were gay, it’s just you said at the fair the others left with girls.”

“My relationship that lasted a month, well let’s just say it was a she.”

“So one relationship goes wrong and you’re gay.”

“It wasn’t like that Fox, shit I look at you and I get hard. It would happen too when I was younger, yet it never happened with girls, only boys.”

“So how did you end it with her.”

“She left me because I couldn’t get it hard for her, she went off with some college kid.”

“Can I just ask you one more question.”

“If you really must Lover.”

“I meant a relationship like we have now.”

“I’ve never had a consensual relationship if that’s what you mean.”

“Shit Alex you mean every time you were raped.”

“Yeah pretty much I suppose, that or owned and loaned out by Spender.”

“That’s still rape Babe.”

“I try not to think about it Fox, oh shit I just realized where all this is going.”

“What do you mean Alex?”

“You Fox, you’ve just realized how dirty I am, is this where you end it now.”

“I never meant it like that at all Alex, I was trying to learn things about you. I have no intention of leaving you Babe, we’re in this together.”

“Do you mean that Fox.”

“Yeah Alex I’m all yours, well that’s if you want me.”

“Of course I want you Fox, hell I’ve always wanted you.”

“Do you think it helps with the nightmares, you know having me here with you.”

“Yeah they were getting less until earlier today.”

“Alex I could be wrong, but you’re scared of me leaving you and been alone again.”

“Yeah I’ll admit that‘s perhaps part of it.”

“Only part?”

“I cope on my own Fox; shit I always have.”

“So why the drinking earlier then?”

“I’m not scared of been alone, hell I’m scared of losing you Fox. You have become my life in such a short time.”

“Likewise Babe, I’ll always be here for you Alex. Maybe we should adopt a dog or something, just in case I ever have to go out.”

“I’m sure I’ll cope lover.”

“Come on Alex we better get some sleep, then I’ll go and see Jeramiah and see if he’s hiding anything.”

“Yeah okay, make sure you tell him times ticking. I want everything he has left; we can decide ourselves whether it’s important or not.”

“Yeah okay Babe I’ll tell him.”

“Good as I want it all sorting out.”

“Are you in a hurry or something Alex.”

“Yeah to be married to you, then I’ll know you really want me.”

“If that’s what it takes, the sooner the better then. Come on Babe let’s sleep now. I do want and do love you Alex.”

I fell asleep in my lover’s arms as he was still talking to me, sleep had finally caught up with me.

As soon as morning came I was up, Fox was on his way out to see Jeramiah and didn’t know when he’d be back. 

“Hey Alex kiss me Babe.”

“Anytime Lover.”

I gave Fox a long kiss, however I had to end up pushing him away. 

“That’s not very nice Alex.”

“Fox keep kissing me and only one thing will happen.”

“What would that be Babe?”

“Well it wouldn’t include you going to see Jeramiah, more like you and me going back to bed lover.”

“Okay point taken, right I’m going then Alex.”

“Make sure you tell Jeramiah what I said.”

“I will so don’t worry.”

“Yeah I mean everything Fox, tell him he’s had long enough to sort things out.”

“Yeah okay, God I love you so much Alex.”

“Love you too, just go and be back as quick as you can.”

“I will so don’t worry; promise me you’ll be okay alone.”

“I’ll be fine Fox, hey at least I know you’re coming back.”

“Always Babe.”

Once Fox was gone I felt so lost, I decided I’d change all the bedding and do some cleaning. Maybe one day I might believe him when he says he’s coming back.

I thought about doing some reading, however my mind wasn’t into digesting the information from it. I knew there was a good chance he’d be gone for a while, maybe even a few hours. My life had been spent doing Spenders bidding, that or been a fuckin prisoner somewhere. Boredom was not something I was good with, especially when I was alone.

I knew that fox didn’t want me to carry on my old role, been an assassin was not the best job in the world anyway. Fuck this I decided I’d go for a run, I needed the exercise and it would fill in some time.

The park was pretty much empty, I completed a full circuit right around the park. Finally, I made it back home, I soon realized that I could hear Fox in the kitchen. He must have been on the phone as I heard him talking, yet he sounded really pissed off. 

“Jeramiah I’m sorry but it’s not good enough, he’s my lover and I’ll take care of him.”

There was a pause as Jeramiah must be talking, then Fox started raising his voice once more. 

“He has a right to know Jeramiah, fuck you he’s already been through enough in his life.”

Fox looked up and noticed me in the doorway, he looked so concerned about me. 

“Look Jeramiah I’m hanging up now, Alex is here now and I need to talk to him. Of course I won’t, I know you said before, when the time’s right.”

Fox disconnected the call and threw the phone on the table, he then stood there looking at me. 

“What was all that about Fox.”

“It was nothing Alex.”

“Don’t give me that shit Fox.”

“It’s nothing important.”

“Fine what is it, I have a right to know Fox.”

“Just about when Jeramiah plans to leave.”

“That’s all?”

“Yeah Alex that’s all.”

“So did he give you the files then.”

“Yeah not that there were many left.”

“Have you looked at them yet Fox.”

“No we can do it tonight after we eat.”

“Yeah okay, so everything’s really alright then.”

“Yeah Babe, please don’t worry so much Alex about things.”

“Hey with my past it’s hard not worrying.”

“You have me now Alex.”

“No we have each other.”

We ordered pizza, neither one of us felt up to cooking tonight. All I wanted was to read the remaining files, I had to know if there was anything else about me or Fox. 

“How come you went for a run Babe.”

“Maybe because I’ll be getting fat soon if I don’t do something.”

“I’ll still love you Babe.”

“Fox I’m serious.”

“So am I Babe.”

“We eat tons of junk food, also I do no form of exercise at the moment Fox.”

“I’m sure I can think of some exercise Alex.”

“So can I, but it will require your participation Fox.”

“Sounds good to me Babe.”

“Okay Fox, we will exercise after we read the files.”

“You have a deal.”

Fox grabbed a load of files and most were just junk, there was just one file with my name on it. We both started reading to see what was in them, it was over an hour later when Fox spoke, I’d been so busy he had to call me twice.

“Anything worth reading Babe, as so far all I’ve read is junk.”  
“Spender had carried out many tests on me, however most of the results appear to be missing.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing Babe.”

“Fox I really wanted to know, there could be anything wrong with me and I might never know.”

“You know the black oil protects you against most things, maybe you’re okay Babe.”

“Do you know what that bastard had planned to do to me.”

“What Babe.”

“He was planning on putting a tracking device inside the fake arm, I’m glad I killed him before he got the chance.”

“You have to get over all this Alex and move on.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“What did you expect to learn Alex?”

“I don’t fuckin know, Spender never did anything without a reason.”

“What do you mean?”

“Every single test would have been done for a reason Fox.”

“You don’t know that Babe.”

“The man was a fuckin monster Fox, as for me I was just property to him.”

“Is that what you believe Alex.”

“He owned me Fox, shit he wanted to own my mind and body.”

“But it’s over now Alex, Spender’s dead.”

“All I wanted was the truth, it’s my fuckin body that was abused.”

“There’s nothing left to know, you’re alive and he’s dead you need to get over it.”

“You bastard, I thought you’d stand by me Fox.”

“I’m trying Alex, it’s just hard that’s all.”

“Yeah it fuckin looks that way.”

“Please Alex don’t do this again.”

“Do what, oh shit I’ve just figured it out.”

“Figured what out Alex?”

“You and why you’re behaving like you don’t give a fuck, you know something don’t you.”

“Like what Babe.”

“Don’t you fuckin babe me Fox, I can tell by the way you’re acting.”

“You’ve got it all wrong Alex.”

“Like fuck I have, come on Fox out with it.”

“There’s nothing to tell you.”

“Fuck you Fox, I’m off to bed alone.”

“Alex can we not argue.”

“I’m not arguing anymore; you see I’ll be in bed while you’re out here.”

I decided to grab a glass of water, shit after all this yelling I had a sore throat. There in the kitchen window stood my stash of vodka, obviously Fox had found them but not disposed of them.

Shit I knew I couldn’t just get drunk every time we argued, not that I was the one that was keeping secrets. Part of me wanted to keep my promise to Fox, the other part wanted to get drunk and forget everything.

Hell maybe I did have a drink problem, well at least some sort of problem anyway. Fuck it I grabbed some clean washing, hiding one of the bottles between it. I walked past Fox and slammed the bedroom door shut. The more I drank the more I became depressed, I thought that I’d found happiness with Fox.

Shit I’d believed that he loved me, shows just what a fucked up fool I am. Everyone in life wanted me for just one thing, it seemed I was here to be fucked or fucked over. I’d drank the vodka and was feeling really sleepy, Fox hadn’t entered once so that said a lot.

My head was fucked up; I knew the nightmares would come tonight. I reached into the draw and grabbed the sleeping pills, one should be safe and help me sleep. Something inside me just snapped, I emptied the bottle out into my hand. Ten tablets left that was all, fuck it I decided to just swallow the lot.

Fox was my life, so I guessed there was no point to my own life anymore. I drifted in and out of sleep, I could hear Fox in the room as he slammed draws and kept cursing. 

“How many Alex, tell me how many did you take. You stupid fuckin bastard, shit that better not be a bottle you have there.”

“Fox stop banging, can’t you just pack quietly.”

“Alex what the hell are you talking about, I’m not packing because I’m not leaving. Come on Alex how many pills did you take, also you said no more vodka.”

“I’m okay Foxy baby.”

“Shit Alex you’re totally drunk, come on sit up.”

“I want to sleep Foxy.”

“Up now come on Alex, I want you in the bathroom now.”

Shit I felt sick as I stood up, Fox got me to the bathroom just as I threw up. 

“Sit there and don’t move Alex.”

Fox left me sat on the floor, however he wasn’t gone long. 

“Drink this Alex.”

“God I’m going to be sick, what the fuck is it.”

“Just drink it as I want you to be sick, you need to get rid of the pills.”

“I thought you loved me Fox, you hate me really don’t you?”

“Alex shut up and drink it.”

“You’re so bossy Foxy.”

Soon I couldn’t hold back any longer, I must have brought up the entire contents of my stomach. 

“Good Babe come on sit up, I’ll get you some water.”

“Why Fox?

“Why what?”

“Why didn’t you just let me die.”

“Because I love you, you’re my life Alex. Shit I can’t believe you tried to kill yourself.”

“You claim that you love me, yet you’re as bad as them Foxy.”

“Alex why do you keep calling me that.”

“So you don’t deny it then.”

“Deny what?”

“That you’re as bad as them.”

“You’re the one who’s proving them right Alex.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean.”

“They don’t think you’re ready to know everything Alex.”

“Ha so there is more; God I can read you like a book Fox so come on out with it.”

“Jesus Alex please don’t make me do this.”

“Do what Fox accuse you of lying to me, or accuse me of making you tell me the truth.”

“It’s not my fault Alex.”

“How the hell do you work that out Fox, you’re either lying to me or you’re not.”

“I meant it’s not my fault that I’m lying to you.”

“Jesus so you admit it, some fucked up relationship this is.”

“Can’t you for once just listen to me Alex.”

“Why so you can lie to me even more.”

“I’m trying to explain why I had to lie.”

“Go on then, this had better be good Fox.”

“There are certain things, shit its Jeramiah that claims you’re not ready to know. He thinks you’re unstable Alex, this what you have just done will prove him right.”

“Who the fuck is he to call me unstable.”

“Alex he’s not the only one, you need help Babe.”

“Fuckin great, why stay then if you think I’m mad.”

“I didn’t say mad Alex, I said you need help.”

“Shit fine if Jeramiah thinks I’m unstable so be it, but why did you have to lie to me too Fox.”

“God how do I say this.”

“Just say it Fox.”

“Jeramiah knows something really important, it’s something that will affect your life Alex. Basically if I tell you what it is they will leave, he will also take the information with him.”

“Why do I need him if you already know, you can just tell me Fox.”

“I’m so sorry Alex, God I love you and this hurts so much.”

“You’re not going to tell me are you Fox.”

“No Alex I can’t.”

“Get out Fox now.”

“What?”

“You heard me, just get the fuck out of here.”

“I can’t leave you alone, not now Alex.”

“You don’t have a choice Fox; you forget that this is my house.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yeah Fox as I don’t have a choice anymore. Shit it’s not like I can even trust you, well not anymore.”

“I’m fucked either way, shit if I tell you it will destroy your life, if I go that will also destroy you.”

“I’ll be fine; I want you out of my life by morning.”

“Fine just let me get a blanket and pillow then, I ‘ll sleep on the couch and leave when I get up.”

“Fine.”

I couldn’t believe he was just going to go without trying harder, shit he really should have let me die before. I was sick of seeing this bathroom now, I took a quick shower and returned to the bedroom.

Earlier I’d tried to end my life because I thought I had nothing. Now however I know that I have nothing. Fox had just proved that to me tonight, I just wished he’d never found me earlier on. I grabbed a pair of shorts and a tee shirt, once dressed I went into the kitchen. 

“Alex what are you doing?”

“Nothing to do with you Fox.”

“I just want to make sure you’re okay Babe.”

“You’ve already done that Fox, shit you of all people.”

My God I knew I would break down soon, Fox came over to me and touched my face. 

“Alex.”

“Get off me, don’t ever touch me again Fox.”

I barged past him into the kitchen, shit I wasn’t about to cry in front of him. Well I had no pills left, I wondered if the vodka would work if I drank enough.

I opened a bottle and drank it like it was water, then suddenly the bottle was pulled from my hand. Within seconds there was glass all over the floor, Fox had grabbed the bottle and thrown it against the kitchen wall. 

“What the fuck are you doing Alex?”

“Leave me alone.”

“You want me to stand back while you drink yourself to death.”

“It doesn’t concern you Fox.”

“Like hell it doesn’t.”

“Fuck off Fox as I’m not playing anymore now.”

“Is that what you think this is Alex, just a fuckin game.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fine kill yourself then, do what you want as I’m off for a shower.”

“Good fuck off and go, I don’t need you anymore Fox.”

Fuck him, I’d just go to bed and finish the vodka, maybe afterwards sleep might come or something more permanent. I walked into the bedroom, within seconds I was face down on the bed. I felt the weight of Fox as he held me down, shit then I heard the click of the cuffs. 

“Get the fuck off me now.”

“No chance Babe.”

“I swear I’ll kill you Fox.”

“That’s no way to talk to your lover Alex.”

“You’re not my fuckin lover anymore, you blew that one Fox.”

“You’re not in a position to claim anything Alex.”

“Take the cuffs off, come on let’s do this man to man. Hell you were good at that in the past, I used to think I was your human punching bag.”

“Wind me up all you want Alex, but I won’t hit you anymore.”

“I’m not winding you up you stupid fuckin prick, I’m offering you a fair fight.”

“Alex you’re in no state to take anyone on, please just shut up and go to sleep.”

“Like fuck am I sleeping with you in here, or while you have me cuffed.”

“Fine whatever.”

I lay there on the bed wide awake, Fox just stretched and turned over. 

“What the fuck are you doing Fox?”

“Going to sleep so be quiet.”

“Like fuck you are.”

The arrogant bastard, shit he really was going to just leave me like this. Fine I could wait; it’s not like I had anything better to do. I waited until his breathing evened out, the cuffs were my biggest disadvantage. You Fox sleep would be your disadvantage, they say all’s fair in love and war.

I lifted my arms up and put them around his neck, shit not an easy job with cuffs on. I then squeezed causing Fox to black out, all I needed now was the key. I ran my hand down his jeans, I could feel the key in one of his pockets.

Fuck I’d barely touched him and he was getting hard. I finally managed to pull the key out, yet it was hard trying to undo them while wearing them. Shit the pain around my wrist was agony, I was really struggling to hold the key properly. 

“I don’t think so Alex, nice try though.”

“Please Fox just let me go, shit you know I hate been restrained.”

“Alex sleep then I will remove them.”

Fox took the key from me, great I was now trapped here. I couldn’t sleep with him next to me, God he lied to me and I loved him so much.

Two hours later and Fox was still asleep, great now I needed a piss and had cramp. I ran my finger along his luscious lips, shit to never be able to ever kiss him again. This would also be the last time I shared a bed with him, great what a memory that would be.

My heart broke, I turned over and sobbed quietly so not to wake him. Maybe I should give him a going away present, let him remember just what he’d lost. I slowly opened his jeans, god he was so warm and the smell was amazing.

I couldn’t help myself as I licked him, soon I had him fully in my mouth. Life was fuckin cruel to me; we’d been good together while it had lasted. Two months since I got out of that lab, for what it’s worth I might as well have stayed.

“Alex.”

“Oh shit, I thought you was asleep Fox.”

“Obviously Babe.”

“Fox don’t call me that anymore.”

I reluctantly moved of his warm body, I felt so lost the minute I did. 

“Alex you can’t do it; I know that you want to make me suffer. Trouble with that though Alex is you will suffer too.”

“I do know that Fox, shit I just want all the pain to end.”

“It will Alex I promise, try and sleep and we’ll sort it all in the morning.”

“How can we sort this mess out Fox.”

“I will contact Jeramiah in the morning, I will try and make him tell you Alex. I can’t watch you suffer like this, all I ask is that you give me a chance Babe.”

“Fine Fox you have until tomorrow, we’ll see what Jeramiah has to say and take it from there.”

“Okay good but you need to try and sleep now.”

“Will you hold me for a while Fox.”

“God I want to hold you forever Alex, this is breaking my heart too.”

“I’m sorry Fox it’s just hard.”

“I know Babe and you’ve been through so much in your life, come on let me just hold you until you sleep.”

“Thank you Fox.”

“Alex what are you thanking me for.”

“The good times we had, the love you showed me Fox. Also you were the first person to make me feel wanted.”

“You are wanted more than anything Alex, you hold in there and we’ll have that all again I promise.”

“I’ll try and hold on.”

“That’s all I ask Alex.”

“Okay and thanks for holding me too.”

“Alex despite what you think I’m here for you, come on try and sleep now.”

Once morning came I felt so drained, I was also desperate to use the bathroom. Crap it was then I realised I was still cuffed, also what had happened the night before. 

“Fox wake up.”

“What’s wrong Babe.”

“Take the cuffs off Fox, that or I’ll just wet the bed.”

“Sorry I forgot Babe.”

Fox removed the cuffs and rubbed my wrists. 

“I’m so sorry that I had to restrain you Babe.”

“Hey I was the one that gave you a reason.”

I jumped off the bed and went to the bathroom, everything felt so right and safe with Fox here. That was a feeling I’d soon have to live without, I cleaned the mess I’d made in the bathroom last night.

In the kitchen I found Fox making some coffee, I went and grabbed the last few bottles of vodka from the window. I stood with tears pouring down my face, I could barely see as I emptied the bottles down the drain.

Suddenly I felt Fox’s arms go around my waist, then those gorgeous lips kissed me on the neck. I was falling apart as the tears got worse, this one man had brought me so much happiness.   
“This has gone on long enough Alex; I’m going to phone Jeramiah right now.”

I could hear Fox on the phone, he told Jeramiah that it was urgent he come straight away. 

“He won’t be long Babe, please just trust me Alex.”

“I’m trying so hard; you mean so much to me Fox.”

Soon there was a knock at the door, I just sat there while Fox went to answer it. I felt so left out and alone, while they both had secrets they were keeping from me. 

“Sit down Jeramiah please.”

“What’s this about Fox, we are very busy at the moment sorting things out.”

“It’s about the same as always, the man sat there that you’re destroying with your secrets.”

“I’m sorry I don’t follow.”

“Take a good long look at him Jeramiah, look hard at the man that sacrificed so much for you.”

“How are you holding up Alex?”

“Jeramiah he won’t talk to you.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t trust you anymore, also thanks to you he no longer trusts me either. He’s not a stupid man Jeramiah, he knew straight away that I was keeping something from him.”

“We couldn’t do it any other way Fox.”

“For fucks sake you say he’s not ready to know, did you stop to think it might give him a reason to live. You see he thinks he has nothing to live for anymore, as he doesn’t trust me and wants me out.”

  
“We never wanted for him to be alone, he has become very special to us over the years.”

“Well if someone doesn’t talk soon, he will be alone again, to be honest I don’t think he’ll survive long, is that what you want. He was a kid and you saved him, saved him for your own fuckin war.”

“It wasn’t like that at all.”

“Yeah right, you don’t need him any more do you?”

“Look none of this was planned.”

“Answer the question I asked you Jeramiah.”

“We don’t need him to help us anymore, yes that’s correct.”

“So that’s it then, destroy him now he finally has a chance at life.”

“We didn’t expect this outcome for him at this time, I guess that I need to brush up on my human skills a bit more.”

“Yeah so do I.”

“We believed we were protecting him this way, I can now see that’s not the case.”

“Does that mean you’ll tell him everything?”

“Yes we want a clean slate when we leave, Alex has been with us so long and we never wanted to see him hurt.”

I just sat there listening to their conversation, I felt detached like everything around me was no longer real. At first I hadn’t even realized Jeramiah was speaking to me, he had to repeat himself once more. 

“Alex can you hear me, please pay attention and listen.”  
“What do you want, I’ve given you the biggest part of my life and I still get screwed over.”

“We don’t understand a lot of human emotions; we have found you Alex to be a very emotional complex human being.”

“Gee thanks.”

“I’m trying to say that we got it wrong, will you let us now make it right.”

“Great first Fox and now you, he promised to make everything alright too.”

“Alex he started making it right the minute he called me, please let us help you now.”

“What can you say Jeramiah that will make it right now.”

“Not say, we want to show you something Alex.”

“Show me what?”

“Will you trust me also Fox, I need you to come with us Alex.”

“Trust, fine okay I’ll trust you as I have nothing left to lose anyway.”

“Thank you Alex.”

“I always trusted you before, I thought you were my friend Jeramiah. Shit you’re the only family I’ve had for the last twenty years, until Fox of course.”

“Come on let’s go.”

I was past caring anymore, if it was a trick so be it. They could lock me up and throw away the key. The journey was quiet, however it appeared to be a lab he was taking me to. Shit every nightmare surfaced at once, once inside I started screaming as only bad things happen in labs.

“Alex it’s okay Babe.”

“Like fuck, I have to get out of here Fox.”

“I’m here with you, I won’t leave you alone. Come on Babe let’s sit in this waiting room, Alex please it’s not a lab it’s just a room.”

“Okay fine Fox, just don’t leave me.”

I went and sat on a couch in the room, well at least it wasn’t a bed with restraints. Soon Jeramiah entered the room holding something, shit my nerves were really on edge at the moment. He then bent down in front of me, that was when I saw what he held in his arms.

“What the fuck is that?”

“It’s your son Alex.”

“Get it away from me.”

“Alex Babe come on calm down.”

“I mean it Fox, it’s a fuckin monster.”

“Alex how can you say that?”

“Fox listen to me, I don’t have a child so it’s not mine.”

Fuck what were they trying to do to me now, it was nothing but a fuckin alien. 

“Alex please it’s one of the babies you helped save.”

“Fuck you Fox, fuck you all I’m not listening anymore.”

“Alex come on Babe.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare come near me, I swear that I’ll kill you all.”

“Alex you’re scaring everyone, come on Jeramiah’s taken the baby away now.”

I started screaming again about it been a monster, I collapsed on the floor in a tight ball. I felt the sharp prick of a needle as Fox held me.

Jesus when I woke my head hurt really bad, I also noticed I was in a hospital bed with Fox fast asleep in a chair. Well at least he was still here, all I remembered was a blinding pain in my head. I was scared and didn’t want to wake Fox, however I knew I had no choice. 

“Fox wake up, please talk to me.”

“Hey Alex you’re awake Babe.”

“Yeah it appears so, what happened Fox?”

“What do you remember Babe?”

“A sharp pain in my head and that’s it.”

“You had an aneurysm Babe, the pills and vodka perhaps made it worse. That could also explain your mood swings, also the paranoia and nightmares.”

“I’m sorry Fox I can only remember bits here and there.”

“Hey I’m just glad to have you back Babe, shit you scared the hell out of me Alex.”

“So do I still have an aneurysm then, it’s just there’s no bandages or anything.”

“Alex the aneurysm burst Babe, Jeramiah saved your life. I guess he decided to ignore you yet again.”

“Hey this time I’m glad he did.”

“So am I Babe.”

“I guess I owe him a lot.”

“Yeah I believe so Babe, you rest Alex and we can talk later on.”

“I’m fine Fox, please stay and talk to me.”  
“If you’re sure Babe.”

“Yeah Fox I’m sure.”

“Do you feel up to reading Babe?”

“Why?”

“The last file, the one Jeramiah kept from you Alex. Maybe he was right and you weren’t ready, I just couldn’t lie to you any longer Babe.”

“I’m glad, I don’t want us to have any secrets Lover.”

“I’ll be back in a couple of minutes, there’s only a couple of parts you need to read anyway.”

“Yeah okay Fox.”

I lay back on the pillow; shit I could be dead once more if not for Jeramiah. I’d thought nothing about the amount I drank, hell or the pills I took.

All I’d wanted was for the nightmares to stop, yet I’d just made things worse. I guess I was lucky Jeramiah had been around, shit and I’d just taken him for granted.

Suddenly I had this empty feeling, after been there for so long he would be gone from my life. It was at that moment Fox re-entered the room, he had a small file in his hand. 

“Do you want me to stay Alex, or would you rather read it alone?”

“I want you here with me Fox, that’s if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind.”

The file listed many tests done to me, it appeared that the black oil had protected me from most things. Spender believed that the alien left remnants behind, just in case it ever needed to use me again. Great I was a fuckin incubator for an alien, shit that meant it could return.

It appeared that Spender had tried on many occasions to put my genetic makeup into others, he even had blood transfusions done on unborn babies. He’d also done complete blood transfusions on pregnant women, yet nothing at all had worked.

Spender had also tried with the boy Dmitri, he’d used blood tissue and even sperm. He believed it might have worked, had Dimitri been a more mature subject.

It turned out that his sperm count was too low anyway, he would never produce an offspring. Then Spender also had me to use, he was to use me in every possible way he could think of. Shit it sent shivers down my spine, just the thought of how he obtained my sperm.

It would appear that the black oil could live on in my sperm, Spender had been getting excited about creating a hybrid.  
They were to use my sperm along with some genetically altered eggs, if the baby survived the only human D.N.A would be mine.

At this point in time there were no guarantees, everything was just one big experiment at the moment. The egg was placed inside a human incubator; it would take just over four months to develop.

The next few pages were just general information, like blood pressure, growth etc. The one attempt has resulted in the baby dying before birth. Then the next attempt resulted in the birth of a baby boy, who was very much alive.

The baby was named Alexi Krycek subject number one, shit so it was true after all. I really did have a son, the question I wanted an answer to was what he was, human or alien. 

“Shit.”

“Alex are you okay.”

“Yeah I have a son.”

“I know Babe he’s gorgeous just like his father.”

“I vaguely remember you showing me a baby.”

“Yeah you reacted bad Alex and triggered the aneurysm.”

“Fox can I just ask you a question?”

“Of course you can Babe.”

“Is he you know…”

“Is he what?”

“Fox is he human or what?”

“Read the rest then you can decide for yourself Babe, when you have I’ll go get him if you want.”

“I’ll think about it Fox.”

“He’s your son Alex.”

“I never even thought about kids, been gay it was something that never came up.”

“Count it as a blessing then Babe.”

“I don’t know that I even want a kid.”

“Alex please just read it first.”

“Fine I will then.”

It appeared that blood tests revealed the black oil, shit the fuckin thing wasn’t even human. Even after Spenders death the tests had continued, the baby had been subjected to nearly every disease possible. Jesus Spender really was a fuckin monster; he was only concerned about creating his own super soldier.

According to his files he’d even made plans, what he would do if the baby showed no trace of the black oil. He’d planned to use it for his own needs, as it carried my D.N.A he had great expectations for how it would turn out.

Shit Spender had hoped the baby would look just like me, the fuckin guy had been obsessed with me, God that gave me the creeps bigtime.  
Anyway the baby survived all tests, I still couldn’t decide if it was human or not. To be honest I didn’t even know if I wanted to see it, my life had been so fucked up. I was finally trying to get somewhere with Fox, that had already been rocky due to other influences. 

“Fox it doesn’t even say if it’s human or alien, it carries the black oil so it can’t be human can it.”

“Alex think about what you’re saying Babe.”

“I don’t get it, what the hell are you talking about Fox.”

“The baby Alex, it came from a human egg and human sperm, so you work it out yourself.”

“Yeah I get that part; however, it also carries the black oil.”

“He’s not an it Alex.”

“Yeah sorry Fox.”

“Look you see him as part alien don’t you Alex.”

“Yeah I do.”

“Do you also see me as alien Alex, for that matter do you also see yourself that way?”

“No I’m human and so are you Fox.”

“That baby has the same black oil as us, he had it passed on to him from you his Father. Shit Alex he’s as much human as we are.”

“I never thought of it like that Fox.”

“Nobody really knows why the alien left some behind, but it did save your son’s life Alex.”

“But does it mean he will end up as a host, or God forbid something even worse.”

“Alex try not to worry so much, somethings are just beyond our control. Think about it realistically, did the alien even harm you at all.”

“It left me in a fuckin silo to die.”

“Did it really?”

“You know it did Fox.”

“Alex the alien claimed its ship back and just left you there, it was Spender who left you locked in there to die.”

“Shit yeah I suppose so.”

“He was besotted with you Alex, yet he left you there to die.”

“I’d just stole the tape from Skinner, Spender had wanted it back as he was under question as to its whereabouts. I ran with it and fled to Hong Kong, there I started selling all the crap on it.”

“Did you ever find out who opened the door?”

“No for all I know it might have been Spender himself.”

“Yeah true, maybe he was teaching you a lesson Alex.”

“It’s possible, he was always trying to keep me in line.”

“Yet he ended up dying by your hands.”

“Yeah well that’s something I have no regrets about Fox.”

“So realistically the alien used you Alex, nothing more. Your son might never even experience that, as you were the host and not him.”

“Fine I accept that then, he’s human so right that’s sorted then. But what if I don’t want him Fox, he would be far better off without me anyway.”

“Why do you believe that Alex.”

“Shit I’m so fucked up Fox, plus we are already trying to make a go of things.”

“Alex we’ve had so many problems, relationships can be like that its normal.”

“I just need some time Fox.”

“Fine Alex, I won’t pressure you either way.”

“Thanks Lover.”

“Do you want to even see him then.”

“No Fox, I just want to go home now please.”

“Alex you’ve been ill.”

“Yeah and Jeramiah healed me, so I’m fine and will be leaving here now.”

“Okay Alex I get the message; you’ll leave with or without my permission. Right I will take you home, I just need to see Jeramiah while you get dressed.”

“What do you need to see him for?”

“Don’t worry it’s nothing secretive Babe, he just wanted to know your decision regarding Alexi.”

“So what will you tell him Fox.”

“The truth Alex, that you just need a bit more time to think.”

“Thank you Fox, shit I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Hey it’s my pleasure Babe.”

Soon I was left alone to dress, I then put all the files back inside the envelope. Once I was ready to leave I left it behind, the contents of that envelope where my past now.

It felt good to finally be back home, I showered while Fox sorted out some food. We decided we’d just have a quiet night together; I knew Fox really just wanted to talk about the baby. However, I felt jealous, like it was just something else coming between me and Fox. 

“Alex we need a bigger house.”

“Shit that was a bit out of the blue, what makes you think we need somewhere bigger anyway.”

“I was just thinking that’s all.”

“Yeah I gathered that, I thought that was something we’d discuss together Fox.”

“That’s what I am doing, you make it sound like I’ve already bought one.”

“It’s okay, it was just a bit sudden that’s all.”

“This is your house Alex and I want something that belongs to both of us, something we picked together.”

“Yeah that’s understandable Fox, shit you perhaps also want a house I can’t kick you out of. I’m really sorry Fox for telling you to leave, it’s meant to be your home too.”

“Look I just think we should find somewhere really nice, somewhere that we’ll both be happy. We could move and start a new life just the three of us.”

“Fox please don’t do this tonight; I’d just wanted a night together without any stress.”

“Do what?”

“Fuckin presume that it’s coming to live with us, I don’t want it, nor did I ask for it.”

“Jesus Christ Alex, he’s a baby not an it. Do you think he asked to be born, or ask for a Father that’s a selfish bastard?”

“Is that what I am Fox, well at least I know now don’t I’”

“I was angry, god I’m so sorry babe it just slipped out.”

“Why the hell do you presume I’d be a good Father, he’s far better off without me. I’m nothing but a fucked up bastard anyway.”

“I said I’m sorry Alex, shit what more can I say.”  
“Nothing Fox, especially if it’s just to talk about that baby.”

“Fine I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be putting pressure on you like that. However, I would still like it if the two of us can still move.”

“Yeah it would be good, I just don’t want to argue all the time Fox. I don’t want to lose you either; shit I love you so much.”

“Hey Alex come here, don’t cry Babe as I’m not going to leave you.”

“You just seem more concerned about the baby than me, fuck that just really sounded immature.”

“Alex it has to be your choice, I think your kind and very emotional. Okay I honestly think you’ll regret it if you give him away, then you’ll be even more upset.”

“What about you Fox?”

“What do you mean, it has to be your choice Alex not mine.”

“We’re supposed to be in this together Fox, also you must have some sort of opinion. Shit it’s not even your kid Fox, you might be in love with me but it wouldn’t be just me or us anymore.”

“You want the truth Alex.”

“Yeah Fox.”

“Get this into that head of yours, I love you know matter what Alex. I will accept whatever choice you make, just make sure you can live with the decision you make.”

“Won’t it bother you if he comes between us.”

“Personally I don’t think he will, I also think it will give you another reason to fight Alex. You feel lost Alex because everything you knew has changed, you’re no longer an assassin or a victim.”

“Great I already know that Fox, I know that I’m nothing anymore.”

“Don’t ever say that Alex, of course you’re something. You’re my lover for one, you are also a Father Alex.”

“I just don’t know any more Fox.”

“How about tomorrow we both go see him, I will be there with you if that’s what you want.”

“I’m not bringing him home tomorrow Fox.”

“We’ll just visit him that’s all, however tonight it can be just you and me Alex.”

“Sounds good to me, can I just ask something.”

“Sure babe.”

“What happened to the other baby we saved two Fox?”

“The other baby is still there too; I don’t even know if she has parents to claim her.”

“You might have to ask Jeramiah, see if he knows anything Fox.”

“Yeah I will do, come on Babe bed as we have a busy day tomorrow, hell even a busy few weeks now.”

“Why will we?”

“I want to go with you to see Alexis, then I want us to go house hunting. That’s if you want, I’ll leave it up to you Alex.”

“Yeah I’d like that Fox, a fresh start in a new home.”

“I want us to have a nice house first, then we have a wedding to plan Babe.”

“You still want to marry me Fox, especially after all this?”

“Of course I do Alex; you can be a stubborn bastard but I still love you.”

“Prove it to me Lover.”

“What do you want Alex?”

“I want you to fuck me hard Fox, I just want to feel you deep inside me.”

“Come on then let’s go to bed.”

“I want you to make love to me here Fox, I want you to bend me over the couch and do it hard.”

“God you can be such a slut Babe.”

“Is that a yes then Lover?”

“Of course it is Babe.”

I stood up and started removing my clothing, Fox just sat there staring at me. Soon I stood there naked, yet my lover still hadn’t moved. 

“Fox are you actually going to undress, it does make sex that bit easier.”

  
“I think, you need to be taught a lesson Alex, a lesson in how to listen to people to start with. Also how not to jump to conclusions all the time.”

I started to suddenly feel really nervous, was Fox just tricking me now.

“What do you mean Fox?”

“Over my knee now Alex.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am, over my knee with that cute backside in the air.”

I swallowed hard, shit Fox seemed really serious about this. I’d never done this before with anyone, punishment had always meant severe pain to me.

 I think Fox realized I was breathing heavy now, shit I was going to bring on another panic attack.   
“Shit Alex forget I asked Babe, come on just breathe babe. It was stupid of me not thinking, shit you have already suffered so much.”

I took a look at his face and breathed, it was either now or never. I went to my knees, I then sprawled across his thighs with my ass in the air. 

“Alex you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to do it Fox.”

“Are you really sure?”

“I love you Fox, I therefore trust that you won’t hurt me.”

“I promise Babe it won’t be too bad, if you don’t like it tell me and I’ll stop.”

“How will you know if I don’t like it.”

“We can have a safe word Babe.”

“Such as, it has to be something I’ll remember Fox.”

“Mulder.”

“What?”

“You always call me Fox now, if you call me Mulder I’ll stop.”

“Yeah okay fine.”

Shit I nearly came as he stretched my ass cheeks, I could feel him rubbing and kneading my backside. Shit then within seconds he raised his hand and slapped me, he slapped me three times hard. 

“Fuck Fox that hurts.”

“But it’s still Fox, not Mulder.”

“Fuck yes it’s still Fox.”

I realized each time he slapped me I got harder, god I would need to come very soon. 

“If you’re ever bad or react without thinking, well let’s just say it will hurt far more than this.”

“I promise, god Fox I’ll behave and listen to you.”

“Okay Babe, this might sting a bit as I put some cream on.”

“My ever thoughtful lover.”

“That’s me Babe.”

The heat on my bare ass felt better with the cream, the cool fresh feeling took some of the heat away. Fuck I had been so lost in the sensation, I jumped as his finger went inside my tight hole. 

“God you’re so fuckin tight Babe, your fuckin ass is gorgeous.”

“Shit Fox I’m going to come soon at this rate.”

“That’s the idea Babe.”

“Yeah well you’re still dressed Fox.”

“My jeans will wash Babe, come for me Alex, you know you want too.”

“Fuck yes I want to come.”

  
I felt my lover push another finger inside me, he then started stroking the inside of my ass. Fox then found my prostate and moved on to rub that, it was at that point I came all over his leg.

“Jesus Fox.”

“Are you happy Babe?”

“Yeah you could say that, shit that felt good Fox.”

“I meant are you happy with me Babe, not just happy that I make you come.”

“Of course I’m happy with you Fox, I’m happy you make me come though.”

“Do you want another smacked ass Babe.”

“Maybe later Lover, I think my ass needs to recover first.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Good you do that.”

“Stand up Babe.”

“What.”

“Stand up Alex and bend over the couch.”

“I thought it was my turn now to make you come.”

“No I was just warming up, you asked me to fuck you hard.”

I did as I was told, I then heard Fox remove his own clothing. He rubbed my ass before entering me hard, Jesus I was getting off on this as my cock was already hard again. The friction against my backside was really turning me on, not that I’d be sitting down anytime soon.

Soon Fox worked up a rhythm, he also came within minutes. As he came so did I, shit I hadn’t planned on coming all over the couch. I sank to the floor on my knees, shit my body felt like jelly. 

“Stay here Babe while I get a cloth.”

“Don’t worry I’m not going anywhere.”

Soon Fox was back, he cleaned me along with the couch. 

“Hey Babe come on get up now.”

“I can’t”

“The bed will be far more comfortable Babe.”

“Fine pull me up then Lover.”

Fox held out his hand, he pulled me up and kissed me on the lips. 

“Fox don’t or I’ll collapse back on the floor.”

“Fine I’ll get you in bed and then kiss you.”

“Sounds better Lover.”

However not long after we got into bed, myself and Fox were asleep within minutes.

With morning came doubts, shit I really didn’t want to go back to that hospital. Fox on the other hand appeared rather exited, I just knew I couldn’t let him down. 

“You okay Babe, you’re rather quiet that’s all.”

“I’m fine Fox, okay I’m as nervous as hell really if I’m honest.”

“You’ll be okay once we get there.”

“Alex Krycek big bad ex assassin, shit and I’m scared of a bloody baby.”

“You’re not as big and bad as you think Babe.”

“What’s that supposed to mean Fox?”

“People see what you want them to see Alex, your hard image protects the real you.”

“Which is what Fox?”

“You wouldn’t be fishing for compliments would you Alex.”

“At the moment nothing could change how I feel right now.”

“Well I’ll tell you anyway, you’re gorgeous and very sensitive. You are so different Alex and I l love you, even including your bad habits.”

“Hey what bad habits Fox?”

“I’ll get back to you later on that one Babe.”

“Very funny, Fox can we just get this over with.”

“Yeah come on let’s get going then.”

The drive to the hospital was in silence, I kept telling myself to do it for Fox. If it had been anyone else, well I would have been long gone by now.

We took the lift up to the third floor, shit I could hardly breathe at all. I squeezed Fox’s hand really tight that was when he noticed my predicament. 

“Shit Alex, for fucks sake why didn’t you say something. Come on in here, let’s just get you sat down while I get help.”

Fox pushed me into a small waiting room, he then sat me down on a couch. 

“Alex, hey come on breathe for me Babe.”

“I’ll be fine Fox, just give me a minute will you.”

“You need to see someone Alex, it can’t be healthy having panic attacks like that.”

“Its fine just try not to worry, it’s worse when I’m stressed or nervous that’s all.”

“You should have told me; I’m not losing you no matter what Alex.”

“I can’t do it Fox, God I’m so sorry.”

“Hey I shouldn’t have tried making you come.”

“I can’t pinpoint an exact thing; it just doesn’t feel right.”

“That’s natural Alex, it’s something that would be a big change in your life. It’s not like you were expecting this, shit you’ve only just found out recently yourself.”

“Shit I’m just so scared Fox.”

“Hey come on Babe, it’s one thing to just not feel right but not this.”

“It’s you Fox, shit you scare me.”

“Jesus am I that bad, why do I scare you Babe.”

“You don’t so much scare me, it’s what you might do that scares me the most.”

“Why what is it you think I’ll do, please Alex tell me so I can help.”

“I think you’ll leave me Fox; shit you know if I don’t want him.”

“Jesus Alex, you fuckin idiot.”

“Thanks Fox.”

“You’re all I need, if that’s the decision you make I’ll still stand by you. I don’t think you realize what you mean to me, or just how much I love you.”

“Yeah but don’t you think it makes me a selfish person Fox.”

“Alex it makes you human.”

“God I love you Fox, I think you keep me sane Lover.”

“We can leave here right now if that’s what you want, it’s totally up to you.”

“Yeah Fox I want to leave, I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Its fine Alex.”

“Can we go look at some houses now?”

“Yeah Babe, just one thing Alex.”

“What’s that?”

“Will you wait for me, I just need to see Jeramiah and let him know.”

“What he’s here?”

“Yeah he came to see how you got on.”

“Fine you go Fox, I’ll just grab a coffee and wait here.”

“I won’t be long Babe.”

I found myself alone, in some ways it was good to have a few minutes to myself to think. I waited and waited but still no Fox, I decided I’d go get that cup of coffee after all.

I walked along the corridor to the coffee machine, I noticed that a door was slightly ajar. That was when I realized it was Jeramiah’s voice I could hear, he was talking to Fox about something. I couldn’t help myself, I stood there and listened to their conversation. 

“Look Jeramiah I need to go; Alex has been alone long enough.”

“Very well, I will make arrangements for Alexi first thing in the morning.”

“Yeah okay, just make sure you find him a good home.”

“Fox I assure you he will be well looked after, you had best say your goodbye’s now though.”

“Yeah okay.”  
I peeked around the corner of the door, there sat Fox holding the baby in his arms. 

“Goodbye Alexi, you be a good boy for your new family, I’m sure you’ll be a heart breaker one day just like your Daddy.”

I watched as Fox kissed the baby on the cheek, he then passed him to Jeramiah. 

“Thanks Jeramiah.”

“You’ll miss him won’t you.”

“I guess he’s part of Alex, I feel sorry for the baby as he never asked for this. However, I love Alex and He’ll always come first.”

“Very well, here’s the file you asked for Fox. It gives you the details regarding the other baby.”

“Fine I will look at it later, I’m off house hunting now.”

I couldn’t listen any more, I must really have something wrong with me. Shit even Fox could get on with the baby, I rushed back to the room and waited for Fox. He returned only moments later, I could tell that he was upset by all this. 

“Hey are you ready Babe, sorry I was gone so long.”

“Yeah I ‘m ready come on let’s go Fox.”

Soon we were on the way to the estate agency, we grabbed a few leaflets to take home with us. 

“Do you want to call it a day Alex?”

“Yeah we have plenty to look at for now.”

“We can sort out the best ones, then we can arrange to go see them Alex.”

“Are you really sure about all this Fox?”

“Sure about what?”

“Me, marriage a home together.”

“Alex I’m more sure about this than anything else, what’s making you doubt me now.”

“Maybe because I’m a complete bastard.”

“Hey come on talk to me Babe.”

“I saw you at the hospital Fox.”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you with Jeramiah and the baby, why didn’t you tell me Fox.”

“Tell you what, there was nothing to tell you Alex.”

“You could have told me that you had feelings towards him, it says a lot doesn’t it.”

“I went to say goodbye that’s all.”

“It shows I’d make a shit parent Fox, he’s mine and I feel nothing towards him like you do.”

“Why do you think that is Alex.”

“How the hell should I know.”

“Do you want my opinion Alex, or not.”

“Yeah sorry go ahead then.”

“I think you feel like you do, well because you’re scared to get close in case it doesn’t work out. You won’t even allow yourself the chance, hell Alex you won’t even look at him.”

“I’m so sorry, see I told you.”

“Hold him Alex, he’s yours and a part of you. What makes you think you’d be a crap parent anyway.”

“Because I don’t know how a good parent acts.”

“Alex can I just ask you a personal question.”

“Yeah whatever, I told you I don’t want us to have any secrets.”

“Good I’m glad, I was just wondering where your own parents are Babe.”

“I don’t have any.”

“So what happened then.”

“My Mother died in childbirth, I was then raised by my Father until Jeramiah found me.”

“Did you go back home at all, after Jeramiah healed you I mean.”

“No I worked for Jeramiah since he healed me.”

“Did you ever even go back to tell your Father you were even alive.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Didn’t it bother you that he might have been worried.”

“You don’t get it Fox, or know anything about it.”

“Tell me then Alex.”

“He blamed me for his wife dying, he beat me every single day until that day at the fair.”

“God Alex I’m sorry, Shit and I thought my life was fucked up.”

“So you see, this is my first real chance at a normal life Fox.”

“So it’s understandable you’re worried about becoming a Father.”

“It was worse.”

“What was?”

“The year before I met Jeramiah, shit Fox he never touched me sexually.”

“Isn’t that a good thing Babe.”

“He never Fox, however he let all his friends most nights.”

“Have you ever thought of getting help, you know maybe talking to someone Alex.”

“I’m talking to you Fox, You’re the only person I’ve ever told.”

“Don’t you want to prove that you’re better than him, he deprived you of a Father Alex? You don’t have to deprive that child of one do you, to be brought up by total strangers.”

“What if I do take him and fuck up, won’t that be far worse Fox.”

“At least you would have tried Alex.”

“I don’t know Fox; shit I really don’t know anymore.”

“I’d be there with you, that’s if you want me to be.”

“Of course I do Fox.”

“Well you’ll have to decide fast Alex, they plan to re home him in the morning.”

“Fine let’s go see Jeramiah and I’ll have a word with him.”

“Yeah okay Babe.”

Fox drove me back to the hospital, I couldn’t have drove even if I wanted too. I sat back in the same waiting room, Fox went to try and find Jeramiah for me. 

“Good afternoon Alex it’s good to see you. Fox said that you’d like to speak with me.”

“Yeah I want to ask you about a couple of things.”

“Go ahead then Alex.”

“Can you give me a couple more days to decide about Alexi.”

“Are you having second thoughts?”

“I don’t know, that’s the problem Jeramiah.”

“Very well as it’s you Alex, I will allow you a couple of extra days to decide.”

“Thanks that’s all I ask.”

“Alex please think good and hard, once the baby’s adopted there will be no going back.”

“Yeah I will don’t worry, I have Fox and he’s a good listener.”

“I’m glad you finally have someone Alex, you deserve a life and to move on.”

“Yeah well it’s thanks to you Jeramiah.”

“Did you say there was something else you want to ask me.”

“I want to know about the other baby too.”

“I gave Fox that information earlier today.”

“You might as well just tell me now.”

“Very well, the baby is not the same as your own son.”

“What do you mean not the same.”

“Your son is human Alex; he comes from human D.N.A. The black oil is only a trace amount that carried over from you Alex, his human father not the alien.”

“Yeah okay I understand that now, so why is the other baby different.”

“She is the result of an experiment Alex.”

“Is the baby human or not.”

“It’s a human hybrid, a human egg has been implanted with alien D.N.A.”

“So it’s not human then.”

“It will appear human and grow the same, as the baby is part human.”

“Will it be affected emotionally or physically.”

“Alex it will be human in every way except one.”

“Which is what?”

“It will be extremely intelligent.”

“So she will still want human contact.”

“The baby will crave human attention yes, the same as any other child. The parents will be very lucky; they will receive a very lovable gifted child.”

“Okay thanks’ for that Jeramiah, I will get back in touch soon.”

Soon we were both back home, that was when I realized I’d forgot to ask Jeramiah something.”

“Fox.”

“Yeah Babe.”

“Do you still have the file regarding the baby girl?”

“Yeah why, I thought Jeramiah had answered all your questions.”

“Yeah I forgot to ask one that’s all, I don’t even know if the answer will be in the file.”

“It’s still in the car Babe, here take the keys and get it if you want.”

“Yeah okay Lover.”

I left Fox in the kitchen and went to the car, I climbed in and read parts of the file. I read until I found out what I wanted, I then returned back to the house. 

“Did you find what you wanted Babe.”

“Yeah Fox, I just need some time to sort my head out now.”

“Well you know where I am if you need me.”

“I know Fox; I can’t thank you enough Lover.”

“Do you want to be alone Alex?”

“No I just need to sit down, I’m tired and need to think a few things through that’s all.”

“So what’s first on the agenda then Babe.”

“I thought we could have a look at those houses, just a break from other things for a while.”

“Yeah of course we can Alex, come on let’s see which we like.”

“Well I hope there’s at least one we both like Lover.”

“I’m sure there will be.”

“I’ve never done this before Fox.”

“What about this house, you bought this didn’t you?”

“Fox I bought the first house I saw for sale; I mean I’ve never had to buy a home before. This was just somewhere to escape to, also somewhere to bring you.”

“Hey neither have I Babe, my apartment was just somewhere to sleep.”

“I always thought your apartment was an open house Fox.”

“Yeah well it did feel like that most of the time, come on let’s pick a couple we can view tomorrow.”

“Yeah okay Lover.”

We spent the next couple of hours going through the papers, I fell in love with one more than any of the others. It was at that moment I got up and rushed to the bathroom. 

“Hey Alex is everything okay.”

“Yeah I just felt a bit sick that’s all.”

“Okay call me if you need me Babe.”

“I will do Fox.”

I must have just stood in front of the mirror for ages, shit I was disgusted with the sight of my own reflection. There was no way I deserved Fox, hell or anything else for that matter. I was a complete selfish bastard, is that what life had really taught me.

Maybe in some ways I was no better than my own Father, shit it suddenly hit me that he might still be alive. In some ways I hoped he was dead, I knew it sounded awful but I owed him nothing. 

“Alex you’ve been in there for ages, are you sure everything’s alright?”

“Yeah I’m just off to get a quick shower.”

“Okay don’t be too long Babe.”

“I won’t don’t worry.”

The water was really soothing, well until all the memories started to re surface again. I was dirty, I turned the water temperature even higher. Shit I had to get clean so Fox would want me, yet no matter how hard I scrubbed, I would always be dirty.

I couldn’t take any more, I collapsed to the floor of the shower just sobbing. A few minutes later I had company, Fox knelt down in the shower beside me. 

“Alex talk to me Babe; don’t you dare tell me everything’s okay either.”

“Hey you’re a bit overdressed for a shower Fox.”

“Very funny Babe, so out with it Alex tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m a selfish bastard Fox.”

“No you’re not Alex, why even think like that?”

“I was thinking how lucky I was, I have you and also a son Fox. It will be my only chance to ever be a father, yet I’m too selfish to accept him.”

“I’ve told you it’s understandable after what’s happened to you.”

“I was thinking how some women want kids, yet they never get that chance in life.”

“Unfortunately that’s true Alex.”

“You never read that file did you?”

“Which one?”

“The one you left in your car.”

“No Alex I was too busy with other things, also I didn’t really see the point as you read it.”

“It’s a human egg Fox from an abductee.”

“Yeah I’m aware of that Alex.”

“So the baby has a real mother out there who has the right to know.”

“So I’m sure Jeramiah will look in to it.”

“The mothers name was in the file Fox.”

“You go on Alex as if we know who it is.”

“The name in the file was Dana Scully.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah you could say that, I want Jeramiah to let her have the baby Fox, well that’s if she wants her.”

“God I’m sure she will Alex, this would be her only one chance at been a mother.”

“I owe her Fox; I want some good to come out of all that’s happened. Shit I hurt her so much in the past, yet she was still willing to help me escape Skinner.”

“So you want to see Jeramiah first then?”

“Yeah first thing in the morning, then I want you to invite Scully over.”

“Yeah okay then Babe, I guess you didn’t like house hunting then.”

“I saw one I really liked Fox.”

“I bet it was the one I liked too, I couldn’t decide if it was too big though.”

“You mean the one with four bedrooms.”

“Yeah I loved that one Alex, we can go look tomorrow after we see Jeramiah if you want?”

“Yeah I’d love that and I’m sorry for been a pain in the ass Fox, one of the bedrooms was even a nursery all done in blue.”

“Yeah I noticed that too, I just didn’t want to upset you Alex.”

“Hey I can manage to upset myself so don’t worry about it.”

“Is that what all this is about, are you thinking about keeping the baby Alex?”  
“Yeah I’m thinking about it Fox, I’m just really tired at the moment. Get undressed Lover, come and join me in the shower.”

“Hey I appear to already be in the shower.”

“Yeah but I want you naked lover.”

“How can I resist an offer like that Babe.”

I watched as Fox stripped and joined me, god the man was so sexy. 

“Do you think things will be the same between us Fox, you know if I do keep Alexi?”

“We would make time Babe so don’t worry.”

“Does he really look like me Fox.”

“I forgot you haven’t really seen him have you.”

“No only a couple of glances.”

“Yes Alex he looks like you Babe, he’s got gorgeous green eyes and even a little frown. Oh and I almost forgot he’s got your ears too, and long thick eyelashes.”

“Poor kid.”

“Yeah right, if he looks like you the girls will be fighting over him.”

“Kiss me Fox.”

“My pleasure, how I want to fuck you right now in the shower Babe.”

“Well do you see me objecting at all.”

“God I hope you’re not.”

“I never will either Lover.”

“Turn around Babe.”

I turned my back towards Fox, he then started kissing my neck and along my spine.

“Shit Fox I’m rock hard here.”

“Likewise Babe.”

“Fuck me then Fox.”

“Soon Babe, soon.”

Fox moved further down and was kissing my backside, shit then his tongue entered my tight ass. 

“Fuck do that again and I’ll come.”

“Do you like that Babe.”

“Oh god yes Lover.”

“Good because there’s more to come.”

Fox went back to what he was doing, then he turned me around and started on my cock. He sucked on the full length of it then licked my balls, shit I came hard as his finger entered my ass. 

“Jesus Fox you’re going to kill me.”

“Well what a better way to go Babe.”

“Very true lover.”

“Turn back around Babe, I want to fuck your cute ass hard.”

I did as Fox asked, soon I had him deep inside me. He kept pulling out then slamming back in to me hard, it was as he bit my throat he came. My head hurt and also my ass in a good way though. 

“Alex are you still with me.”  
“Yeah shit I just jumped that was all, I hadn’t expected you to bite my throat lover, I hit my head on the bloody tiles.”

“Let me kiss it better Babe.”

“Let’s just get out first, the water’s starting to cool down Lover.”

“Okay come on then Alex.”

We got ourselves dried off, we then both climbed into bed naked. Soon Fox had me in his arms, he was really gentle as he kissed my forehead. 

“I’m sorry Babe.”

“Hey shit happens Lover, I’d do it again anytime.”

“How about now!”

“Fox are you serious?”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re tired Babe.”

“No it’s okay I’m up for it.”

“What do you want Alex, if you had a choice what would you want me to do to you?”

“Seriously.”

“Yeah of course I’m serious, so will you stop asking me if I am.”

“Shit I can’t Fox.”

“Why Babe?”

“Because you’ll think I’m strange.”

“Alex just try me, shit look at my reputation Babe.”

“Yeah true, ha I nearly forgot about that Spooky Mulder.”

“Alex do you want me to put you over my knee again.”

“Yeah that’s what I want.”

“Sorry what.”

“I want you to put me over your knee. I then want you to punish me Spooky.”

“Fine I have no problem; I just need to know what you want it to be.”

“What do you mean.”  
“Do you want it in a sexual way, or do you really want to be punished?”

“Both Fox.”

“Why Babe?”

“It turns me on and I need punishing.”

“Tell me why you need punishing Alex, what have you done?”

“Because I’ve been selfish about everything, shit I guess I’m been selfish asking you to punish me.”

“Alex I have no problem if it’s what you want, I would rather do it than you go elsewhere.”

“I’d never go anywhere else Fox.”

Fox sat up on the bed, he then kissed me tenderly on the cheek. 

“Come here Babe over my knee now.”

“Okay.”

“Remember the time before, we had a safe word if it gets too much for you.”

“Yeah I remember.”

“What was it Alex?”

“Mulder.”

“Come on then Babe bend over.”

I positioned myself over his knee, the first slap fuckin stung and I jumped a bit. 

“You okay Babe.”

“Do it harder Fox.”

He slapped me four more times, he got harder with each one yet I just craved more. 

“Is that hard enough Babe?”

“You smack like a girl Fox.”

“Alex you’re not exactly in a position to wind me up.”

“Why if you don’t punish me I’ll do it myself.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Forget I spoke Fox.”

“I can’t, you mean it’s this or you’ll really harm yourself?”

“Fox forget it please.”

“Fuck you Alex, you might not want to forget the safe word.”

Fuck I screamed as Fox hit me, I’ guess I’d managed to piss him off now. Yet he didn’t stop after one hit, his hand came down over and over again. 

“Do I still hit like a girl Alex?”

“Well maybe just a bit harder than a girl.”

Fox brought his hand down hard once more, he then pushed me on to the bed. 

“Stay there Alex, don’t you dare fuckin move.”

I heard Fox rooting around in the draw, then I heard the lid flip open on the lube. Well I knew this would hurt, shit my ass was literally on fire. 

“Get your ass up in the air Babe.”

I was more turned on now than I’d ever been, I knew this was going to be over real soon. Fox used the lube on his cock and plunged straight in to me, shit every time he slammed into me my ass hurt.

The minute he touched my prostate I came, as I tightened my ass Fox also came deep inside me. Fox waited a minute or two then pulled out, shit the bastard slapped my ass as he turned away. 

“Fuck that hurt.”

“You’ve got balls I’ll give you that Alex.”

“I’ve never felt so turned on like that Fox.”

“Yeah I know what you mean, God if I’d known before that’s all it took.”

“Fox don’t get any more ideas tonight, I’m exhausted Lover.”

“Yeah we’ve had a really busy night.”

“We also have a busy day ahead of us Fox.”

“Yeah sleep time Babe, you would tell me Alex if I did it too hard.”

“Yeah Fox we’re both adults and I had a safe word if need be, go to sleep Lover.”

The next morning, I sat up in bed, I also wished I hadn’t. 

“Fuck that hurts.”

“What’s the matter Babe?”

“My ass, how the hell am I meant to sit down now.”

“Hang on I’ll get some cream Babe.”

Soon Fox was back from the bathroom, he stood holding some after sun cream. 

“Sorry Babe it’s all there was.”

“I guess it’s better than nothing.”

“Lay on your stomach Babe.”

I rolled over and waited, god the cream felt so soothing and cool.

 “Your ass is hot Babe.”

“Is that a compliment Fox?”

“Well it’s hot in every way just like you.”

“Come on I’ll rub it all in now.”

“Jesus fuckin Christ.”

“Sorry was that too hard.”

“Funny, you know what you did Fox.”

“What me, I didn’t do anything Babe.”

“How about keeping those gorgeous fingers away from my ass, otherwise we will be spending the whole day in bed Lover.”

“Yeah you have a good point.”

“Fox…”

“What Babe?”

“You’re doing it again.”

“God I can’t help it Babe, you’re sop fuckin gorgeous.”

“Fox what are you doing now?”

“Nothing.”

“I give up, just carry on as I’m hard now anyway.”

I realized that Fox was jerking off, he played with my ass fucking me with his fingers. God he was stretching me and soon adding another one, I couldn’t help myself as I came on the bed.   
“Let me do that Fox, I want to make you come Lover.”

“Anytime Babe.”

I uses my hand at first, then I moved down and took him in my mouth. God the man tasted so good, I took his cock in my mouth right to the root. Soon Fox was fucking my mouth as he came, while I greedily swallowed every drop. 

“Jesus Fox I can’t get out of bed now, shit I feel totally exhausted.”

“Yeah me too Babe, come on a quick shower will wake us up.”

“You shower first Fox; I’ll go make some coffee to wake us up.”

“Hey don’t you want to come in with me.”

“No because I will come with you, shit I mean I’ll literally be coming with you Babe.”  
“Very true, you go make the coffee then.”

Finally, we both managed to get ready to leave, we tried our hardest to avoid any more distractions. Fox was good and drove to the hospital, I just realized it was a repeat of yesterday all over again.

I was as nervous as fuck, I was scared that I might just chicken out once more. We arrived and met Jeramiah, I wanted to discuss the baby girl with him first. 

“Good morning Alex, Fox.”

“Good morning Jeramiah, we came as we want to get a few things sorted out today. This has gone on long enough, also I take it you’re leaving soon.”

“Yes Alex that’s correct, we plan to leave here in a couple of days.”

“Have you found a home yet for the baby girl?”

“Not as yet Alex, we’re still working on it.”

“I want Dana Scully to have the first chance, she is the genetic parent after all.”

“Okay that’s a reasonable request, can you contact her to make arrangements to come here.”

“Yeah Fox will arrange for her to come tomorrow.”

“Very well, how about your own son Alex.”

“I’d like to see him properly Jeramiah.”

“Very well take a seat Alex, I will have a nurse bring him to you.”

“Thanks Jeramiah.”

Soon Jeramiah returned along with a nurse, she then handed me the small bundle she was carrying. 

“Can we have some time alone Jeramiah, me, Fox and the baby.”

“Of course you can Alex, take all the time you need.”

“Hey are you okay Babe.”

“He’s tiny Fox.”

“I know Babe and he’s gorgeous.”

“He’s mine a part of me, shit that scares the hell out of me.”

“Don’t forget I’ll be there for both of you Babe, well if that’s what you decide anyway.”

“If I do it, I couldn’t do it without you Fox.”

“Good because I plan on staying around always.”

“Do you think we can give him the life he needs Fox.”

“Alex look where he’s spent his first few months, at least we’d always be there for him. He’s looked after well here, but it’s always by so many different people.”

“Yeah he’s not had the best start in life has he.”

“Like someone else I know Alex.”

“Yeah true Fox.”

“Alex what’s wrong Babe?”

“I’m okay Fox.”

“You can tell me anything Alex, anything at all.”

“Just memories Fox, a past life and how fucked up it was. If I walk out on him I’m no better than my own Father.”

“Alex don’t say that, I’m sure you’ll do what you think is for the best.”

“He has no Mother Fox, just like I never as a baby.”

“Alex he’d still have two parents who would both love him.”

“I know he would, you already do love him don’t you Fox.”

“Yeah, he’s a part of you Babe.”

“When I said he has no Mother; I guess I was thinking about my own childhood. I was tiny like him and only had my Father, yet he saw fit to beat me and hate me.”

“Just remember you’re not him Alex, you could be more like your mother for all you know.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, I cried for the baby, also the child I once was. Fox was there in seconds, he put his arms around me and the baby. 

  
“Let it out Babe it’s okay, we can be good together the three of us.”

“I want to take him home Fox as he’s ours.”

“God I love you Alex, thank you for including me.”

“Hey I want you to be a parent too Fox.”

“It would be an honour Babe.”

“Can we agree on just one thing though.”

“Whatever you want Alex.”

“Can we just call him Lexi; Alexi reminds me too much of the past.”

“Fine Lexi it will be then.”

“Can you take him Fox; I just need to clean my face a bit.”

“Yeah then I think he needs changing Babe.”

“Great I guess we’d better learn fast Fox.”

“Yeah we had also better let Jeramiah know our plans.”

“Yeah I’ll go get him after I wash up.”

“Is that your way of saying I’m changing him.”

“Okay thanks’ for offering.”

“Alex once we take him home, we will be taking it in turns Babe.”

“Agreed Lover.”

I returned shortly with Jeramiah, Fox still held Lexi who was now asleep. 

“I take it that you and Fox have made a decision.”

“Yeah we will be taking him home tomorrow, we will also be bringing Scully with us.”

“Very well, it will be good for both babies to have a proper home.”

“Right Fox come on move, we had better go look at that house.”

“Yes and then a baby shop, shit we need everything Alex.”

“Okay have you got your mobile Fox?”

“Yeah why?”

“I want to invite Scully over.”

“Okay go for it.”

I arranged for Scully to meet us at the baby store, she said she’d be there in two hours. We had time to take a quick visit to the house, maybe it wouldn’t seem too big with a baby too. I kissed my son and told him we’d be back, tomorrow he would be going home with us.

We drove to the house and it was gorgeous, it was like an old farmhouse. The kitchen was huge so I’d be able to teach Fox to cook. The master bedroom had its own adjoining shower, I gathered that Fox also noticed the ceiling. It was totally covered in mirrors; I could just image a huge bed under them with Fox on it naked.

As far as I was concerned it was perfect in every way possible. 

“What do you think Fox?”

“I think it’s perfect and can’t fault it at all, one of the rooms is already blue for Lexi. We would also have two spare guest rooms.”

“I can teach you to cook Fox, did you see the size of the kitchen.”

“The master bedroom was huge too Alex.”

“Yeah I could imagine a four poster bed in there.”

“I could visualize a few things in that room, especially if you’re in it.”

“Don’t go there right now Lover, or we’ll never get out of here.”

“Do you want to make an offer on it Alex?”

“I’d like that, how about you Fox as you have to like it too.”

“Yeah Alex it would be a fabulous home for the three of us.”

“Okay I’ll put an offer in now, I need to get rid of my place too Fox.”

“We also need to discuss money Babe, it’s not something I really wanted to do.”

“I’ve got enough to pay for it Fox so don’t worry.”

“No Alex I want it to be fifty/fifty. I have money but I don’t care about it, as everything will be half yours too when we marry.”

“Okay Lover we just split everything equally then.”

“That sounds good Alex.”

“Does that mean it’s my turn to punish you later then.”

“I’ll pass Babe.”

“Spoilsport, I guess that I’ll have to be naughty then.”

“Try it Babe and see what you get.”

“Can’t wait Lover.”

“Come on make the offer Babe, we need to get moving and meet Scully.”

I made a quick call to the estate agents, we’d already discussed what we were going to say to Scully too. 

“We will get a call back later today Fox, so we’ll know if it’s ours or not.”

“Come on then, we’d better not keep Scully waiting had we.”

I felt really happy about things, I even drove us to the baby shop were Scully was waiting. As soon as we got there Fox was out of the car, he went straight to Scully and hugged her, I wasn’t jealous as I knew he loved her like a sister.

I got out of the car and locked it up, I was a bit wary about what to expect, not that I had to worry as she also hugged me. 

“Alex you look good, Fox told me about your Son, I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Yeah did Fox also explain why we need you here today.”

“Yes he said you want some help buying baby stuff, as you’re not sure what you’ll need.”

“You don’t mind do you Scully?”

“No of course not Alex, it will be a pleasure to help you both out.”

We entered the baby store, I sent Fox and Scully off with a couple of trolleys, I kissed Fox and told him I needed the bathroom. Instead I went to find a member of staff, I had things to arrange regarding my order.

I explained how it would be a large order, I would also pay extra to have it delivered the following day. I knew that the staff got extra commission on their sales, I then explained how I wanted my order duplicating and delivering elsewhere. The only thing I wanted to change was the colour scheme, I wanted it in colours suitable for a girl. I told them I would pay for it all at the checkout.

God it took hours, who would believe a tiny baby could need so much stuff. 

“Please tell me we’ve got everything Fox, my feet are killing and I just want to go home.”

“I think so; we can always buy anything else online.”

“Yeah Fox come on then, he has all the essentials for now.”

We thanked Scully and dropped her off at her hotel, we told her we’d call for her in the morning.

Once we were home I collapsed on the couch, all I wanted to do was sleep. 

“Alex you need something to eat first Babe.”

“Just get a takeaway I’m too tired to move.”

“Okay Babe, do you want a shower while I order it.”

“Can do, unless I fall asleep that is.”

“You seem to be sleeping better now Alex.”

“Yeah I mentioned it to Jeramiah earlier, he thinks the aneurysm might have made the nightmares worse.”

“Hopefully you won’t have any more then.”

“God I hope not; I want to move forward now Fox.”

“Come on then move, go get a shower Babe.”

I relaxed under the hot spray of the shower, I heard Fox on the phone a couple of times while I was in there. I guessed it was time to get out before the food arrived, however I found Fox already dishing it out. 

“That was fast Fox.”

“Yeah eat while it’s still hot Babe.”

I sat on the couch beside Fox, we ate in relative silence until we’d finished. 

“I forgot to mention Alex, the estate agent phoned while you were in the shower.”

“What did they say Fox?”

“It’s ours Alex, it will take a few weeks then we can move in.”

“Great let’s go to bed and celebrate Lover.”

“Alex you’ll be asleep within minutes.”

“You will have to entertain me Lover, that way I’ll manage to stay awake longer.”

“Alex I think you need some sleep Babe; we have a very busy day tomorrow.”

“Exactly so we should make the most of tonight, our last night just the two of us.”

“Well I suppose, if you put it like that Babe.”

“Come on Fox let’s move.”

I led Fox into the bedroom and pushed him on the bed, I knew that he was also exhausted. 

“Let me make love to you Fox.”

“Please do Babe.”

“I won’t keep you hanging on Lover, I know that you’re also really tired.”

I undid his shirt and pulled it off, then I worked on his boxers and pants. Fox was already hard and leaking, I knew this wouldn’t take long at all. I put some on lube my cock and entered his hot tight ass, when he moaned my cock got even harder, if that was possible. 

“God you’re such a turn on Fox, I still can’t believe your all mine Lover.”

“I’m yours Alex, god don’t stop Babe just fuck me.”

“My own demanding little slut, that’s you Lover.”

“Keep talking dirty and I’m going to come.”

“I want you to come for me Fox, come on come for me Lover.”

I could tell by the way Fox grabbed me that he was about to come, when he finally came I was also there with him. 

“God I’ll have no problem sleeping now Alex.”

“I’d better set the alarm, what times that delivery arriving Alex.”

“About ten, I thought we could sort some of it before we leave.”

“Yeah good idea, we’d be better off putting the cot up too.”

“Yeah as long as he has somewhere to sleep Fox, also some nappies and milk.”

“It will take time but we’ll get there Babe.”

“Yeah I guess I’m just a bit nervous that’s all.”

“It’s only natural Babe, come on try and sleep.”

“Yeah we’re picking Scully up at one, I also bought some extra stuff Fox.”

“What stuff Babe?”

“For Scully, I bought her the same as what she picked, I just asked for it all in girls colours.”

“That’s really good of you Alex, I’ll pay for half of it if you want. It can be a thank you gift for all that ‘she’s done for us.”

“Yeah okay Lover.”

“Come on Alex sleep now, I really love you Babe.”

“I love you too Fox, tomorrow we will be like a real family.”

When morning came, well it was the happiest I’d been in a long time. We got up and prepared a room for Lexi then waited for our delivery. We would keep all of his things in the spare room, however his cot would be going in our bedroom.

 When the delivery arrived we sorted it all out, we had one hour to assemble the cot and leave. 

“Fox why didn’t we buy one ready assembled.”

“It can’t be that hard Babe.”

“Great I guess time will tell Lover.”

“You hold that bit up Alex, I’ll fasten this bit to it.”

“That bit doesn’t go there Fox.”

“Since when where you the expert Babe.”

“I was only saying that I think that bit’s wrong.”

“Fine you do it then Alex.”

“Fox you do realize we’ll have to take it apart again soon.”

“Why will we?”

“When we move Lover.”

“Shit I forgot about that.”

“Fox pass me that screw there, yeah that one.”

I reached across and tripped over a box, I fell straight onto Fox. 

“Are you falling for me Babe.”

“Fox I fell for you a long time ago.”

I could feel his hard cock pressed against my leg, shit Fox was already hard. 

“Alex what are you doing Babe?”

“Why, what do you think I’m doing Lover.”

“Well unfastening my pants for one.”

“Very clever Fox.”

“Alex we don’t have time Babe.”  
“Fox it’ll be okay.”

“We haven’t even put the cot together yet.”

“You worry too much Lover.”

I carried on unfastening his pants, then I pulled them down along with his underwear. I was greeted with his large erect cock; he was even already leaking pre cum. 

“Jesus Alex you make me so fuckin hard.”

“It works two ways Lover, don’t move Fox and I mean it.”

I stood and removed my own pants, then I opened the draw next to the bed. 

“Alex what the hell are you doing now.”

“Getting some lube.”

“Shit I thought you were just giving me a quick blow job, Alex we defiantly won’t have time for this.”

“I feel offended Fox; it almost sounds like you don’t want me to fuck you.”

“Alex you know that’s not true.”

“Shut up then Lover and just lay back.”

“Fine you win Babe, well this time anyway.”

“Ha just this time, you wait and see lover.”

I smeared the lube on my fingers, I then gently inserted one into Fox’s ass. God the man was insatiable when he was turned on, I soon put another in and made a scissor motion to stretch him. 

“God I need you inside me Babe.”

“All in good time Lover.”

“Please Alex now.”

“What’s up are you desperate Fox.”

“God yes Alex, come on just fuck me Babe.”

“Well since you asked so nicely.”

“Wise ass.”

“Always Lover, you’re not very patient are you Fox.”

I pulled my fingers fully out and positioned my cock.  
I never gave Fox any warning as I plunged straight into him, I worked up a rhythm and soon came. 

“God you’ve got a gorgeous ass Fox.”

“Glad you like it, come on Babe.”

“Come on, what do you mean come on.”

“Make me come Babe.”

“Are you begging Fox?”

“God yes if that’s what it takes.”

“Sounds good to me, go on the Fox beg for me.”

Fuck I hadn’t expected the hard slap on my backside. 

“Jesus Fox, what was that for?”

“Maybe I’ve decided to fuck you instead, lay on your back Babe.”

I rolled off Fox and lay on my back, he then placed my legs over his shoulders. 

“I want to see your face Babe, god you’re a slut Alex.”

“Fuck me Fox.”

“Now who’s begging Babe, where’s the lube gone Alex.”

“It doesn’t matter just do it without.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Your ass is so tight Babe.”

  
“Whatever, can you just get on and fuck it then Fox.”

Shit he rammed into me hard, I guess it was his way of shutting me up. 

“You like that Babe.”

“God yes Fox.”

“Jeez your hard again Babe.”

Fox got faster and faster until he came inside me, he then rolled off and lay beside me. Great I’d have to use my own hand, I needed to come so bad and Fox didn’t appear willing. 

“Fox.”

“What?”

“What about me Lover.”

“I thought you’d already come Babe.”

“It’s not my fault, you’re the one who made me hard again.”

“Blame me why not.”

“I can deal with it, don’t worry Fox I’ll just use my hand.”

“You fuckin won’t Babe.”

Shit within seconds Fox had his mouth on me, he licked the tip of my cock and blew on it. I felt like I’d explode soon; I was just so hard.

It wasn’t long however before I did explode, I fucked his mouth hard as I came. I felt so boneless, I just lay there with my eyes closed. 

“Come on Babe move.”

“I can’t.”

“You don’t have a choice Alex.”

Fox slapped me hard on the thigh, shit he then grabbed my balls. I jumped up fast as it had been unexpected. 

“Jesus Fox what was that for?”

“Look it made you move Babe.”

“I suppose I can’t argue with that Fox.”

“We need to get washed up and ready Babe.”

“Yeah we need to pick Scully up soon, shit Fox we still need to do something with the cot.”

“Alex it’ll still be there when we get home.”

“Yeah that’s the problem, hold on a minute.”

I went on the computer and loaded an internet page, I then found a phone number. I made a quick call and sorted it out

There it’s sorted Fox.”

“Why what did you do?”

“I just phoned a local handy man, he’ll be over later today.”

“Alex.”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t we just do that to begin with?”

“Because my dear Fox, we might have missed out on that mind blowing sex.”

“I’d hate my life now without you Alex.”

“Good because I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“Apart from the shower Babe, we’ll be late if we don’t move.”

We showered and dressed, it was scary just thinking about things. My main concern was that I and Fox would remain the same, I’d heard how a baby can change things.

Fox was the best thing to happen to me through choice, Lexi was the best thing to come out of all that pain. I guess it’s true, every action has its consequences. I abduct Fox and he became my lover, I get raped and now have a gorgeous son. Great I knew I’d end up crying soon, I would be a nervous wreck by night time.

 “Alex you look miles away.”

“I was just thinking.”

“Are you ready Babe, we need to go collect Scully?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be Lover.”

“Let’s go get your son Babe.”

“Our son Fox, now and always Lover.”

We drove to the motel, Scully was there ready and waiting for us. The drive to the hospital was quiet, I could tell that Scully was feeling upset. I was starting to wonder if I was doing this right, that Scully would want the baby.

I felt guilty that I’d made her life hell, that and also I felt sorry for her. To be robbed of that choice to be a mother or not, it just wasn’t right at all. We made our way to the room where the babies were kept, I then took Scully over to see my son Lexi. 

“Alex can I hold him.”

“Of course you can Scully, he’ll need changing and feeding soon anyway.”

“He’s gorgeous Alex, is Lexi his full name?”

“No but Alexi’s my real name.”

“I like Lexi anyway, it seems to suit him.”

“Scully can I ask you a personal question.”

“Yeah go for it Alex, I can’t guarantee I’ll answer you though.”

“Did you want children before all this?”

“There’s no point even going there, it will never happen now. I don’t blame any of it on you, not now I know the full story anyway. What about you Alex, did you ever think about kids?”

” I’m gay Scully, so I just presumed I’d never have any of my own.”

“Are you happy that you now have a son Alex?”

“Very happy, I also have Fox who I love so much.”

“I’m glad you’re both happy now.”

“Fox loves you Scully, we both just wanted you to be happy.”

“I’m okay Alex, I’m sure you’ll always let me play Auntie Dana.”

“We’d like that very much Scully, come with me there’s something I need to show you.”

I led Scully towards another room, the baby girl was wide awake in her cot. I lifted her out and held her while Scully just watched. 

“Do you want to hold her Scully.”

“Okay, is she also one of their experiments?”

“Yes she’s a human hybrid, they used abductees eggs with alien D.N.A.”

“So she’s not human then.”  
“She is far more human than alien, she is a very special little girl and will make a Mother proud.”

“Is her family coming to get her?”

“When we broke into that final lab we saved her with Lexi, at the time I didn’t even know he was mine.”

“I hope she has a Mother who comes for her, as she’ll need one when growing up.”

“Her Mother already came Scully, I’m sure her Mother will love her more than anything else.”

“I’m sure too Alex, she’s a very beautiful baby.”

“Scully.”

“What?”

“Your her Mother.”

“That’s not a very funny joke Alex.”

God what had I done, tears flowed as her heart was breaking. I pulled a piece of paper out of my pocket, I then handed it to Scully. 

“She’s yours Scully, I could never be as cruel to joke about something like that.”

“Oh god I don’t know what to say.”

I held Scully in my arms along with the baby, we stayed that way for a while as I tried to support her. 

“Just cry and let it all out, I’ll just go and get Fox.”

I returned back to Fox and Lexi, who had by now been fed and changed. 

“How’s Scully Babe?”

“Overwhelmed but she’ll be okay, she wants to see you Fox.”

“Okay come on let’s go, then it will be time to take Lexi home Babe.”

“Okay Lover.”

We went back and found Scully feeding the baby, I just remained in the background so Fox could talk to her. 

“Hey Scully.”

“Mulder it was the best surprise anyone could have given me.”

“Has she got a name yet Scully?”

“I chose her name as a thank you to you both.”

“Okay what did you decide on then.”

“Samantha Alexandria.”

“We’re both honoured Scully.”

We spent the next hour with Scully, we also told her to expect a large delivery. However, it was now time to say goodbye, also to finally take Lexi to his new home. We secured him into his car seat and put him in the car, this was another time that Fox would drive as I was far too nervous. 

“We’ll be fine Alex.”

“Well I’m glad I have you Lover, I really don’t think I can do this alone.”

“I keep telling you Alex, we’re in this together Babe.”

“Thank you Fox.”

“You don’t have to thank me as I love you both so much.”

“Me too, come on Fox let’s go home now.”

“Yeah I almost forgot about the cot.”

“Yeah true Lexi will need somewhere to sleep tonight.”

We drove home to sort the cot out, we now entered our house as a family of three now. I fit into family life far better than I’d expected, life with my lover and son was all I wanted. Everything went well and we even got a date to move, our new home was totally ready for us to move in.

The house was a fantastic size with a large open fireplace, it would be great to see a huge fire in winter. Scully had agreed to have Lexi for the day, while we hired a large truck to move everything. It would be easier to move by ourselves, I believe Lexi had more stuff than me and Fox put together.

Fox went to drop Lexi off while I got to go collect the truck, we’d already spent the last few days packing and most stuff was ready to move.

The truck was large and already filled with gas, I hated having to drive it as I was used to driving faster. When I got home Fox’s car was on the drive so at least he was home, now all we had to do was fill the truck.  
“Hey are you ready Fox?”

“Yeah as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Hey lover what’s the matter, are you having second thoughts Fox.”

“No so don’t worry Alex, I was just thinking about this place.”

“I didn’t live here that long Fox, it was only a home because we made it one.”

“Yeah it’s strange when you think about it.”

“What’s strange Fox?”

“A few months ago I was Mulder and your prisoner, part of me hated you back then as you kept me chained up.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“Shit I didn’t mean to upset you Alex, I just meant we’ve come a long way since then. I don’t blame you for what you did, if you hadn’t taken me prisoner we wouldn’t be together now.”

“Come on Fox lets load the van, a new home and a new start Lover.”

“Yeah okay let’s get moving then.”

We worked hard for the next few hours, finally the van was loaded and we were ready to go. 

“That’s it Alex it’s all done.”

“Fox are you just going to follow in your car.”

“Ha like hell Babe, that van will go far too slow.”

“Charming Fox, shit I bet that’s why I got the job.”

“Hey you know I hate driving slowly.”

“Yeah I know, even when we were partners you hardly let me drive.”  
“Yeah I remember you quoting road statistics to me, you liked it when I was in charge apart from when I ditched you.”

“You can still remember that?”

“Yeah you said I ditched you like someone’s bad date, well if you’d been my date I wouldn’t have ditched you back then.”

“You’re all talk Lover.”

“We will see later Babe.”

“Come on Fox just say goodbye to the place.”

“Okay come on move your cute ass Babe.”

“Hey I was waiting for you Fox.”

Fox got into his car, while I got behind the wheel of the large truck. I knew it would be slow going to our new home, however it had to be done.

Within three months we had it decorated to our taste, now it finally felt like our own home. Fox decided to use any spare time he had to write a book, surprisingly it was about aliens, I was a full time Father and did some woodwork in my spare time.

Fox had wanted a big wedding, while I on the other hand wanted a small one. As usual I got my own way, we had a small wedding with our son present. Scully was also our guest and witness; life just couldn’t get any better for us.

We’d decided on a night out together; we would have a few drinks together. It was to be a change; it was also good having some time to ourselves. We found a bar with an empty table in the corner, Fox then ordered us both a drink. 

“It’s good to be out Babe.”

“Yeah Fox life has been good, but a change of scenery now and then is also good.”

“Yeah we need to get out more often Babe, even if it’s just for a few hours.”

“Fox you spend way too long writing that book.”

“Do I detect a hint of resentment there.”

“No not really, you just have to realize that there is life outside your study.”

“Yeah I’m sorry Babe, I just start writing and forget how long I’m in there. I need to pay more attention to you Babe and Lexi.”

“Its okay, come on let’s just get another drink.”

“Things are okay between us aren’t they Alex.”

“Yeah Fox, god I regret saying anything now.”

“Why we should be able to talk to each other Babe.”

“Fox forget it, let’s both just have a good time together.”

“Okay agreed Babe, I love you so much Alex.”

“I love you too Fox, I just need a piss and won’t be long.”

“Yeah okay Babe.”

I got up and went in search of the toilets, I finally located them at the back of the bar. I finished washing my hands, I was just on my way out when someone grabbed me. 

“Hey gorgeous do you fancy some fun?”

“Get the fuck off me now.”

“What’s matter gorgeous, am I not good enough for you.”

“Get your hands off me, that or I’ll break your fucking fingers.”

“Yeah right, shit you’re nothing but a fuckin pretty boy.”

God did I really have to take this shit of people, I grabbed him and punched him hard. 

“You bastard, I swear you’ve broke my fuckin nose.”

“Well at least I never broke your fingers then.”

The bloke decided he was only going to go down fighting, he decided to get a quick punch of his own in. However, I was far faster than him, I punched him over and over again.

Once I’d finished I calmly just walked out, I left him there just lying on the toilet floor. I went to go and re-join Fox at our table, I fuckin hated public toilets. Fox was still sat at the table; he’d even bought us another drink each. Right now I needed a stiff drink, it was as I grabbed the glass Fox spoke to me. 

“Jesus Alex, what the hell happened to your hand?”

“A fight with the toilet door that’s all.”

“Are you sure Babe.”

“Yeah I’m okay, just drop it Fox.”

I knocked the drink back, shit that was when I realized we had some company. The blokes face was a mess from my fist, it wasn’t my fault as I had to defend myself. 

“Look what you’ve done, you’re a fuckin psycho and want locking up.”

“Maybe you should learn to keep your hands to yourself.”

“You could have just said no.”

“Get the fuck out of here, that or I’ll break your fuckin neck next time.”

“Don’t worry I’m leaving; I wouldn’t want to stay here with the likes of you.”

Finally, the bloke gave up, I kept an eye on him right until he’d left the place. 

“Okay so what was all that about Alex.”

“He came onto me when I went to the toilet that’s all.”

“That’s all, Jesus his face was a mess Alex.”

“He asked for it.”

“You could have just warned him Alex; shit you didn’t need to hit him like that.”

“Fuck you Fox, thanks for all the moral support.”

“Don’t Alex.”

“Don’t fuckin what.”

“Don’t turn against me because you lost control.”

“Is that what you think it was, poor Alex can’t cope so he loses it.”

“Looking at that blokes face, yeah I’d say you lost it big time Alex.”

“Why stay Fox, shit if you think I’m an animal just fuck off.”

“Maybe I might do that, you’re a father now with responsibilities, yet you risk getting locked up for assault.”

“Bring my son into it why not, that’s low Fox even for you.”

“Great I can see you’re in one of those moods.”

“Enlighten me Fox, just what mood would that be?”

“Where you won’t listen to reason at all.”

“I don’t have to take this shit from you Fox.”

“No you don’t, I’m going home.”

“You’re joking right.”

“No Alex I’m not, however you can stay here until you’re in a better mood.”

“Good because I had no intention of going home, especially with you.”

“Grow up Alex.”

With that Fox turned and walked out, great I guess that I’d be spending the evening alone. I ordered a double vodka, then I ordered even a few more. 

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“I’m fine, believe me I’m not good company tonight.”  
“Hey sorry mate, I wasn’t hitting on you or anything. I just hate having to drink alone, it’s surprising how many weirdos there are around.”

“Yeah true, so how come you’re on your own then?”

“I just had an argument with my girlfriend, she stormed out and left me here.”

“Same here, my name’s Alex by the way.”

“I’m Sean, will you have a drink with me then.”

“Yeah go on then I’ll have just the one.”

We spent the next couple of hours just talking, we also drank a lot more vodka too. Sean was great company, however I knew it was time I left and faced the music. Once outside we said our goodbyes, then I decided to call Fox and apologize. 

“Hey Lover.”

“Alex your drunk.”

“Guilty as charged Lover.”

“Where are you?”

“Right where you left me Fox.”

“What you stayed there on your own.”

“No I found someone else the minute you left, Jesus of course I was on my fucking own.”

“I was only asking Alex.”

“What’s matter don’t you trust me anymore?”

“I told you I was only asking that’s all.”

“Fox as much as I love you, you can be a right pain at times.”

“Me Jesus Alex you have to stop using violence to solve everything, you’re a parent now so act like one.”

“Yeah I know that I’m a fuckin idiot, I guess I learnt that one from my Father. Hit them and ask questions later.”

“Is that your way of saying sorry Alex?”

“Yeah Fox I’m sorry, shit you mean more to me than anything.”

“Apology accepted, by the way you’re not the same as your Father Alex.”

“Thanks’ lover.”

“Alex.”

“What Fox?”

“You’re still sleeping in the spare room.”

“Fine I’ll say goodnight now then Lover.”

“Goodnight Babe.”

Shit my head was spinning, I just found a park bench and sat down. I gathered there was no rush to get home anymore, all that awaited me was the spare room and a bed alone.

  
I struggled to remember what had happened to me earlier. Jesus why was it so hard to even think, it was then that I realized I wasn’t alone. 

“Why did you bring him here; shit he believes that I’m dead. He was the one who pushed me down the stairs and tried to kill me.”

“He is inconsequential and just a vehicle, he is a means to get from one place to another.”

Fuck I realized that cancerous bastard was still alive, but there was something far worse than that. It was me talking to Spender, well not me per say. It was the fuckin alien that was inside me, please God not this again. 

“Is he aware of our presence.”

“He is aware of us now; however, he’s trying to fight for control.”

“I want him under lock and key, when you leave his body Alex Krycek must be well guarded.”

“I’m sure we can sort something out.”

“You don’t know just how dangerous that man can be.”

“Well at the moment I’m in control, it’s strange been able to see all of his memories. He despises you Spender, he also wants to kill you all over again.”

“That is why he must be kept under guard.”

“At the moment he believes you’re old and feeble, also that he will get the better of you sooner or later.”

“Alex Krycek will never get that chance again.”

“Well I will be leaving his body shortly; however I will require it once more later on.”

“Very well I will arrange to have him dealt with.”

“Make sure no harm comes to his body, he will be needed here and on your planet.”

This was a fuckin joke, great now the alien was replying to my thoughts, however this time it was talking mentally and not physically.

“No harm will come to you; you are not to try fighting me at all.”

“I will fuckin kill you all, every fuckin last one of you.”

“I can see that you’re going to be a fighter.”

“Just get the fuck out of my head.”

“Your head, you’ll never be alone again Alex not anymore. I can come and go whenever I please, you’re now bonded to me, we are as one.”

“Like fuck I am, so you’re the one who took me over in the airport. Shit that means you’re also the one that took me back to Spender, then you left me in a fuckin silo to die.”

“Listen to me, listen good Alex. You are now mine and will behave accordingly, I could hurt you in so many ways if I chose.”

“Fuck you.”

“Be careful what you wish for Alex, you see for a human to fuck me I’d need to use your body.”

“You bastard.”

“Well Alex now you know where you stand so behave, Spender can you arrange to have him strapped down, I am ready to leave his body now.”

“So that’s it, I’m just strapped down and left until you decide you need me.”

“I’m sure Spender here will find a way to amuse you, as long as your body remains usable I don’t care.”

The alien took my body over to a table, it then just calmly lay down. I tried so hard to will my arms to move, I needed to fight before they restrained me.

No matter how I tried the alien remained in control of my body, then it was too late as the straps were secured, I was fastened down with straps around my ankles and wrists.

Then the alien just left my body, it left through my nose also my fuckin mouth. I coughed and spluttered as it came out, however all I could taste was the black oil. I couldn’t take anymore as the oil mixed with the vodka, I started throwing up and choking. 

“Get the straps of his wrists and sit him up.”

“But Spender Sir you know he’s dangerous.”

“Do as I say, don’t ever question an order again.”

Spender had spoken so his mules jumped to attention. I was sat up and finally stopped choking on my own vomit. I took advantage of the situation, I swung my fist into the face of one of his goons. Suddenly blood erupted everywhere as I broke his nose. 

“Get him strapped back down, Alex dear boy you will be punished for your actions.”

“Go to hell Spender, you heard what that alien said.”

“We can hurt you Alex without damaging you as a vessel.”

“You don’t scare me Spender.”

“Maybe you need a reminder dear boy, let me see what was it we did last time Alex.”

“Fuck you.”

“No I’m sure you were the one that got fucked over.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare touch me.”

“Sedate him then strip him, don’t attempt to remove the cuffs until the sedative takes effect. I’ll be back shortly Alex, then we’ll see how scared I can make you.”

I felt the needle go into my arm, God I tried so hard to fight. Every time my eyes shut I forced them open, until finally I had no strength left at all.

When I came round my head ached, I struggled hard to move and stay awake. I realized that I was now naked and at the mercy of Spender, he stood there looming over me.

Oh God it was then I remembered his video collection, shit the bastard got off on me getting tortured. Here I was back in his hands, where he could now get even more new thrills. 

“Nice of you to re-join us Alex.”

“Go to hell Spender.”

“I see you’ve been mixing with the right people Alex.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well I see you have both arms once more; you must have done something big to get that back.”

“It’s none of your fuckin business Spender.”

“Oh believe me it is my business; however, I have to admit it’s good to see you whole again.”

“Your sick fuck, stay the hell away from me.”

“Why would I want to do that; I’ve had to make do so many times with just a video. Well not this time, now I will be able to touch you and smell you once more.”

“Next time I won’t fail, you’ll be dead once and for all.”

“Empty threats dear boy, well let’s see I have no toys or anything here. You see Alex I wasn’t expecting your company, however I still have my hand that we can use.”

I lay there and tried to show no emotion, Spender ran his hand along my inner thighs. After a few minutes he moved even higher, it was then that he grabbed my balls and squeezed hard. 

“Shit you fuckin bastard.”

“You’ve seen nothing yet Alex.”

Spender then grabbed my cock and squeezed that too, I tried my dam hardest to remain as quiet as possible. However, he then felt my ass, I could feel him pressing as his finger found my tight hole.

Holy shit he full on forced his thumb inside me, I had all on not to scream at all.   
“You don’t know just how much of a turn on you are, don’t worry I’ll have you screaming for me soon Alex.”

“In your dreams Spender.”

“Oh I’ll be wide awake Alex and so will you.”

“Go screw yourself, I forgot you’re past it now. You couldn’t get it up if your life depended on it.”

“You will suffer worse for that mouth of yours.”

“You would have made me suffer anyway.”

“Oh you’re so right there dear boy.”

I felt as Spender yanked his thumb out, I finally thought I could breathe again. Then I felt something worse in me, shit it was stretching me wider and wider. I was starting to think I’d pass out from the pain, yet it just got worse. 

“How’s it feel Alex come on scream for me.”

“Never.”

“Oh I guarantee that you will Alex, have you ever had someone’s whole fist up your ass before.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare.”

“By the way we’ll also be doing it dry, so won’t that be nice for you Alex.”

I was well beyond talking anymore, I was starting to moan in pain as it kept getting worse. I had no idea how much of his hand he had in, but I knew he was getting a thrill out of it. 

“Does it hurt yet Alex.”

“Fuck you.”

“Now that’s not very nice is it?”

Fuck that was when the bastard stretched out his hand, fuck I couldn’t take much more of the pain. He then curled his fist back up, I could feel him fucking me with his fist. I couldn’t hold it back any longer, I started screaming until I passed out.

They must have given me another sedative while I was passed out, I was now fully dressed again including my boots. 

“Did you have fun Alex.”

“Your dead Spender.”

“I’ll have fun again with you, it’s just the alien needs your body for now.”

“Like fuck, there’s no way that thing’s going back inside me.”

“Just lay still Alex, it’s not like you get a say anyway.”

Within seconds I was once more invaded, stupid dumb ass fuckin alien would pay for this.

“Alex I can read your mind.”

“You want to use my body fine, but stay the fuck out of my head.”

“I can go wherever I want Alex; you can’t stop anything that I want to do with you.”

“Jesus fuckin Christ leave me alone.”

“I know that you don’t like what Spender did to you, you feel angry and want to lash out at everyone.”

“I don’t want your opinion or advice.”

“Well you have something that I want.”

“Such as what?”

“Some papers regarding the black oil, we need to leave now and retrieve them.”

The alien became silent; I was just a fuckin hitchhiker in my own body. The alien had total control over my movements and speech, it didn’t take me long to realize just where we were going. 

“Not here please I can’t go in there.”

“I sense that you are distressed by someone or something.”

“My fuckin son's in there for one, also Fox. Oh shit we had an argument.”

“I give you my word that no harm will come to them.”

“Why because you can use them too?”

“Regardless they will not be hurt.”

  
Great the alien just walked in, there stood Fox looking totally pissed off with me. 

“Where the hell have you been Alex, shit you just disappear for days without even telling me.”

The alien just walked straight past Fox and entered the study.   
“Don’t you fuckin dare just ignore me, what about your son Alex. You stubborn fuckin bastard.”

Fox reached out and grabbed my arm, shit there wasn’t a single thing I could do apart from beg to the alien. 

“He’s hot headed, please don’t hurt Fox or my son.”

“It’s your body that will feel the pain, are you sure you don’t want me to use force?”

“I don’t care if he hits me, please just don’t hit him back.”

“Very well.”

“Alex I’m talking to you, fuck no I ‘ve just noticed something.”

With that Fox punched me hard in the stomach, well at least the alien never fought back. 

“You can’t even fuckin walk straight, shit you two timing fuckin bastard. I thought I actually meant something to you Alex. What A fuckin idiot I’ve been, I gave up everything to be with you and this is what you do. What about Lexi, you never even phoned to see if he was okay.”

Fox was devastated yet the alien just stood there, then I heard Lexi upstairs crying. 

“He’s your fuckin son Alex, yet you just stand there while he’s crying. You fuckin heartless bastard shit you don’t deserve him.”

“I’ve cooperated please let me see my son.”

“Human emotions are very strange, very well I will let you see your son.”

I got to look down on my son in his cot, the alien stood there unaware of what to do. 

“You’re not taking him Alex, not until I know you have somewhere safe to stay. You might have used me but he’s just a baby.”

The alien just turned and walked into a different room, this was the study with all the filing cabinets. 

“Fine if I tell you where the file is, well can we just get the hell out of here. I don’t want to cause Fox any more pain, or upset my son by been here like this.”

“Very well where is it.”

“Desk drawer.”

We were just about to leave, however Fox had other ideas of his own. He grabbed me and slammed me hard against the wall, I had expected him to hit me yet again. However, this time he gave me a very intimate kiss. 

“I hope whoever he is that he’s worth losing your family for, I must be the biggest idiot walking for believing your lies Alex.”

Fox was everything to me and my soul mate, yet I was losing him and could do nothing. I didn’t even realize I was crying, my heart was breaking and I was falling apart yet again. 

“Why cry Alex, you’re the one that’s splitting this family up.”

The alien just turned around and walked out, while I was silently screaming inside my own head. 

“You fucker, you’ve destroyed everything that meant something to me. I hope your fuckin happy now, why don’t you just fuck off and leave me alone.”

“Would you rather I go in there and swap bodies, I can always take Fox instead.”

“Leave him out of it.”

“You had better behave then.”

“Whatever, so where are you taking me now?”

“We have one more stop before returning to Spender.”

“Like fuck am I going back there.”

“Do I have to keep on telling you the same thing, your not in control Alex I am.”

“It’s my fuckin body.”

“At the moment it’s mine to use.”

“What’s the difference, every fucker else has used it.”

I was starting to wonder if I were going mad, shit I was having a fuckin argument with an alien. Nice it used my mind to know how to drive, also to take it to the places it wanted to go. I was starting to have a bad feeling about this, especially when I recognized the neighbourhood.

Shit this was Viva towers which meant just one thing, Walter fuckin Skinner’s residence. No please it couldn’t be possible, last time I’d seen Skinner was ages ago. He had kicked fuck out of me in his office, Scully had been the one to help me escape. As for the last time I’d seen his apartment, well that was years ago. The bastard had punched me full on in the stomach, then he’d left me on the balcony to freeze.

Then the alien brought me back from the past, not that the future looked any better. 

“Can you please stop thinking so much, it’s rather disturbing.”

“You should try and be me, feel what I feel.”

“I am inside you.”

“Yes but I’m the one that feels the pain, you bastard I hate you.”

“Please control yourself Alex, we’re here now.”

“Just fuckin great.”

We took the lift to the seventeenth floor, it appeared that Skinner was out, thank God for small mercies. Shit then the alien used my skills to pick the lock, I was well and truly a dead man if Skinner returned. 

“Can we at least get out of here before Skinner returns.”

“It is Mr Skinner I need to see as he holds the information.”

“You idiot, shit he will kill me straight away.”

“I think you over react to much Alex, especially when you have so much to offer him.”

Shit before I could ask what the alien meant I heard the door.

 “Krycek just what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Hi Walter.”

Shit he lunged at me, soon I was pinned against the apartment wall. Skinner held his arm across my throat, shit even talking was now hard. 

  
“You have one minute so I’d start talking Krycek.”

Oh God you’ve got to be fuckin joking, the alien decided to pick now to remain quiet. 

“Fine Krycek have it your own way.”  
Fuck the bastard punched me hard, great he was now dragging me towards the fuckin balcony. Within minutes Skinner had me cuffed to the balcony, I screamed inside my head at the alien but it remained quiet. 

“I guess you’ll have to just think warm thoughts yet again.”

Skinner went back inside and closed the balcony door. 

“What the fuck are you doing, shit you could have said something.”

“Skinner’s a hard target and risky, I need to get him where I want him first.”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“I need him asleep, then I can just take the information I need.”

“So what, do you think he plans to sleep out here or something.”

“He will be back soon; you appear to have a pleasing body to other humans.”

“What the fuck.”

“Men and women seem to find you desirable, I can use that to my advantage.”

“Don’t you fuckin dare, Skinner’s not touching me or coming anywhere near me.”

“I just need him to take you to bed that’s all.”

“You had better know what you’re doing as he’s not touching me.”

The alien started rattling the cuffs, then he shouted out in my voice. 

“Skinner get out here now.”

Shit I noticed the light come on, then the balcony door opened once more. 

“Shut the fuck up Krycek.”

“I need a piss; do you want me to just do it here then.”

“Great get up now.”

Skinner took me inside, he then led me towards the bathroom. 

“One minute Krycek, try anything and I’ll shoot you.”

“Very well.”

I went into the bathroom and took a piss, I then walked out of the bathroom. Skinner grabbed the cuff that dangled from my wrist. 

“You still haven’t told me why you’re here Krycek.”

Instead of talking the alien grabbed Skinner by the balls. 

“You’re either brave, that or you have a death wish Krycek.”  
The alien then started rubbing against Skinner and biting at his ear. 

“You’re nothing but a fuckin cock tease.”

God now the dumb alien was trying to undo the man’s pants. 

“I could do whatever I want to you, nobody in their right mind would believe you. Thinking about that, no one would even miss you, except maybe Mulder that is.”

I wanted my voice back more than ever, I wanted to know when Skinner had last spoke to Fox. 

“You must be good in bed or something, Mulder always seemed to want to keep you around. Hell maybe I should see for myself just what I’m missing, Take your clothes of now.”

Great the dumb fuckin alien just stood there, it was as obvious as anything that Skinner was turned on. 

“You think you can come here and be a cock tease then leave, it’s not nice Krycek to lead people on.”

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the bedroom, he then shoved me face down onto the bed. Fuck then I heard the click of the cuffs, the bastard had cuffed me to the fuckin bed. 

“Fuck do something you stupid idiot, if you don’t he’s going to fuckin rape me.”

“That’s the plan Alex, then he’ll fall asleep and I’ll have what I want.”

“You fuckin bastard.”

“Now I see why your race is so weak, you let your emotions rule everything. You are a tool Alex and nothing more.”

I managed to make a few noises, but that seemed to just turn Skinner on even more. Skinner then unfastened my pants and undressed me. 

“This Krycek will be payback for everyone you’ve fucked over, Mulder always deserved far better than you.”

He was far from gentle as he entered me, shit I was already torn up from Spenders fist. Once inside me Skinner was really brutal towards me, shit his hands then grabbed me by the throat. I felt really light headed and sick, I truly thought I’d pass out as he squeezed hard. 

“You deserve all you get Krycek, why did you have to fuck with Mulder?”

Shit then Skinner punched me in the side of the head, fuck I really had to struggle so I never blacked out. 

“He phoned me Krycek asking if I’d seen you at all, would you believe that he was actually worried about the likes of you. Then he called me back to tell me you’d returned, you’re also a fuckin whore too.”

Skinner started to punch me over and over again, once he’d come all he wanted was to hurt me. 

“Whore that’s what you are, you ditched Mulder and even your own son. I despise you Krycek and wish you were out of our lives; you don’t deserve Mulder or that baby.”

My body had suffered so much and could take no more, I finally slipped into darkness and away from all the pain. I must have blacked out for a few hours, when I woke I was alone, it was also daylight. 

“Alex we need to get out of here.”

” Great I take it you got what you wanted, if you haven’t noticed I ‘m cuffed to the fuckin bed.”

“Yes I will have to try and think of something.”

“Why didn’t you enter Skinner and UN cuff me earlier on.”

“Because he would then have been aware of my presence, also your body would have been too weak to move.”

“Yeah well that’s thanks to you, you’re the one who keeps putting me in these situations.”

“I don’t know why this comes as a surprise to you, I already told you that your body has other uses.”

“Yeah to be fucked over in more ways than one, my body is a fuckin mess now and covered in bruises.”

“You will be of use to me until I no longer need you, if your body fails me I will have to use your dear Fox.”

“Like hell you will.”

“You have no power over what I do Alex.”

I drifted in and out of sleep, I’d hardly had any sleep at all over the last few days. I woke to the voice of some female talking to me. 

“Sir are you okay, Mr Skinner had said to leave this room as your his guest. I just thought I’d check you were okay while I was here, also to see if I can get you anything.”

Yeah good old Walter had made sure he’d covered over the cuffs, however I was surprised when the alien replied to her. 

“A coffee would be good.”

“Very well Sir.”

“What the fuck are you doing now?”

“I told you Alex that I need to leave here.”

She came back with the cup of coffee, then the black oil flowed out of me into her.

Fuckin great, even the alien was ditching me now. 

“You can’t leave me here; shit Skinner will be back soon.”

“I’m sorry but I need to relay the information back to my own planet.”

“You fuckin bastard.”

I could do nothing but lay there, worse was that I knew Skinner would eventually come home. Time was going by fast, I couldn’t reach either the phone or my clothes anyway.

It was then that I heard the key in the door, then I heard Skinner as he came upstairs. 

“Skinner I need to call Fox, shit it’s urgent.”

“I see that you’ve found your voice once more Krycek.”

“Fuck you Skinner, just get me a bloody phone.”

Shit he backhanded me and split my lip open. 

“Don’t swear at my Krycek, well not if you know what’s good for you anyway.”

“Fuck you Skinner, I fuckin hate you and you’re nothing but a fuckin bastard.”

“You really do have a death wish don’t you.”

  
With that he was on me and punched me in the stomach, then he turned me over. Shit please not this again, Skinner was shoving his fingers deep in my backside once more. 

“Get the fuck off me Skinner, I swear that I’ll kill you.”  
“Oh don’t worry I’ll leave you alone for now, however your backside will soon be mine once more. I’m having a quick shower first, then I plan on fucking you hard boy.”

I watched as Skinner went into the bathroom, I then listened until he’d turned the shower on. It was then that I reached under the pillow, there lay the mobile phone I’d stolen out of his pocket. A quick check on his phone and I had the number I wanted, I dialled the number and just waited. 

“Mulder here.”

“Fox it’s me.”

“Alex where are you?”

“Skinner's place.”

“You’ve got to be fucking joking, so that’s who you’re shacked up with.”

“Fox I haven’t been seeing anyone, please Lover come and get me as it’s not what you think.”

“Why should I Alex?”

“Because I love you Fox and I love my Son, all I want is to come back home.”

“Alex you were the one who chose to leave me.”

“Please Fox, Skinner has me cuffed to his fuckin bed.”

“What’s up Alex, are your little games not going as you planned?”

“Please Fox if you won’t do it for me, do it for my son as he needs me.”

“You should have thought about him sooner Alex, if I do decide to come it will be to sort this mess out. I want an end to it Alex, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust you now, especially after sleeping with Skinner.”

“God Fox do you ever shut up and listen.”

“It’s listening to you Alex that got me where I am now.”

“Fox Skinner’s coming out of the bathroom, I love you so much Lover. I have to hang up, please Fox if you love me at all come and get me.”

I was left with no choice but to hang up, I had no idea if Fox would even come and get me. Skinner just strolled into the room and grabbed a robe. 

“I’m just off to get a scotch, then Alex we can have some fun together.”

“Fuck you Skinner.”

“In your dreams boy.”

A short time later I heard someone knock on Skinner door, then all I could hear was muffled voices. The voices seemed to be getting louder, then suddenly the bedroom door burst open. 

“Shit Skinner what the hell did you do to him.”

“Nothing Mulder, well nothing that he didn’t ask for anyway.”

“Shit he’s covered in blood and some bruises.”

“He was beat up like that when he arrived.”

“Alex can you talk to me, come on please babe it’s Fox.”

“Fox you came for me.”

“Alex despite what you’ve done I do love you and Lexi needs you, I just can’t be with you now not after this.”

“Fox please I haven’t done anything, you and Lexi are my whole world.”

“Alex how can I believe you, shit you just disappear then turn back up when you wanted something. Hell you wouldn’t even talk to me; you wouldn’t even pick up your own son.”

“Please Fox listen.”

“Then just to top it off you turn up here in his bed, the fuckin room reeks of sex Alex.”

“Shit Fox you won’t even hear me out will you, that’s all I’m asking of you please.”

” Fine I will hear you out, but I want you to shower first Alex.”

“Please Fox just hear me out then I’ll shower and clean up.”

“Fine Alex, Skinner give me the key for the cuffs.”

Fox removed the cuffs from my really sore wrists, I threw myself into his arms and sobbed like a baby. 

“Jesus Alex what the hell is with you?”

“Fox I love you so much, shit I thought that I might never get to see you again. You remember in the past back in Hong Kong, when I was a host for the black oil. You also know that I still carry traces in my body, that I carry the alien D.N.A. 

“Yes Alex I know all that, I just don’t know what that has to do with you two timing me.”

“I haven’t two timed you Fox, it came back and took my body once more.”

“Look at me Alex, I want to see your face so I know whether you’re lying or not.”

“Shit lying, God I wish I was fuckin lying. The alien took me back to Spender who’s still alive, I then had to suffer been fist fucked by that cancerous bastard. Then the alien took me once more and took me home, it was always in control Fox not me.”

“Calm down Alex, God you’re serious aren’t you Babe.”

“Yes Fox I’m serious, do you know how it felt to see you so upset like that. I also had to stand there and watch my son cry, because the alien wouldn’t let me touch him.”

“Why Alex?”

“I’d begged the alien not to touch you or Lexi, I was scared it would hurt you both.”

“Jesus Alex I’m so sorry, however that still doesn’t explain how you ended up here.”

“It brought me here as Skinner had something it wanted, it just used me to get where it needed to be.”

“Yet you slept with Skinner.”

“Fox it wasn’t me, the alien realized it could use my body to get what it wanted. It grabbed Skinner by the balls and came on to him.”

“So what then, Skinner raped you is that it?”

“Let it go Fox, Skinner didn’t know about the alien. It would appear to Skinner that I was leading him on and wanted it. Skinner also believed that I deserved it for cheating on you.”

“It’s still no excuse for rape Alex.”

“I’m fine Fox, I just want to go home and see my son.”

“So where’s the alien now Babe.”

“It had to find other transport as I was cuffed to the bed, so it just left my body and took Skinners maid.”

“Okay come on sit up Babe.”

I saw the look of horror on my lovers face, Fox couldn’t help but notice all the blood. 

“Alex do you need a Doctor?”

“I’ll be fine Fox; you might have to help me get dressed though.”

“Of course I will Alex, God I’m sorry that I never believed you Babe.”

“Shit Fox I wouldn’t have believed a story like that either, just don’t ever presume the worst Fox as we’re in this together for life.”

“God I love you Babe and I’ve missed you so much.”

“Same Lover, so where’s Lexi at the moment?”

“I had to drop him off with Scully.”

“As long as he’s okay.”

“He’s fine Alex, God it’s you Babe that needs some help.”

“It’s okay I just thought I’d never see either of you again.”

“Did you mean it Alex about Spender?”

“Yeah he’s well and truly alive, he got to have fun with me while the alien was away. Shit Fox you thought I couldn’t walk properly because I was two timing you, Shit Spender fucked me hard with his whole fist.”

I couldn’t stop the tears any longer as I was so fucked up, all I’d wanted was to be happy with Fox and my son.

“Hey I ‘ve got you now Babe, come on you’re okay now. God Alex I am sorry that you had to suffer this.”

“Spender had his videos, I was his main star in them. Imagine his face when he got me back, he could touch and abuse me all over again.”

“He seems to be infatuated with you Alex, however he’s a fuckin animal and will end up killing you just for his amusement.”

“I know Fox; I don’t ever want to have to see him again.”

“Can you stand up Babe.”

“Shit this is humiliating Fox, not even been able to dress myself.”

“Alex it doesn’t make you less of a man Babe, most people would have given up ages ago. You’ve suffered so much in your life Alex; hell I’m surprised your still sane.”

“It was only the thought of you and Lexi that kept me going, without the two of you I would have given up by now.”

“We’ll always be here for you Alex, come on let’s get your tee shirt and jacket on.”

I stood while Fox finished dressing me, then it was finally time to go back home. 

“Fox where’s Skinner?”

“It’s okay he’s out there, you don’t have to see him Alex.”

“I want to see him.”

“Alex do you think that’s a good idea?”

“It’s something I need to do Fox, I need to feel like I’m still in control of my mind and body.”

“Okay come on then Babe let’s go.”

We went down stairs to find Skinner sat in an armchair, I also noticed the bottle of scotch in his hand. 

“Skinner pay attention to me, you won’t find the answer in the bottom of that bottle.”

“I know what I did was wrong, it was unforgivable and I’m truly sorry.”

“The alien didn’t help Skinner, it used my body to get what it wanted. I know that you thought I was hurting Fox and I accept that, however make sure you don’t ever touch me again.”

“I swear to you both that it won’t ever happen again, I can see now how much you mean to each other.”

We were just about to leave Skinners apartment, however the door opened and the maid walked in. I started backing as far away as possible, please god not the alien again. 

“Alex what’s wrong, come on Babe its okay.”

“It’s the fuckin alien not the maid, get it away from me Fox.”

Skinner stood and went to grab the maid but he was too slow, so he pulled his gun out and aimed at the maid. 

“Skinner don’t, you can’t hurt it.”

“What do you mean?”

“You will kill the maid that’s all, the alien will leave her body unaffected.”

It seemed strange to hear the alien speak in the maid’s voice. 

“You Mr Skinner would be wise to listen to him, that or you will be responsible for the death of the maid. As for you Alex I need your body again.”

“You ask like you’re asking to borrow a cup of sugar or something, you left me trapped here so go find someone else to use.”

“You already have the black oil and my D.N.A that makes you a strong vessel that’s already linked to me. The females body was only useful as a temporary measure, I need you so I can get home.”

“Fuck you, your home is the same place that Spender resides nowadays.”

“I’m sorry however you have no choice Alex, your body belongs to me now and I will warn Spender.”

I stood and watched horrified as the oil seeped out of the maid, it then slowly made its way across the floor towards me. 

“Alex what will happen if it can’t enter your body.”

“It’s pointless Fox, it would just go into another body and track me down. The alien is right Fox; it can take my body whenever it wants it.”

“Alex you can’t, not if Spender’s there as shit he will kill you Alex.”

As the oil got near I hugged and kissed Fox, shit I really didn’t want to let go as it might be the last time. 

“Look after yourself Fox and take care of Lexi for me, I love you and just pray that I’ll see you again soon.”

I was suddenly unable to talk as the alien took over once more. It then just turned and walked out of Skinners apartment. 

“Great so when you get home why can’t you just send me back; shit why do you have to leave me with Spender.”

“Spender helps us, in return we do as he asks.”

“I’d rather be dead than have him touch me again.”

“It’s just as well I’m the one in charge of your body then.”

The alien drove out towards a field, which was when the space ship became visible again. 

  
“I don’t suppose I can talk you out of this.”

“No, I am needed back home. We might have found a way to colonize your planet, however Jeramiah’s little group has slowed down our plans.”

“Ha I’m glad he succeeded.”

“It’s only a temporary setback I assure you.”

“If you say so.”

The ships doors opened, soon we were on-board and on our journey back to the Devil himself. The alien tried to talk to me on the way back, however I just refused to answer it. My body was already battered; I also knew it would only get worse when Spender got hold of me.

Soon we arrived at our destination, the alien departed the ship and went straight to Spender. 

“Can’t you just stay inside me, please don’t let him have me.”

“I’m sorry but this is how it has to be.”

“You lousy fuckin bastard.”

The alien ignored me as it turned to talk to Spender. 

“I can tell from his memories that you have caused him great pain, I’ve already warned you Spender that he has to be kept functional.”

“You would do well to remember your place and stay out of my affairs, he was fully functional last time he left here.”

“Very well have him strapped down then, that way I can leave his body and him to you.”

“How about you save me some time, it will also make up for your verbal outburst.”

“Fine what is it you want Spender.”

“You can strip fully before laying down, then when he’s naked and restrained you can leave.”

“Very well.”

Fuck the alien started removing all of my clothes, While Spender couldn’t take his eyes off my body. I wanted to be anywhere but here, shit I knew that he would make me suffer yet again. As soon as my wrists were strapped down the alien left my body, now I was in Spenders hands once more. 

“It’s good to have you back Alex.”

“Fuck you Spender.”

“You my dear boy really need to be taught a lesson.”

“Ha what by you?”

“You have such a clever mouth on you Alex, however one day you’ll dig your own grave with it.”

“Do your best Spender, you’re nothing but an old stupid black lunged bastard.”

Shit Spender grabbed me by the balls and squeezed tight, fuck the pain was immense.

 “You want to hope that I don’t get bored of you Alex, because when I do I’ll take great pleasure in taking you apart.”

“Only if I don’t take you out first old man.”

“Just remember who’s the one with the power around here, because it most certainly isn’t you Alex. Oh and while you were away I’ve been very busy; I’ve managed to obtain many toys that I can use on you.”

“Go to Hell.”

“You will be the one in Hell Alex, I will guarantee that here and now. Firstly, I will have someone come and clean you up, I can smell another man on you and you’re mine. No one will ever touch you again, not even your precious Fox.”

I lay there and closed my eyes, to be humiliated while I was scrubbed and washed by his goons. Finally, one of them went in search of Spender, they needed his approval that I was clean enough. 

“Very good he smells far better now, at least he no longer smells like another man. I want him to be taken to the basement, you can use the restraints that are there.”

The minute the restraints were moved I lashed out. I was too weak against two of them and never stood a chance, one of them punched me and knocked me out. I woke sometime later; shit things were starting to look far worse now.

I found myself in a cold dark basement all alone, I was also tied up once more. My arms were stretched above my head, then they were fastened to a chain that hung down. My ankles were also cuffed to two metal rings in the cement.

I knew that I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. My body was so stretched that I had very little movement. Beyond that it was far too dark to see anything else, shit it reminded me far too much of that dam silo. Soon however I could smell smoke, which was when I knew I was no longer alone. 

“Have you settled in to your new home Alex.”

“Fuck you, the alien will be back the minute it needs me.”

“You’re so mistaken Alex, you see the alien no longer needs your body.”

“You’re lying Spender.”

“It’s back home Alex, it has no intention of returning back to earth so this is now your home too and I’m your new master.”

“Never, I won’t do anything you say Spender.”  
“I’ll have you were I want you soon, you will be begging me soon for everything.”

“In your dreams.”

“I think you can start by spending some time alone.”

Shit when Spender left he fully closed the door behind him, now I was left in total darkness. The place was also so cold like the silo, shit it was then that I started to have a panic attack. Fuck I tried taking deep breaths, by the time Spender returned I could hardly breathe. 

“You look in a bad way dear boy; would you like me to help you?”

“Don’t touch me.”

Now the door was open I started breathing better, shit I hadn’t had a panic attack in ages. 

“Oh I will be touching you Alex, however we’ll have to sort something out first. I don’t want you dying on me, well not yet anyway.”

“I would rather be dead than have you touch me.”

“You’re gorgeous Alex, I’m not ready to get rid of you just yet.”

Spender started running his hands along my chest, then he pinched my nipple really hard. The man’s fingers were very rough as he squeezed even harder. 

“Look Alex your nipples are standing to attention for me just like you will soon.”

“In your dreams, it’s the cold you sad fucker.”

“Alex what am I going to do with you?”

“Let me go.”

“Not likely, you smell so good and I just want to taste you.”

Spender started sucking on my hard nipple, Jesus I had no way of escaping his mouth. Soon he started to get even rougher with me, I could feel his teeth against the tender bud. I knew how Spenders mind worked, one false move on my part and he’d bite it off. 

“You taste so good Alex; God I can’t get enough of you.”

Shit then I felt his rough finger against my ass, suddenly he forced it deep inside me dry. 

“Fuck, oh fuck Jesus no.”

“Are you turned on yet Alex?”

“It fuckin hurts you bastard, shit you ripped me apart last time with your fucking fist.”

“You’re so hot Alex when you scream and moan. Come on Alex scream for your new Master.”

“Like fuck.”

“Fine have it your own way then.”

Shit Spender removed his finger and then left, however when he returned he had something with him. I’d come to the conclusion that Spender was nothing but a pervert, there he stood with the vibrator they’d used on me in the lab.

It was the one with many spikes on the end, Spender must know that it would tear me apart, maybe he was just trying to scare me even more.

“You will scream for me Alex.”

“Go screw yourself.”

“Well you had your chance Alex.”

“Shit you can’t use that on me, you and Skinner have already torn me apart between you.”

“Ha so that’s who you smelt of earlier, I have to wonder whether it was a willing act on your part.”

“Yeah right, he’s nothing but a raping bastard like you.”

“I won’t have you speak to me like that Alex.”

I was surprised that Spender actually used lube on the thing, I guess he didn’t want to damage his property just yet. 

“It’s your choice Alex, it’s going in one way or another. It would be far less painful if you just relaxed.”

I tried my hardest to will my body to relax, yet I felt the pain instantly and that was just the tip, shit I knew this was going to hurt no matter what.

Tears were streaming down my face, yet Spender never stopped or slowed down until it was fully inside me. Fuck the pain was unbearable and I knew I couldn’t take much more; shit I couldn’t hold back the scream any longer. 

“I knew you’d scream for me, does it hurt yet Alex?”

“You fuckin bastard.”

“Are you crying, god I’m so turned on at the moment you know.”

“Please I can’t stand the pain any longer.”

“I’ve only just started Alex, look at all that mess you’ve made with all that blood.”

“You fuckin bastard I’m begging you to stop, what more do you want from me.”

“Everything Alex until you can take no more, maybe then in a few years I will have your son to replace you.”

“You stay the hell away from my family.”

“Did you think it would be that easy Alex, I knew all about you and Jeramiah? You are a traitor towards me and you want sympathy. Did you really just think you could move on, play happy families with your lover and son.”

“I just wanted a normal life.”

“You’re mine Alex and always will be.”

“You could have anyone out there, why did it have to be me?”

“Because you are gorgeous and the one I wanted, I always get what I want sooner or later Alex.”

“I would rather die than belong to you.”

“That’s what it might come to if you don’t behave, shall we see if we can get this to go any further inside you?”

Spender carried on fucking me with the vibrator until I couldn’t take any more, I finally passed out from the excessive pain. My escape from reality was shorted lived, Spender slapped me hard then just carried on, shit I could feel every spike tearing at my flesh and could hardly stand up anymore.

Finally, Spender had got his kicks for now, he ordered his goons to come and strap me back on the bed. I then had one of them throw a blanket over me, then I was left alone and back in the darkness once more.

I hardly had the strength to move at all, also my throat was now red raw from all the screaming. I didn’t even remember much about the time I was alone, I could hardly stay conscious and kept blacking out.

I didn’t even see the point of fighting it anymore, especially now I was of no use to the alien anymore. Shit I most probably would never get back home again, this seemed destined to be my life now.

Death would be far better than suffering like this, I didn’t want to have a long life if all I was only a sex toy for Spender. Even more humiliation was to come, I had to lay there and piss myself, it seemed like I’d been alone for hours, but that was better than having Spender here.

I thought of Fox and my son, I also thought about how I’d never get to see them again. They meant everything to me, I’d loved Fox for so many years and finally had him.

I would never feel my lover’s arms around me again, or hold my son in my own arms. Maybe all those years ago Jeramiah should have left me to die, shit my whole life had been pain and suffering right up to Fox and my son.

I just hoped that if I end up in Hell my own Father isn’t there with me, at least my own son had Fox who loved him so much.

Finally, Spenders goons returned, I was then hung back in the same position as before. One of the men threw a bucket of water over me, that was the only wash I was going to get and it was freezing.

Then I was left alone again, shit just waiting to be used once more. It didn’t take long for Spender to appear, God how I would just love to wipe that smile off his face. 

“Well I gave you a break Alex, I am now also going to give you two choices and want you to pick one.”

“How generous of you.”

“Yes I rather that it was too. You can remain here in this basement as my pet, or you can live alongside me as my lover?”

“You’re off your fuckin rocker.”

“Mark my words Alex, I will break you sooner or later, either way it will happen.”

I remained quiet, deep down I was scared that he might just be right. To go to Spenders bed willingly would be the ultimate betrayal to Fox.

I was so out of it I hadn’t even noticed the whip, well that changed the minute he hit me with it. I screamed as the whip came down over and over again, my back was in absolute agony now.

It was then that he moved lower to my backside and thighs, god and then the whip caught my balls and I started screaming again.  
I wanted all of this to just end, it was really starting to scare me that I might just give in to him.

I had to fight Spender right up to the end, even if it meant never seeing my family again. 

“Come on Alex stay awake.”

Suddenly Spender had me by the throat, shit I was struggling so hard just to stay focused on him. 

“Is this what you want Alex, you want me to finish it for you. You’ll be shown no mercy, the only way you will leave here is dead, that or become my lover.”

“That will never happen Spender, I will never come to you willingly.”

“Really, you can hardly stand up now.”

Spender called his goons back into the room, apparently he wanted me to be moved yet again. On the plus side it meant he’d finished whipping me, with any luck he might leave me alone for a while.

They strapped me back down on the bed, however this time I found myself face down as they put me on my stomach. I was quiet relieved as I never wanted the bed near my sore back, I then felt the cool liquid on my back then my ass. It had felt good, well that was until Spender shoved his finger deep inside me. 

“I plan to fuck you so hard Alex.”

“Jesus no please anything but that, you can’t please I’ll do anything you want.”

“Become my lover Alex.”

“Never, I’d rather be dead than betray Fox.”

“Have it your way, don’t worry I’ll be gentle with you Alex.”

Suddenly Spender was on top of me, the pain was agony as he pressed against my skin. I no longer knew what hurt worse inside my backside or my whipped back.

 My ass was ripped apart and agony when he fucked me, yet every time he moved my back also hurt. It was as if someone was using sandpaper against my skin, I stopped screaming as my throat was also sore, I no longer had the strength to fight anymore.

My mind and body both just wanted to shut down, I was making this strange sound as he forced himself in and out of me. He scratched my back hard as he came, it was then that I found the energy to scream once more.

Suddenly the freezing cold water woke me up, I soon realized this time I was in a shower. Spender was stood there washing my body, shit I hated this man more than anything. I would have thrown up all over him, however I couldn’t even remember when I last ate or drank. 

“Come on Alex, I need you clean to take you into my bed.”

“No please don’t do this.”

“You need to eat and rest Alex, you need to recover somewhat.”

“What just so you can do it all again.”

“You need to accept that this is your life now.”

“I’ll never accept this ever, also I’ll never accept you as my lover.”

“Time will tell, come on let’s get you dried off now.”

“Don’t touch me, shit you make me want to throw up.”

“I seriously doubt you have the strength to dry yourself, you need my help Alex.”

“I only need help because you made me this way, I would rather die than have you touch me.”

Spender grabbed me hard by the hair. 

“Get on that fuckin bed now, you’re really trying my patience boy.”

I was dragged over to the bed and shoved on it, Spender then had me cuffed to the bedpost. He was really rough as he dried me, he also kept touching my cock and trying to make it hard. 

“You can have some water to begin with, if it stays down I will let you try some food.”

“Gee thank you so fuckin much.”

“Alex behave yourself as we need to get some cream on your wounds, you have to learn that you’re not intimidating to anyone anymore.”

I managed to keep some water down, all I wanted to do was sleep. I started smacking my head against the bedpost, suddenly I could no longer hold the tears back. I was so emotionally unstable at the moment, I started to believe that Spender would break me after all. 

“Alex stop that now; I have to go attend a meeting. You behave and get some rest and I’ll be back later.”

“Hey you don’t have to bother coming back on my account.”

Fuck the slap across my backside hurt. 

“What the fuck was that for?”

“You know what it was for, I will think of a better punishment for you while I’m gone.”

I heard the door shut behind Spender, however I was far too tired to even move anymore.

Fox had come for me, he held me in his arms and would make everything right. He kissed me gently on the lips and stroked my hair, it felt so good to be back with my lover. Fox wanted to make love to me, I was scared it would hurt me far more but I wanted this. I wanted Fox to reclaim me, I wanted him to make me his once more. 

“I love you so much Fox, make love to me Lover and make me yours.”

Fuck the punch I received winded me, shit the pain was like my insides were getting ripped out. What the fuck was that for, then I opened my eyes to see Spender and knew it’d just been a dream.

 “Don’t you dare mention his name, especially in my bed.”

“Why you can do what you want Spender, but you’ll never have my love and respect in return.”

“No but I’ll have everything else, I’ll have you Alex. What has Fox got now, nothing that’s what.”

“He has my son; he’ll also have me again one day.”

“What like you’ve just found out Alex, you will only ever have Fox when you’re dreaming? You are mine Alex and always will be, I will make sure you never see Fox or your son again.”

I struggled to hold back the tears, the bastard could destroy me with his words alone. I could see no way out of this at all, I had no fight left at all now and wanted Spender to just finish it.

“If you stay willingly it could be good, look I could make you like it.”

“You could only make it good if you let me go.”

“How about I give you a blow job, get you nice and hard so you can fuck me.”

“Fuck you, you haven’t got a hope in hell of that happening.”

I felt Spender crawl down the bed, shit then I felt his warm mouth around my cock. He worked his best to get me hard, he then took hold of my balls and was sucking them. He could work on me as long as he wanted, however there was no way I’d be fucking him.

“Your so sexy Alex, God and you taste delicious.”

“Please there’s no point.”

“Of course there’s a point Alex.”

“You can’t make me fuck you Spender.”

“We will see dear boy.”

Spender went back to sucking my cock. My body was way too tired to even push him off, also I couldn’t stop my cock getting hard from all the attention.

Jesus this couldn’t be happening to me, not now or not with him. I wanted to throw up at the thought, it was then that my breathing became worse. Meanwhile Spender just carried on with it, he thought the noises were because I was turned on. 

“Come for me Alex, you will feel so much better if you do.”

“Never, shit you sick fuck I can hardly breathe.”

I could no longer talk and started clawing at Spender, he was to finally realize I wasn’t joking. 

“You sure pick your times, just hold on a minute Alex.”

Shit he placed a cock ring on me before he helped me, the bastard was making sure I stayed hard. 

“Breathe Alex, otherwise I might have to find someone else.”

“Don’t let me stop you.”

“Okay how about Fox Mulder, he’s young and seems healthy enough.”

“You stay the fuck away from him.”

“You had better buck your ideas up then Alex, otherwise talk will become reality.”

I really didn’t want to do this; however I knew it was the only time Spender would get off me. When he removed the cock ring I came, my heart broke as it felt like I’d just betrayed Fox. 

“I will have someone bring you some food Alex, then I want you to get plenty of rest.”

“I don’t want any food.”

“You’ve had nothing for days, you must try even if it’s just a small amount.”

“Fuck you.”

“Why does it feel like I’m going in circles, you act worse than a spoilt child.”

Spender walked out of the room into the adjoining shower, soon I had some company and some food. The goon put the tray down, he then picked up the plate. 

“Come on, my orders are to make sure you eat it all.”

“Fuck off and leave me alone.”

“You have to eat it.”

“No I don’t and you won’t make me.”

I kicked out and knocked the plate to the floor, the food went all over the carpet. 

“You little shit.”

“Get the fuck away from me then.”

“I should make you eat it off the floor.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Suddenly the door burst open and Spender reappeared, he was looking rather pissed off now. 

“What the hell’s going on in here?”

“He’s refusing to eat the food Sir, he kicked the plate onto the floor.”

“Is he now, well we’ll see about that won’t we. Scoop some of it up and pass it here.”

Spender took some of the food and tried force feeding me, all he got in return was it all over him. He grabbed me hard by the throat and pressed hard, shit he nearly cut off all my oxygen. 

“I’m getting sick and tired of your little games Alex, believe me I won’t let you starve to death. You think it will all end if you don’t give in, well you’re wrong.”

“Fuck you.”

“Right this has gone on for far too long, I want him fully strapped down right now.”

“Yes Sir, is that all or will there be anything else?”

“I want you to find the Doctor, I want him putting on a drip.”

“Very well I’ll go arrange it.”

“Oh just one more thing.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Tell the Doctor I also want a catheter fitted.”

“Very well.”

I tried so hard to fight them, but it was just a total waste of time and effort. Soon I found myself spread eagled on the bed and in full restraints. Soon a Doctor appeared and set up a drip, he then inserted the catheter inside me with more force than necessary. 

“Just remember you brought this on yourself Alex.”

“Can’t you just let me die?”

“No sorry I like you breathing at the moment.”

I turned my head to look away from them all, this was now my life strapped down and forced to stay alive. All I wanted was to die without him touching me again, God just the thought of his hands on my skin.

I also knew that he might keep his word and take Fox, then my son would also be left alone without protection. Maybe I should have talked Jeramiah into keeping Lexi, at least that way he’d be safe.

Everything had been going so well, we were a family with a new home, maybe I’d been the idiot for taking Fox in the first place. I knew that the smoker would see it as my weakness and use Fox to get at me.

I knew that Spender wanted me as his loyal little pet, someone he could fuck whenever he wanted. God I hated Spenders voice, yet I could hear him in the background talking about me. 

“How long will the drip take to work; I don’t want him looking like some malnourished creature.”

“It will take a few days for him to recover, you have to remember that he’ll also get some of his strength back too.”

“I’m well aware of that, I will look forward to him recovering soon. The fight in him was always a huge turn on.”

“There is a faster way Sir.”

“What would that entail?”

“Putting him in a coma, he would recover in no time if he was forced to rest.”

“Very well do it then, I expect results soon though.”

“Yes Sir.”

I had thought about protesting, yet this way no one would be able to hurt me. Hopefully if I recovered enough I could at least go down fighting, been the man I once was before all this.

I had no idea how long I’d been in the induced coma; I knew that I wasn’t in as much pain as before. I guess that’s what happens when you’re forced to eat and sleep. I had to wonder if they expected me to still be in the coma, I sat up and realized there were no longer any restraints.

I had no idea if I could even stand, also if I got out of the room where I’d go. I couldn’t get home on my own, somehow I didn’t think an alien would want to help either. I decided what the hell, I swung my legs on to the floor and stood up, and I was a little off balance but generally okay. I took a good look around the room and found myself alone.

Shit the only things of any use were the wires, I knew how to strangle someone if I really had to. I stood behind the door and waited, soon a nurse entered the room to check on me. As soon as she was in the room I grabbed her, I then pulled the wire around her throat. 

“One false move and I’ll strangle you, do you understand me?”

“Yes I understand, what do you want?”

“I want your Boss, pick up the intercom and get him to come here.”

“He won’t come.”

“Just tell him that I’m awake.”

“Fine just don’t hurt me.”

“You say one wrong word and I’ll pull it tight.”

“Yeah okay.”

She used the intercom to tell him I was awake from the coma, and he might want to come and see me. 

“Go inside the toilet, if you alert Spender at all you’re dead. If you behave you will get to live, are we clear on that?”

“Crystal clear.”

I took my place back behind the door and kept the wire ready, all I had to do then was wait for Spender to come. As soon as he walked through the door I moved fast. 

“One wrong move and you’re dead Spender.”

“It’s nice to see you back up and on your feet Alex, I take it you’re feeling so much better now.”

“Don’t fuckin dare try my patience Spender?”

I pulled the wire tighter around his throat, I despised this man more than anyone else. I figured that I had nothing to lose now, the worst they could do was kill me. I no longer had anything to live for, this time I planned to take Spender with me. 

“You fuckin bastard, I fuckin hate you.”

Shit I’d thought that he would just come alone, I was suddenly grabbed by one of his goons while the other punched me. Spender had fallen to his knees and was struggling to breathe.

Meanwhile I was treated no better than a punching bag, then I heard Spender and knew he was still alive. 

“Get him restrained now.”

“Yes Sir.”

Spender pulled himself up and walked out, as for me I was restrained once more. I was dreading Spender returning, I knew that he would want to punish me now more than ever. Nobody got one over on Spender, and no one got to walk away if he was pissed off.

My stomach hurt like hell, I also had a split lip yet again. I could hardly see out of one eye, shit my face was a mass of cuts and bruises. Soon Spender returned with his goons in tow. 

“Get him out of here now, I meant restrain him in the basement not here.”

I was dragged back into that cold dark place; Jesus I’d freeze to death if left here. I was then re cuffed back in the centre of the basement, I hated this place more than anywhere as it was so much like the silo.

I knew I’d be lucky if I ever got out of here now, I knew that I’d pissed off Spender and he would make sure I knew how much.

“Why is it Alex that you have to try me? You test my patience all the time and always have. You had the looks and the charm, I could have given you anything and treat you so well. Now however things have changed when I’ve finished with you you’ll wish you’d never been born.”

“I already wish that now, and you would never have given me what I wanted. All I ever wanted was my freedom and to be with Fox.”

“Things are going to get far worse Alex; however, I guarantee you that it won’t be a fast death you suffer.”

“Just get it over with then.”

“I had wanted you to accept your place here, however you have become more trouble than you’re worth.”

“I’ll never accept it so forget it.”

“Very well, one of you bring me the whip.”

Great so that was how Spender planned to punish me.

 “You’ll suffer for what you have done Alex; believe me this is just the start of your slow painful demise.”

I screamed as the whip came down on me, I was far beyond caring anymore. I knew from the pain that my back would be a mess now, Spender was using the whip to release all his anger, while I just happened to be the one at the end of the whip.

I personally wouldn’t have expected Spender to have that much strength, he must have whipped me over twenty times and I kept passing out. It was only my arms that kept me up, I’d lost all feeling in them some time ago.

Spender went on to whip me a few more times then threw the whip down, while I was just left hung there.

“How’s it feel now Alex, pissing me off wasn’t one of your brightest ideas.”

“Please I need some water.”

“It’s too late now Alex, you went too far this time for your own good. This place will be the last place you ever see; it will eventually become your tomb.”

“At least it will be over.”  
“Don’t worry I’m planning to have lots of fun with you before then, I already told you it will be slow and painful. You two get him cut down now.”

I fell to the floor in a heap, I was then left alone as they all walked out. After some time had passed I managed to crawl into a corner, I just curled up in a tight ball and stayed there.

Once before Spender had made the silo into my tomb, yet I was released later on. I was left to wonder if it would be the same this time, or maybe I would finally be left to die.

I had no idea how long I’d even been here, everything was a blur since the alien took me. I wondered if Fox was still missing me and if my son even remembered me. Maybe this was for the best anyway and they’d be better off, I wanted them to be happy and I always messed things up.

The hunger pains started to get far worse, I was now just a prisoner stuck in my own fuckin body. My mind was ready to pass on, now all I needed was for my body also to give in, finally I fell into a very troubled sleep.

I woke up sometime later screaming, shit I was back trapped in that silo once more. I suddenly remembered exactly where I was, God this was even worse than my nightmare. I realized that I could smell smoke, I had no idea how long he’d been down here, or if he’d seen my weakness. 

“Alex can you hear me?”

“Leave me alone.”

“You’re not getting off that easy, are you listening to me at all Alex?”

“I’m trying not to.”

Fuck I screamed from the fresh wave of pain, Spender had just ground out his cigarette on my leg. 

“You fuckin bastard.”

“Well at least I got your attention.”

“What the hell do you want from me?”

“You know what I want Alex, but you refuse to give it to me.”

“Can’t you just go away and leave me to die in peace.”

“Sorry but where would the fun be in that.”

Spender started running his hand along my backside, it wasn't long before he had two fingers inside me. 

“Maybe I should use my fist again, you liked that didn't you Alex.”

“Fuck no please don’t.”

It didn't matter what I said any more, Spender would just do whatever he wanted to me. 

“Maybe I’ll have another cigarette first then decide.”

I felt him withdraw his fingers from inside me, then he just casually sat back and smoked the dam thing. Even after he smoked it he just sat there, he was just staring at me all the time. Suddenly he was back beside me, he then just carried on where he left off.

Spender finally lit another cigarette, he had one hand holding that while his other one was inside me. I started moaning as he worked his full fist inside me, the invasion was unbearable as he stretched his fist out.

He kept fucking me with his fist, but even I hadn’t been expecting his next move. It was then that I finally passed out from the pain, the bastard had just put is cigarette out on my balls.

When I finally came back round I was alone, Spender had gone and I was so glad it had ended for now. Some time had passed and I was just sat on the cold floor, the bed had gone some time ago and I had to sit in my own filth.

I kept passing out and knew death would be coming soon, Spender had returned a couple more times to abuse me.  
The next time Spender came he never touched me, he just stood there watching me. 

“Do you know what you smell like Alex?”

“I’m sure you’ll tell me.”

“Aside from the human bodily smell that is, you smell of death Alex.”

“Hopefully I won’t have long to wait then.”

“You have septicaemia Alex, very soon it will turn to gangrene.”

“I’ll be dead long before that happens.”

“I can end all of this right now, say the word and you could be cleaned up and out of here.”

“The word’s no Spender and it always will be.”

“I will return in a few hours Alex, if your answer remains the same that door will be closed for good.”

“You might as well save yourself the trip, I won’t change my mind.”

“I will see you soon Alex.”

“And I’ll just talk to my fuckin self as usual.”

Spender would never listen to anyone else, he was always right no matter what anyone said to him. It was sometime later that he kept his word and returned, he still believed he could get me to change my mind. 

“Well Alex I’m giving you another chance, have you reached a decision yet?”

“Go to Hell as I’ll never choose you.”

Spender lashed out and back handed me, I was too weak to do anything at all. 

“Look what you’ve made me do, it wasn’t meant to end this way.”

“It’s too late now anyway.”

“Oh it’s never too late Alex.”

Spender got up and walked out, he never spoke as he slammed the door shut behind him. I kept blacking out and knew it would end soon, at least I’d finally be at peace.

I woke sometime later to find myself in a bed, great was this what Hell looked like. Shit that’s when I smelt the thing I’d grown to hate; the room stank of cigarette smoke. 

“Please tell me this is a nightmare?”

“No Alex, you’re still very much alive and well.”

“Why Spender when I was nearly dead anyway?”

“I decided that everyone deserves a second chance, you belong to me Alex and I love you.”

“What a fuckin joke, you don’t love anyone but yourself Spender. I’m just a fuckin possession to you that’s all.”

“It’s not like that at all, I was unable to just watch you die.”

“So what the fuck did you do Spender?”

“We have a prisoner who’s like Jeramiah, he’s a healer Alex and he was forced to fully heal you.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to be healed.”

“It would have been such a waste Alex, just to let you die when you didn’t have too.”

“So what happens now, I guess it all starts again.”

“You have the chance to change the outcome this time.”

“My decision was final Spender.”

“Well I guess I’ll have fun trying to get you to change your mind.”

“It won’t work, so I’m going to have to suffer it all again.”

“Alex you’re fully healed; however I’m forced to keep you restrained at all times. I don’t want to risk you causing me any more damage.”

“So I will be kept like your little fuckin pet.”

“That will be up to you Alex, firstly you will be sedated and moved to our room.”

“You’re sick Spender if you think this will work.”

“You will see it my way soon Alex.”

Spender injected me with the sedative, he then kissed my unwilling lips. I woke later to find myself naked in Spender’s bed, I noticed that all the restraints were back on.

Spender knew that I’d fight, also that I’d hurt him at the first opportunity I got. 

“Hey you’re awake Alex, I was beginning to think you were sleeping all day.”

“I should be so lucky.”

“Now Alex behave yourself, things are going to be different this time you will see.”

The man was totally insane, if I was fully healed I’d need to use it to my advantage. I decided that I would bide my time and act my usual self, otherwise he’d know I was up to something.

Spender came and lay beside me on the bed, God how I so badly just wanted to throw up. He then started stroking my chest and playing with my nipples.   
“You were always special Alex, that’s the reason I was always watching you. I knew that one day I’d finally have you to myself, so you see there’s no way I’m letting you go now.”

“It won’t work Spender.”

“We should at least try; don’t you agree Alex?”

“Do I even have a choice!”

“No you don’t Alex.”

Spender went down the bed until he found my cock, soon he had it deep inside his mouth and started sucking it. No matter what he did it remained soft. 

“What’s the matter Alex, are you tired or just not in the mood.”

“You you’re the fuckin problem, shit I despise you.”

“Your cock will respond to me soon Alex, then I will be able to make it so good for you.”

“I don’t want you near me.”

“Do you really want to go through all that pain again Alex?”

“Maybe next time you’ll just let me die.”

“We’ve been through this time and time again.”

“You have caused me nothing but pain since the first day I met you, if you really loved me you would not have watched me suffer so much.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I saw the tapes Spender; shit you were even recording me in the fuckin silo.”

“I just wanted to be able to see you, I had to know if you were okay.”

“You sick fuck, I was fine the times you weren’t in my life. I have a husband now and a Son.”

“You have no such thing any more Alex, all you have left is me now.”

“Well I’m totally fucked then and want to die.”

“I will be all you need; look I’ll show you right now.”

Spender started rubbing my cock again, to my horror it started to become hard. Fuck this shouldn’t be happening; the minute it was hard he placed the cock ring on it. 

“Don’t worry Alex I gave you a little something, you see it makes you hard and will keep you that way.”

“You Bastard.”

“All’s fair in love and war, even you should know that Alex.”

“Ha it’s the only way you could do it, you’re a sad old fuck who couldn’t turn anyone on.”

“Alex do you want me to punish you?”

“You will find a reason no matter what.”

“It’s not my fault you turn me on when you’re in pain.”

“You need putting out of your fuckin misery, you’re just a sad pathetic old man.”

“That’s not a nice way to speak to your new lover Alex.”

“I only have one lover; it most certainly is not you.”

Spender hit me again splitting my lip wide open. 

“Here we go again, you can’t go five minutes without hurting me.”

“Maybe if you behaved yourself Alex, that can be my new goal, I will discipline you to behave once and for all.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“If I can’t do it hurting your body, well I’ll have to destroy that mind of yours.”

“What the hell do you think that will accomplish?”

“Maybe I’ll send someone to torture your beloved Fox, I could record it and make you watch it.”

“Leave him out of this.”

“All I want is for you to fuck me Alex.”

“It will never happen.”

“Are you so sure of that, you’re not exactly in a position to refuse Alex?”

Shit I watched as Spender sat over me, he then slowly pushed my cock inside himself. Once he could move he fucked himself on it, he was right and there was no way I could stop him no matter what. I had to suffer until he finally came, he then removed the cock ring forcing me to come straight away. 

“See Alex I always get what I want.”

“Don’t count on it Spender.”

“I want to kiss you Alex, feel you as my tongue slips into your mouth.”

I remained quiet as Spender bent over me, he then started to kiss me with his foul smoke smelling mouth. I bided my time and waited, despite the fact I was totally repulsed by him.

I waited until he got carried away, as soon as he was off guard I bit his lip hard. Spender had no choice but to pull away, I was left spitting out part of his lip. 

“You will pay for that Alex.”

Spender punched me full on in the face, I swear he’d broke my jaw bone or something. 

“That was just for starters Alex.”

Spender held a cloth to his battered lip, he then used his intercom to get some help. His two usual goons came rushing in the room to help him. 

“Sir you wanted us?”

“Firstly I want that healer brought here, then I want him but in the other part of the basement in full restraints.”

“What joy I can’t wait.”

“I should never have given you a second chance Alex, I will be down soon to give you your punishment.”

Brilliant once again I was back restrained by my wrists, this part of the basement smelt far worse than where I was before. I would take whatever he dished out, this time I planned to provoke him as I wanted it over. When he finally came he was carrying the whip with him, at least I knew what to expect. 

“It’s just like old times Alex, however this time it ends for good as I have my orders. The aliens tolerate me here because we have a deal, however they see you as nothing but a problem. So it looks like I won’t be able to keep my little pet rat after all, it will break my heart but it has to be done.”

“Thank fuck.”

“Scream for me Alex, actually hold that thought for a minute.”

Spender went over to one of his goons and whispered something to him, I remained silent and just watched what he was doing. Within ten minutes he had a camera all wired up. 

“The camera will stay until you die Alex, then I will be able to re watch it whenever I miss you.”

“Jesus you’re sicker than I thought Spender.”

I never knew how to keep my mouth shut, within minutes he was back to burning me again. When he finally decided it was over I was a mess, most of my skin had been burnt or cut open with the whip. 

“I will be back shortly Alex.”

I never even had the energy to answer him. I soon realized that this part of the basement was infested with rats, great I’d perhaps die of some infection or they’d eat me alive.

Spender came in now and then; it was mainly just to see if I was dead yet. 

“You’re a fighter Alex, however you have blood poisoning once more, this time it will get worse quick due to the filth down here.”

“Hell maybe you should leave Spender, that way there wouldn’t be as much filth in here.”

“I see you’re going to have a smart mouth right until the end.”

“Maybe you should have let me die the first time.”

“Goodbye Alex.”

  
Spender turned and walked out once more. I had no idea how long I was hung there, I’d lost all felling in my arms a long time ago.

Soon I never knew what were dreams and what was real, I was just hung and left to die with the rats. It smelt of damp down here along with human piss, I was forced to just remain there in my own filth.

Finally, I started passing out for long periods of time, at least which was far better than watching the rats advance on me.  
I was becoming very disillusioned; I was starting to see things that couldn’t possibly be here.

 I knew that it was most probably the blood poisoning, I just couldn’t understand why death was taking so long. At least I knew death was coming though as my body was slowly shutting down, I could no longer move or even talk.

The only thing left functioning now was my brain, even which was starting to shut down now. I was ready for this and welcomed death rather than Spender.

More voices again, I just kept on hearing them in my head. I no longer knew if Spender was really in the basement with me, or if he was just a figment of my imagination.

 “Have you reached a decision yet Alex, you choose it’s me or the rats.”

Even if he was real I was unable to answer, I knew my time was up and death was here now. 

“Alex can you hear me, come on it’s time to go now.”

As death asked me to leave here I was more than willing, I even managed to say just two words. 

“I’m ready.”

“Get him out of here now, I’ll deal with everything else at this end.”

“Very well.”

I felt someone touch my damaged skin, I then blacked out from the overload of pain.

Fuck this just couldn’t be happening, I woke and realized I was still alive yet again but had no idea where I was. Spender must have decided to save me again after all, the bastard just wouldn’t let me die. I looked up and saw Fox sat in a chair, shit then it hit me just how low Spender would go.

“Hey Alex you’re awake.”

“You bastard stay the fuck away from me.”

“Alex babe please calm down.”

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do, you should have just left me to die. I know what your game is Spender and you don’t fool me.”

“Alex it’s me Fox.”

“You said you’d get me to fuck you, is this how you planned to do it. You disguise yourself as Fox just so I’ll sleep with you.”

“You need help Alex, you need to fight this for yourself also me and your son.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Do you want me to get Jeramiah to heal you?”

“You must think I’m really stupid Spender, Jeramiah left to go back to his own planet.”

“Fine I’ll go and get him then Alex.”

Soon he returned with someone who looked like Jeramiah, most probably just another clone. 

“Both of you get out of here.”

“Jeramiah can help you Alex.”

“He’s not coming anywhere near me; whoever he is he can stay well away from me.”

“Fox you know I can’t help unless he wants it.”

“Jeramiah please at least heal his body.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you Spender, heal me so you can abuse me all over again.”

“Alex babe it’s me, look at me I’m Fox not Spender.”

“Looks mean very little especially with the alien technology, get out now.”

“Jeramiah please help him.”

“Fox his mind has to heal somewhat first; he would never even let me near him in this state.”

“Great so all we can do is wait.”

“I’m sorry Fox I really am.”

“Nice try but I don’t buy your bullshit, do you think acting like that will get me to trust you.”

“Alex I really don’t know how to get through to you Babe, all I know is that I thought you were gone for good. Yet you’re here now and I still feel like I’ve lost you.”

“Just leave me alone both of you.”

“Have it your way for now Alex.”

I was once more on my own and I was glad, I pulled the very light sheet back to get out of bed. God the sight that greeted me horrified me, my body was a total mess. I was covered in cuts and bruises, even the slightest movement was unbearable.

Well there was no way I’d be leaving this bed alive, my body was also covered in many cigarette burns. Some I could tell were severely infected, I knew what septicaemia looked like when I saw it.

I also had to accept that my death would be very painful, that or bow down to Spender. I would prefer death over his touch, I just didn’t need all this bullshit in between now and death.

I refused any form of medication whatsoever, I even refused to drink any water. I knew that death would come sooner or later, even though sooner would be preferable.

The pain was becoming so bad that I couldn’t even escape into sleep. I managed to fall asleep for only a few minutes before the nightmares came.

I’d woke up screaming, the sudden movement had now left me in even more agony. Soon my screaming brought company to my room, however I didn’t want any company at all as I wanted to die alone.

“Jesus Alex accept the fuckin help, you’re a stubborn fucking bastard. I love you and you just lay there, shit you expect me to just sit here and watch you die.”

“I’m not asking you to stay and watch am I.”

“You won’t listen at all will you Alex, I love you and gave you my life, and I left everything behind because of how much I love you.”

I watched as Spender or whoever it was just sat there, then he suddenly burst into tears and sobbed. It broke my heart to watch, in all outward appearances it just looked so much like Fox.

I lay there just watching, I had no idea what to do or say. If this was Spender it was a cruel trick, but saying that Spender was a cruel person.

I felt like I was losing my mind; however I would need to make a decision real fast. I knew that my body wouldn’t last much longer maybe it might be as short as just a few hours. 

“You claim to be Fox right.”

“I am Fox, I love you Alex and want you back.”

“You have to accept it’s hard for me to trust anyone, I’ve been through so much pain, fuck I’m still in pain.”

“Jeramiah could heal you Alex, then you could see your son.”

“Tell me then, if you’re really Fox how did I get here. The alien that took me refused to bring me back.”

“Jeramiah and a couple of others rescued you, they also killed Spender and rescued one of their own.”

“Say that’s true, how did Jeramiah know where I was. The last time we spoke he was leaving here to go home?”

“He has some sort of bond with you Alex.”

“Great another fuckin alien inside me.”

“Not a bond like that don’t worry, he keeps an eye out for you that’s all. He sees you as a son or some sort of family member. He had someone check on you once a month, that was how he knew you were in trouble.”

“Where is Jeramiah now.”

“He had to leave, but he’ll be back real soon.”

“You say he will heal me then.”

“Alex he refuses to touch you without your permission, he says it was a deal that was made between the two of you.”

“Well I have to admit it sounds like Jeramiah.”

“As for me, all I can do is tell you how much I love you and want you back.”

“Okay say you’re Fox and I’m truly hoping you are; will you do something for me.”

“If I can I will, I’d do anything for you Alex and you know that.”

“Okay prove it, you remember the time when I had you chained. You were my prisoner yet I ended up in bed with you, we even ended up making love.”

“Yeah I can remember that, it was special Alex when we realized how we felt for each other.”

“I want you to make love to me again, just like before Fox.”

"What now?"

"Yeah right now Fox, why is that a problem?"

“You’ve got to be fucking joking, shit Alex you’re off your head if you think I’ll do that.”

“No I wasn’t joking at all Fox, it’s good to see you again Lover.”

“I don’t understand, shit I just refused what you wanted Alex.”

“Exactly, why did you refuse to make love to me Fox.”

“I couldn’t hurt you like that Alex, Jesus you’re way too sick for that.”

“That’s the difference Fox, if I’d asked Spender he’d have jumped straight on me.”

“God I thought that I’d lost you forever, I need to go quickly and find Jeramiah.”

“It might already be too late Fox; I don’t think I can hold on any longer.”

“I won’t be long please don’t give up Alex, I love you so much Babe and your son needs you.”

I couldn’t believe that I was finally back with my Fox, the man I loved and thought I’d never see again. Suddenly I couldn’t hear properly and everything was going black, at first I thought it was the devil talking to me and this was Hell. My body screamed in pain, I forced my eyes open and looked up. 

“Alex come on wake up, I need you to talk to me and tell me its okay.”

“Jeramiah.”

“Yes Alex it’s me, you need to let me know if I can heal you.”

“If he really is Fox you can heal my body, nothing else though Jeramiah.”

“Very well, you might sleep for quite a while afterwards.”

“Yeah okay, and thanks’ for this Jeramiah.”

“I will always be looking out for you all.”

Jeramiah placed his hand on my chest, I tried not to scream at the pain it caused. 

“It will pass very soon, just give in and sleep Alex.”

It wasn’t long before I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke Fox was back in the chair, I had no idea at all where Jeramiah was. 

“Fox how long have I been here.”

“About six days Babe, you’ve been out of it for the last three days, how do you feel now Alex.”

“Physically I feel fine; I really think I need a shower though.”

“Yeah true, we couldn’t even touch you at all.”

“It’s not your fault Fox.”

“I’ll go and run a nice bath for you Babe.”

I climbed out of bed to see if I could stand, to be honest I felt just fine. 

“Alex the bath’s ready for you, do you want me to help you.”

“I’m fine Fox don’t worry, Jeramiah’s done a good job. How has Lexi been while I was gone?”

“He’s been fine Alex, I kept showing him pictures of you.”

“Can I see him Fox?”

“Scully has him at the moment as he likes playing with Sam, do you want me to go and get him.”

“No I might as well get cleaned up first, I’ll go and get that bath now.”

“If you want anything Alex just shout.”

“Yeah okay Fox will do.”  
I got undressed and checked my body out, at least Jeramiah had done a good job and it was fully healed. I then looked in the mirror, shit I just collapsed to the floor sobbing, Jeramiah had healed me physically however mentally it would take time.

I couldn’t even stand the sight of my own body, every time I looked at myself I felt Spender watching me or touching me. I got up and covered the mirror over, I then stepped into the warm relaxing bath.

It felt so good to be clean once more, soon I grabbed a towel and went in search of some clothes. Shit I suddenly realized that I had no idea where I was, so I was left with no choice but to call Fox and ask for help.

“Fox can you come here please?”

“What’s matter Alex?”

“I need some clothes, also I want to know where I am?”

“It’s just somewhere Jeramiah keeps for when he’s here, or for when it’s needed. You’re actually only a couple of miles from home, right I’ll just get some clothes for you.”

I followed Fox into the bedroom, he found me some jeans and a tee shirt, also some underwear. 

“Jesus Alex you might need a belt with them, I think they’re going to be too big for you. You’ve lost a lot of weight, just let me know then if you need the belt.”

“Fox stop fucking looking at me like that.”

“I’m sorry Babe, I was just thinking how thin you are.”

“Can’t you just get out and let me dress Fox.”

“Fine if that’s what you want.”

Shit I’d just pissed off the one person I loved, the only person who truly loved me for who I am. 

“I’m sorry Fox.”

“Its fine Alex, you get dressed and I’ll make some coffee.”

“Yeah okay then.”  
I was falling apart around Fox; god knows how I’d cope with my own son. I was so fucked up and had no idea how to deal with it.

I walked into the kitchen to the smell of coffee, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d had a cup, shit there were a few things I know longer remembered. I sat at the table, soon Fox joined me with two mugs of coffee. 

“Fox.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m really sorry for snapping at you.”

“Its fine Alex, you will need time to adjust that’s all.”

“I hope it’s as simple as that Fox.”

“I will help you any way that I can.”

“Can I ask you something Fox?”

“Anything Babe.”

“What if it’s not that simple, what if I remain like I am now?”

“What do you mean, how do you think you are right now Alex?”

“God how do I say this?”

“Just try the best you can.”

“I don’t want anyone near me or looking at my body, what if I can’t cope with you or Lexi near me.”

“Its early days Babe so don’t get too stressed now.”

“I need space, yet I’m scared I lose you both.”

“I’m here now Alex, come on let’s just take it one day at a time.”

“Fine can I just ask one more thing.”

“Of course Babe.”

“This is so awful to say, shit it will make me sound like a shit parent too.”

“Alex what is it?”

“Can I spend tonight with just you Fox, I would rather we go and get Lexi tomorrow. I’m so scared that I can’t cope with him, or that I scare him.”

“It’s natural Alex, it’s also good that you’re concerned about his feelings too. I’ll do it now, I’ll call Scully and arrange it with her.”

“Thank you Fox, also can we go home soon?”

“Of course Babe, you might feel a bit better at home anyway.”

“Do you really love me Fox?”

“Hey what brought this on, of course I love you Alex.”

“How can you now?”

“What do you mean?”

“How can you love me after what Spender did, then there was also Skinner.”

“Alex I love you no matter what, why should we have to give up what we have? So we both just end up alone and Spender wins. I don’t think so Babe, come on drink your coffee.”

Soon Fox shoved the few bits and pieces into a bag, he then grabbed a pen and some paper. 

“I’ll just leave a note for Jeramiah, I know he wants to see you Alex as he has something for you.”

“Why what is it?”

“I have no idea Alex.”

“I guess I’ll have to just wait and see then.”

We drove home to the house we’d bought together, it seemed strange now like I was just a guest here. #

“Alex you look pale Babe.”

“It feels really strange Fox, shit it feels like I don’t belong here anymore.”

“It will be strange at first Alex; you should be okay after a few days Babe as you hardly spent much time here.”

“Yeah I know.”

I walked over to the fireplace and picked up the photo of my son, I knew that I’d have to fight this to protect him from any harm. I put the photo back, I then picked up the one of myself and Fox, we were happy and that was what I wanted again. 

“Alex we can be like that again.”

“Yeah right.”

“You know Jeramiah could help you.”

“Help how? Take away everything that’s me.”

“You would still be yourself Alex.”

“Yeah just minus many of my memories.”

“Only the bad memories Alex.”

“Jeramiah can’t be that specific, I could lose my memories of you and Lexi.”

“You could make new memories Alex, good ones of the three of us together.”

“It’s not that easy Fox, without certain memories we wouldn’t be where we are now.”

“I would help you Babe.”

“It’s you isn’t it Fox.”

“What’s me?”

“You can’t cope with how I am now, if I have my memories wiped I might just become your fuckin toy.”

“Is that all you think I want Alex?”

“It looks that way to me.”

“I love your mind as well Alex, I love you as a whole person.”

“Really Fox, you spout a lot of bullshit.”

I felt so pissed off with everyone, it was like I blamed them for what Spender did to me. I threw my jacket on the chair and soon my tee shirt followed. 

“Alex what are you doing?”

“Letting you have what you want Fox, then you might just leave me alone.”

I walked towards him and unfastened my jeans. 

“Please Alex stop it don’t do this.”

“Why that’s all you want; you just want me as your fuck toy.”

I shoved Fox hard against the wall, he was totally blocked and had nowhere to go. I then grabbed his hand and shoved it down my pants. 

“Here Fox this is what you want.”

“I love you so much Alex.”

“Fuck you Fox.”

I pressed my lips upon his forcing him to kiss me, he tried so hard to get me off him without success. 

“How does it feel Fox?”

“Why Alex…”

I resumed kissing him again, however this time I forced my tongue in to his warm mouth. Fox tried to protest and shove me away from him, at that point I bit his lip hard bringing blood. 

“Does it turn you on Fox to get what you want.”

“Get the fuck off me Alex, shit I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

I started unfastening his pants and pulling them down, I then bit his nipple hard through his tee shirt. 

“Well Fox do you like it, how’s it feels just to be someone’s fuck toy.”

“Alex get the fuck off me now.”

“Poor Fox are you getting upset.”

“You bastard.”

I was shoved backwards hard, I ended up sitting on my backside. I looked up and saw the tears, shit what had I just done to him. Fox stood there half-dressed and crying, shit I had to wonder just how far I would have gone. I turned and grabbed my tee shirt and jacket, I then started to re dress myself. 

“Alex please talk to me.”

“Get out of my way Fox.”

I walked over to the desk, I knew we kept spare cash in the draw. 

“Alex what are you doing?”

“Going out.”

“Please stay and talk to me Babe.”

I never even looked back, I turned around and just walked straight out ignoring Fox as he shouted. I soon found an off licence, I bought a bottle of strong vodka then went in search of a park bench. I could have found a bar somewhere, however the last thing I wanted right now was company.

I finally found a quiet place in a park, I then started knocking the vodka back neat and felt the burn in my throat. I then started to think about everything, I knew I owed a lot to Jeramiah, everyone seemed to think I was a survivor.

Good old Alex can survive whatever’s thrown at him, what the hell did they all know anyway. Jeramiah had always saved me physically, mentally it had been Fox that had kept me going.

Yeah and look how I’d just treat him, maybe he would be far better off without me. At the moment only one thing in my life mattered, that was finishing the bottle of vodka off.

Soon I was totally hammered, then I got it into my head that I needed to go and see my son. It took some time, however I finally managed to find my way to Scully’s apartment. I found the right floor then banged on her door, soon I heard some movement from inside. 

“Alex what are you doing here, where’s Fox?”

“I want to see my son.”

“Alex you can barely stand.”

“Just let me in Scully.”

“Alex he’s fast asleep, you can see him if you’re quiet.”

“Yeah okay.”

I looked down upon my sleeping son, it was then I suddenly realized how much I’d missed him. God the poor kid really didn’t deserve me as a parent, I went into the main room and sat down. 

“Alex where’s Fox.”

“Home I believe.”

” Does he even know where you are?”

“He’s not my fuckin keeper Scully.”

“Fine okay I was just asking; why don’t you sleep it off Alex.”

I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep; however I awoke to the presence of Fox. 

“Come on Alex it’s time to move.”

“Where are we going, hey it’s you Fox.”

“Yeah it’s me Alex, come on I’m taking you home.”

“So you can have your wicked way with me.”

“No Alex you’re drunk, you can sleep it off in the spare bedroom.”

“You’re no fun Fox, why take me home then.”

“Because you’re my lover and Husband Alex.”

“Yeah I forgot about that.”

“I don’t want to know Alex, as I can’t mean that much if you forgot.”

“Whatever, come on then let’s go so I can get some sleep.”

We got inside the car and I fumbled with the bloody seat belt, Fox had to reach over and fasten it for me. I couldn’t help but kiss him as he reached over me. 

“Don’t Alex.”

“Why Lover?”

“Because you’re drunk, it also hurts me to see you like this.”

“Like what Lover?”

“I want to help you more than anything, but you refuse to even let me inside that head of yours. You storm off and demand not to even be looked at, yet you come on to me like this.”

“Fox if you’re going to start all that bullshit again stop the car, I would rather walk than put up with more crap from you.”

“Fuck you Alex.”

Fox refused to stop the car and carried on driving, he drove all the way home without even speaking to me. We finally stopped and I was just glad to get out of the car. 

“Fox do you want me to sleep with you, I just thought you might be a bit lonely.”

“No just go sleep it off Alex, I don’t want you near me in that state.”

“Fuck you then Fox.”

I stormed into the spare bedroom and slammed the door really hard, fine I’d sleep in here permanently if that’s what he wanted. I could hear Fox sobbing in the other room, the room that was meant to be ours together as a couple.

Shit what the hell was I doing to Fox, also how the hell had I forgot we were married. It seemed strange to think of him as my husband, for better or worse, in sickness and health. Jesus did Fox really want to stay with me, after I’d put him through so much in life.

Maybe he was right and I should just sleep it off. I started to wonder how we could bring Lexi home, especially if me and Fox weren’t even getting along together. With sleep came more nightmares and I was back with Spender, all I wanted was to go home to my lover and son yet Spender wouldn’t let me go.

I woke up covered in sweat and realized I was home; Spender wasn’t here with me. Shit I would have given anything to go home, now I was back here I seemed determined to push them both away. I got out of bed and went to our bedroom, I then silently opened the door.

My heart broke when I saw Fox huddled on the bed all alone, I also noticed that he was hugging one of my tee shirts. Did I really mean that much to him, I remembered back to the time I’d kept him prisoner. We had made love and talked to each other, Fox had chosen to remain with me rather than go back.

Fox had helped me fight the cause to stop colonization, the man had even been buried alive to stay with me. What a fuckin idiot I was, this man would do anything for me.

Fox had even wanted to marry me and raise a child that wasn’t even his, I made a decision there and then. I stripped out of all my clothes and lay on the bed, I lay beside the man who I loved and who had my heart.

“Fox wake up.”

“Alex what do you want, is something wrong?”

“I want you Lover, I was a fuckin idiot and I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay Alex, you have been through so much.”

“So have you Fox, you deserve to be treated far better than how I treat you.”

” Alex I love you and want only you, I just want us to be happy together Babe.”

“Fox can I make love to you.”

“Anytime Babe, God I’ve missed you so much Alex.”

I took Fox into my arms and kissed him, I then reached to grab the tube of lube. I applied a generous amount to my fingers, then I slowly started to work one inside him.

God Fox was gorgeous and so responsive to my touch, I soon had another deep inside him. He felt so tight and warm that it made my cock hard, just the thought of been inside him was a turn on.

 “Just fuck me Babe.”

“I’m planning to make love to you Fox.”

I placed the tip of my cock against his tight hole and pushed, it felt really good and I was back with the man who wanted me. It was like been together at the start all over again, I soon worked up a rhythm and came deep inside him. 

“Your so fuckin sexy Fox, I want you to come inside me now Lover.”

I sat back and applied some lube to my own ass, I then inserted a finger to tease Fox. 

“Jesus Alex I’ll come before I even get inside you, especially if you keep doing that Babe.”

I sat over Fox and inserted his cock into my own ass, God he felt so large inside me and I just wanted more. 

“Don’t you dare come yet Fox, I want you to fuck me hard Lover.”

“I’ll try Babe.”

Fox worked up a rhythm inside me, here I was just about to come for the second time. As I came so did Fox, I then just collapsed in a heap on top of him. 

“I’ve been a complete bastard to you Fox, shit I am so sorry for everything.”

“I told you that it’s okay Alex, it’s understandable after what you’ve suffered.”

“No it’s not okay Fox, you and Lexi were the only thing that kept me going. How I prayed that I’d see you both again, but towards the end all I wanted was to die. Fox that alien used me and had no intention of coming back, I’d swear it had made a deal with Spender.”

“I’m just glad to have you back safe, I love you so much Alex and thought I’d never see you again.”

Fox if I hadn’t have made it back would you have kept Lexi.”

“Of course I would Babe, I love him like he’s my own.”

“Thank you Fox, at least I know he has you to be there for him.”

“I will always be here for both of you.”

“He gave me two choices Fox.”

“Who the alien?”

“No Spender, I could become his Lover or die.”

“I’m sure I can imagine what you chose Alex.”

“Yeah and because of my choice he was pissed off, he planned to make it as painful as possible. Shit he raped me and whipped me, then to top it off he burnt me repeatedly.”

I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, Fox held me in his arms and stroked my hair. 

“Come on Alex I’ve got you now, I saw your body and can only imagine the pain you must have suffered.”

“I feel better now Fox, I just starting thinking you just wanted the same as him.”  
“Never Alex would I treat you like that, we’re in this together Babe, you me and Lexi against the world.”

“Thank you Fox.”

“I would do anything for you and want us to be happy. All relationships have ups and downs, but I won’t ever see you as something just to abuse.”

“I love you so much Fox, however there’s still just one thing that scares me Fox?”

“What’s that Babe?”

“What if the alien comes back?”

“I think that’s what Jeramiah wants to see you about; you will find out tomorrow Babe.”

“God I hope so; I also need to apologize to Scully too.”

“She understands and loves you too Alex, you made her feel whole again and like a real person. Scully said you’ll always have a place in her heart, along with me.”

“At least she accepted us Fox unlike Skinner, he refused to believe you could love someone like me.”

“I know Babe and look what he did to you.”

“I’m not defending him Fox, shit what he did to me really fuckin hurt. However the alien used my body, it made a pass at Skinner and he acted on it. All the alien wanted was some information and it didn’t care how it got it.”

“You’re more forgiving than I’d be Alex.”

“I have to be Fox, either that or I’d go mad.”

“Yeah okay I can understand that.”

“Fox are we okay together?”

“Of course Babe Why?”

“I just need to be sure, I guess I’m just feeling a bit insecure at the moment that’s all.”

“I’m not going to lie to you Alex, sometimes you scare the hell out of me.”

“How do I scare you Fox, shit I don’t want you to feel like that.”

“When you storm off out, when I don’t even know if you’ll come back.”

“I’ll always come back Fox if I can, I would just tell you if it was over Lover. I promise here and now that I wouldn’t just leave.”

“Thank you Alex, tell me honestly would you have come back home earlier.”

“Of course I would have, I just needed to let off some steam that’s all. I then got it in to my head that I wanted to see my son, as for the rest you know.”

“I’m glad Alex.”

“What about you Fox, would you have been happy if I’d turned up drunk.”

“Alex if you ever get drunk or be a pain, well I’d just make you sleep in the spare room that’s all.”

“We’d better get some sleep Lover; sounds like we have a busy day tomorrow.”

“Yeah Alex as I don’t know what time Jeramiah’s coming, also we will need to go and pick Lexi up.

For the first time in ages I felt like I belonged, I also had a night without any nightmares at all. Jeramiah arrived before we were even awake, I was the one who got up while Fox slept. 

“You’re looking a lot better Alex.”

“Yeah and I have you to thank once again, you’ve pulled me out of some shit over the years.”

“This is only a temporary visit Alex. We will always be watching over you all, I will also call and see you in the future.”

“You had better do, shit you’re like my family Jeramiah.”

“Before I left there was something I wanted to give you.”

“Okay what is it?”

Jeramiah held out his hand, he then passed me the three syringes he held. 

“What are these for Jeramiah.”  
“There’s one for you Fox and Lexi, it will kill all the traces of black oil inside you. It will just die and pass through your nose while you sleep.”

“Does it mean what I think it means.”

“It means the alien won’t find you anymore, you’ll be safe Alex all three of you.”

“Thank you Jeramiah, hell this means a lot.”

“It has worked fine in all testing so I don’t think you’ll have a problem.”

“Okay we can do it later.”

“I must be going now Alex, make sure you look after yourself and your family.”

I hugged Jeramiah and watched him leave, I was still sat at the kitchen table when Fox woke. 

“Hey Fox you’re awake; do you want some coffee Lover?”

“Hey are you okay Alex, you just look a bit down that’s all.”

“Jeramiah has gone now, shit I never realized before how much I’d miss him.”

“I’m sure he’ll come back Alex.”

“Yeah he said he would, he also brought these for us Fox.”

“What are they?”

“They kill the black oil inside us, that way the alien won’t be able to use us again.”

“Good at least we won’t have to worry about that then.”

“Yeah true, I’ll just get a shower and we can get Lexi.”

“Yeah okay, I’ll join you if you want Alex?”

“Of course I want you to, come on Lover.”

We both went and got a shower together, it was good to finally be back to normal again. 

“Fox when do you want to use the injections?”

“I meant to ask you about that Babe, me and Scully worked on a case with that stuff.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was after Tunguska Babe; we were called out to an old people’s home. Someone had been out there and was cleaning everything up, all the patients were dead Alex.”

“Shit great now what?”

“Every patient had rejected the oil; it had been at the cost of their life though.”

“Okay so you’re worried that’s what will happen to us Fox?”

“Yeah something like that.”

“Jeramiah assured me it’s the new version, the black oil will leave the host alive.”

“Yeah okay Alex, I just wanted to know that’s all.”

“I’ll do it first Fox if you want, that way you’ll know whether it’s safe or not.”

“No we do it together Babe or not at all.”

“Okay Fox together, come on let’s go and get Lexi.”

It felt like ages since I’d held my son, he already seemed to be a lot bigger. 

“He’s grown so much Fox in such a short time, hey Lexi look its Daddy.”

“He’ll be one soon Babe.”

“Yeah how time has flown Lover.”

We went back home and settled into a normal routine. Lexi came first during the day, at night me and Fox spent some time together.

He was a good kid, hell he slept at least ten hours every night. That was plenty of time to make love to my husband and Lover, we’d come a long way and I’d do it again if this was the end result. 

“You look miles away Alex.”

“I was just thinking that’s all.”

“About good things I hope Babe.”

“Yeah Fox the best thoughts possible, the tests proved that we’re free from the black oil lover. We’re all alive and all together Fox, what more could I ask for Lover.”

“Yeah true, I can’t think of anything else either Babe.”

“Okay maybe there is just one thing Lover.”

“What’s that Babe?”

“You naked and making love to me Fox.”

“It would be my pleasure Babe; we’d better make the most of it while Lexi’s little.”

“Very true lover.”

Fox stripped himself then slowly undressed me, he then started kissing my neck before moving downwards. Fuck what a turn on it was as he bit my nipples, holy shit then he kissed the tip of my cock. Soon I was stood there with my cock far down his throat, after that he sucked each of my balls in turn. 

“Jesus Fox I can’t take much more of this.”

“I haven’t finished with you yet babe, come on lay on the bed with your ass in the air Babe.”

I did as Fox asked, I went and lay on the bed on my stomach. Shit then I nearly jumped back off the bed, Fox was rimming my ass with his tongue. Fuck then he slowly pushed the tip inside me, all I wanted to do was come from that alone. 

“You’re fuckin gorgeous Babe.”

“I don’t know about that Fox, but I do know I’m going to come Lover.”

“Alex roll back over Babe so I can see you.”

I rolled over and Fox took my cock back in his mouth, shit this just felt so good. Suddenly unexpected he shoved his finger up my ass, I came really hard down his throat. 

“Jesus Fox you’re killing me Babe, shit I can barely move now.”

“You don’t need to move Babe.”

Fox positioned my legs over his shoulders, then I felt as he slipped his cock deep inside my ass. 

“God you’re so tight Babe.”

“Less talking Lover, come on just fuck me hard Fox.”

“You asked for it.”

Fox soon worked up a rhythm, Jesus I was so fuckin turned on by this man. It wasn’t long before I came again, that was what Fox and only Fox could do to me.

He was my Lover, husband and soul mate, I had no idea what life would be like without him, I sure as Hell didn’t want to find out either.

“Come on Alex sleep, I have plans for us tomorrow.”

“Why what are we doing?”

“Scully’s babysitting, we Alex are going Christmas shopping.”

 “Shit Fox I’ve never bothered with Christmas before.”

“You have a family now Alex, also a son who will be celebrating his first Christmas.”

We dropped Lexi off and thanked Scully, we now had a really busy day ahead of us. 

“So just what do we need to buy then Lover.”

“A tree and decorations, and also some presents.”

“Can we have a really big tree with lots of lights?”

“Of course we can Babe, are you just a big kid at heart Alex?”

“No I’ve never had one before that’s all.”

“Had one what?”

“Any of it Fox a tree or presents, or a family to be with at Christmas.”

“What not ever.”

“No I’ve never celebrated Christmas before.”

“Jesus Alex you’re kidding, oh shit you’re not are you? Hey come here Babe don’t cry we’ll make up for it this year.”

“You must think you married a right baby.”

“No I don’t Alex, I married a man who is loving and who wants to be loved, also someone who has suffered far more than any one man should.”

“Hey I’ll be okay in a minute.”

“We will have a good Christmas Alex I promise.”

“Fox I have you and Lexi, so I already know it’ll be perfect this year.”

We must have spent hours shopping and walking around, we managed to buy a tree and lots of lights. Later once we were home we had to unpack everything, Fox tested some of the lights while I got all exited. 

“I guess I’ll have to learn how to wrap presents Fox.”

“Me too Babe, can you go and get Lexi while I clean up some of this mess?”

“Are you feeling okay Lover, you and cleaning have never got along before.”

“Hey I will be fine Alex, go on go before I change my mind.”

With that said I grabbed my car keys, I then turned and gave Fox a very passionate lingering kiss. 

“That’s just until later Lover.”

“I will hold you too that Alex.”

I drove over to get Lexi, I started to wonder if we should invite Scully over at Christmas. 

“Hi Scully, has he behaved himself?”

“Like an Angel Alex, can I now ask a favour in return.”

“Yeah of course you can Scully.”

“Would you babysit for a couple of hours, I just need to get some shopping of my own before everything sells out.”

“Of course I don’t mind; they get on great together anyway.”

“Thanks’ Alex and I won’t be too long.”

Well I now had the job of entertaining two small people, it turned out to be an enjoyable experience. We spent the time playing with some bricks and other toys, I then fed both of them and changed them.

By the time Scully returned Sam was fast asleep in her cot, Lexi was asleep in his car seat and I was fast asleep on the couch.

“Hey Alex sleepy head wake up I picked your lover up on the way home, I thought we could have a drink together and a takeaway.”

“That sounds great and it’ll save cooking later on, before we knew it the night was over and it was time to go home. I had enjoyed spending the day out and couldn’t wait until it was Christmas day.

We drove home with Lexi fast asleep, I just hoped that he would sleep tonight so I could thank Fox for everything. Jesus I hadn’t been prepared for the sight ahead that greeted me as Fox turned the corner. 

“Do you like it Babe?”

The house was covered in lights even including the roof, it looked fantastic and I realized he’d done it for me. 

“Thank you Fox, it’s gorgeous, it must have taken you ages to do all that.”

“Scully helped me.”

“So she never went shopping then?”

“No we had it planned all along.”

“I love you so much Fox.”

“I love you Alex, come on you need to see it inside as well.”

“What there’s more?”

“Yeah come and look at the tree Alex.”

We entered the house to a very well-lit hallway, there stood the tree huge and proud with many lights in red and gold. 

“It’s gorgeous Fox just like you.”  
“You deserve this Alex; we will have every Christmas like this from now on.”

“You spoil me Fox.”

The main room also had a large tree with lights, Fox had also lit the fireplace up too. 

“I thought it would look good when we get the fire burning.”

“It will and I can’t wait Fox.”

We spent most of the night on the rug, the fire flickered and burned in the darkness. Everything just felt so good and right, I just wanted to stay here like this forever. Fox returned with two glasses and a bottle of champagne. 

“What are we celebrating Lover?”

“Life Alex, me your family, whatever you want. I’m just so happy to be here with you and Lexi.”

“Sounds good to me Lover.”

Fox came and sat down beside me on the rug, we soon both sat there with a full glass of champagne each. 

“Fox make love to me here, I want you to take me in front of the fire Lover.”

“I thought you’d never ask Babe.”

We spent a romantic night in front of the fire, we also ended up making love a couple of times. 

“Do you want to go to bed Alex?”

“Can we sleep here Fox please?”

“Of course we can Babe, I’ll just grab a blanket for us.”

“You think of everything Lover.”

“Only for you Alex.”

I lay in Fox’s arms as he held me close to him, shit then I had to go and start crying.

“Hey Alex come on Babe, I wasn’t that bad was I…”

“It’s not your fault Fox, okay well maybe it is you if you look at it that way. God I’m so lucky to have you Fox, you’re my soulmate.”

“So why all the tears Babe?”

“I was thinking about the past Fox, the life that I have had before all this.”

“It’s just what you said Alex, it’s the past Babe so don’t upset yourself over it.”

“Originally all I wanted was revenge, I blamed everyone for the past and what I’d suffered. I took you Fox and held you against your will, you must have really hated me back then.”

“I don’t think I ever hated you Babe, I used to even think that you had some ulterior motive. You kept coming back all the time, you could have killed me long before that if you wanted me dead. I had a feeling that you wanted to be friends or something, like a complete bastard all I did was push you away.”

“I can’t blame you for that Fox after everything I did to you, I worked for Spender and he sent me to destroy you, then I go and fall in love with you.”

“Hey I’m glad that you did Alex.”

“Me too lover.”

“Merry Christmas Alex.”

“It will be now I have you Fox, we’ve come a long way to get where we are now.”

We lay there in front of the fire and soon Fox was fast asleep, I just lay there thinking about how lucky I really was.

Once I asked if the pain would ever end, the short answer to that is no I’m afraid. I felt pain at the many violent acts that were carried out against me. Now I feel the pain that comes with love, the pain of watching people you love get hurt or upset.

The pain of knowing that one day, well you won’t be needed quite as much, however the pain that comes with love is one I’ll willingly accept. The good times ahead with my Lover and child far outweigh the past, a past where I was robbed of a life at the hands of a few selfish people.

Everything in life brought me here, the best thing I ever did was fall in love and kidnap Fox Mulder.

Will The Pain Ever End?  
By CarolelaineD

Merry Xmas to old friends and new ones, also Merry Christmas to Nick Lea.  
This one is for all my Nick Lea mad friends, you all know who you are xx.  



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